How do you cope in the gap...

[purplepidjincantatem]

...between realising the Dr can't help and waiting for the counselling to work? How do you keep going every day through the tears and crushing exhaustion?

[madmouse]

From my own experience: By keeping breathing one day hour minute at a time and do what you can to keep going.

I had a song on repeat in the car to stop me going completely over the edge.

Are you down to your last ray of hope
Well they say that's the moment things turn around
Don't you give up the fight you can cope
You can be so amazingly strong
And you can't let go
You have come so far

And I know that it's been rough
But your patience has to pay
And it can't be soon enough
And if I could have my way
I would change your world

I'd change it right away

(Martyn Joseph)

It reminded me of the friends who were willing me to keep going and that I had something to live for (ds).

[purplepidjincantatem]

Thanks. I'm in that place where every step takes me further down, but I have a mortgage to pay while I wait to get better.

[madmouse]

So have you started counselling? And the doctor can't help as in medication doesn't work?

[purplepidjincantatem]

Yes and yes. Saw dr this morning, basically this counselling service is my only chance before i get into psych's and the real serious stuff. All i really want is to go to work and not be crying with sheer exhaustion at the mere thought. DP deserves a gf that he can have a laugh with, not a whinging mess. I've arranged to go part time at work because i'm not coping, but i need to bridge the financial gap by making a success of my sewing business. So far in my 3 days off (ends today) i've done precisely fuck all towards that, and minimal housework. When do I start getting better?

[madmouse]

That depends on what type of counselling and what for. I felt significantly worse for a while but I was digging deep into a very painful past. Had to be done and was worth it. Other types of counselling may help much quicker. If it is too overwhelming you can discuss with your counsellor how to take it down a peg.

[purplepidjincantatem]

So far I've had 18months of various different anti-d's and this is my third dose of counselling. I'm a people-pleaser, so tend to give the answers I think the therapist wants to hear (especially when it came to NLP which just bemused me! I couldn't help myself making stuff up just to avoid telling the therapist what a twat she looked ) which I have warned the latest lady about not as green as cabbage looking

Next, second, appointment is a week tomorrow. In the mean time, I've got job to do, a youth music festival to run, a house to clean, a partner to look after (he's been awesome, definitely deserves some "nice" pidj for once) and a business to start up. Argh!!!

Thank you, btw, i need the ranting

[midnightservant]

FWIW, my suggestions. Don't clean the house. You and DP look after each other. Do your job, run the festival (do tell more, sounds interesting) and have the business in the back of your mind, while not actually doing anything about it till the festival is over. Doing your job and running the festival will give you more ideas about how your business will fit in with everything as you get it up and running.

Drinking tea with milk no sugar, as usual. Cheers.

[purplepidjincantatem]

Unfortunately control of my surroundings links directly to my state of mind and we're running out of plates

I'm a youth worker on a music project, every year the bands play in a marquee in the park next to the club. We do a bbq, face painting, connexions and sexual health stalls, skate ramp, it's incredible. I've made 50m of bunting and have another 50 to go! (The kids made the flags I'm sewing them onto binding)

I work in care, its not easy to battle through when other people need you to keep them cheerful