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Mental health

Unhappy

4 replies

SlaveToFinnAndEve · 26/07/2011 21:30

I am so unhappy.
I have 2 little ones of 3 and 20 months. They are lovely kids but demanding like any child!
I work full time in the public sector in a job that I've been in for 7 months after leaving a part-time job in the same department. My new boss has completely overloaded me with work and even though he acknowledges this he does nothing about it. I don't think I can cope any more.
I have a partner who does his fair share of care and housework but he's so negative and gives me a hardtime about how much he has to do at home and the amount of time I spend working in the evening. Unless I work I can't meet my deadlines.
We have severe financial problems because of my partner's old gambling debts. We're managing this through a debt management plan.
I feel that I'm being pulled in all directions. I feel so anxious this evening my chest hurts. I had CBT earlier this year and found it useful but I felt that the counsellor was pushing me toward leaving my OH.
Am thinking of going to GP tomorrow. Maybe anti-depressants will help.
Any similar experiences?

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madmouse · 26/07/2011 21:44

You should not have to take anti-depressants because your employer fails his duty of care towards you. It is time to get assertive - work hard on the job, but don't work at home. If deadlines are missed explain that you were given too much work to complete in time. Don't let him bully you. Tell him he has a duty of care towards you and that you are cracking under the strain. Make sure it is on record, so email him etc.

My direct boss is the same - she leans on me and when I said I was overwhelmed she agreed but claimed to be 'helpless'. I got our director involved as well and she took it more seriously. I now do my best to not be wound up by the amount of work but to do as much as I reasonably can.

Equally it is time to tell your partner that he is -well, your partner, and partners work together, he's not helping you out, he's doing his share, and you don't want moaning about it.

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Keziahhopes · 27/07/2011 23:16

Like madmouse says, antidepressants will not change the problem at work. Perhaps you could ask your employer what they want you to do first if not possible (and it isn't as they given you too much) and for them to decide what gets missed out etc. My dh found this worked well when he was overloaded, they get to choose what doesn't happen and can't blame you !!

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midnightservant · 27/07/2011 23:33

Do you have supervision meetings? Your concerns should be voiced and recorded at such a meeting. Has your employer signed up to Mindful Employer? Although the initial guidelines were to do with recruitment, it was certainly intended to go on to cover working conditions. If all else fails, how about asking for a referral to Occupational Health.

The world has gone crazy. All those in work desperately overworked, those who can't work found capable anyway and forced to seek jobs that aren't there. Sigh...