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Think this really is depression. Now what?(15 Posts)
Oh poor you. First off, I'm sure all of this is fixable in the long run. Don't be scared of ADs. If someone has severe back pain due to putting themselves under physical strain, you'd expect them to take anti-inflammatories and pain killers as well as going to physio / reassessing the causes of the physical strain. So it is no different with mental health strain.
Is there anyone at work you can talk to - HR, occupational health team - to work out why you are having problems at work and what can be done to fix them? Your employers should be told that your current work situation is making you ill, they have a duty to help you fix that.
Are you in a trade union? Maybe they could help. There must be someone neutral. Basically, if you are so unhappy that you can no longer do your job well, it's in their interests to help you sort it. Maybe you can stress that angle, say that you don't want to get into recriminations or complaints or whatever, but you need to find a way of fulfilling your responsibilities effectively and want to work with them to achieve this.
Then once that cuts you a bit of slack, you might be in a better headspace to feel confident about looking elsewhere, or to decide that actually you can stay there after all.
If there are issues at work, it is surely better to try to lance the boil and prove to everyone you want to do your job well? Easier said than done I know, but you already know you must face up to the problems rather than hiding in booze and comfort eating. You've taken one step - getting the GP appointment - get him/her onside to help you confront work. You might even get legitimately signed off sick for a while, which will give you concrete proof that the situation is not working for you or for your employer.
Does your company have an occupational therapist? Your HR department should list staff benefits, have a dig around.
I think you're right osg, HR depts are there for the company. Is there a possibility that you can get yourself signed off sick for a couple of weeks, to recharge your batteries, and see how you feel without the pressure of work. Incidentally I think mental health issues come under the umbrella of the Disability Discrimation Act (not 100% sure but read it somewhere recently) but you could probably find out on google.
As others have said there is no need to be afraid of ADs - they are a life line for many people (including myself) though sometimes you have to try a couple or so to find the right one for you. Unfortunately they react very differently on individuals, and that can make it difficult to find the right one for you but most people improve with the first one prescribed.
As far as CBT is concerned - you don't need to do anything specific, it's about trying to see things in a more balanced way than getting into a negative thought spiral, which affects behaviour, which affects mood. To be honest it all sounds very logical to me when I am feeling ok but when the setbacks come (as they do every few weeks) I find it harder to put the theory into practice.
When I read your post I was reminded of a book someone loaned me called "Depression - the curse of the strong" - sorry forgot the author, but if you put the title into Amazon it will be on there for under a tenner. It was written by a psychiatrist and I think you mind find it helpful.
Sending you good wishes and hoping that you can believe you will get better but it's a slow recovery so you have to be a bit patient with yourself.
Can your company provide some help through Occupational Health - a doctor, not a therapist. Even though I had to leave work through work-related stress, I did find the OH professionals they had to be quite helpful.
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