I have suffered with anxiety since DS was born 2 years ago. Much of it was post-natal but I have always been a nervous worrisome person - although the feelings felt "real" after DS - like every day or situation could be life or death. Last year DS started having wheezing episodes and since then I have been petrified that he'll die. I have dreams that he is in danger and I can't get to him - funnily enough, they don't involve his asthma symptoms, but are things like drowning and that DH took him out and lost him . I also think that I might die and not see him grow up.
I did have some phone-counselling last year as I wanted to try that before I tried tablets, and whilst it worked for a while, all the old feelings are coming back. DH was also made redundant last year, which was a big strain, particularly as he's not found a job yet and although he is a brilliant dad, he barely does anything around the house despite DS being at nursery 3 days per week. I know that he must be down about not working and feel really selfish when I get pissed off with him. I work full time and he has a whole 3 days on his own yet only does the odd bit of washing and hoovering. The last time I had a whole day to myself was during my maternity leave. I feel like he's taking the piss at times, although he said he isn't and that he'll improve in the new year.
We recently also moved house and then found out that someone had got into our old house (which is still on the market), got our post and used our names to open accounts. DH "forgot" to redirect our post. I feel so tired and angry and resentful. The main reason for us moving in the first place was to start a new life away from his interfering family who lived locally (his mother and sister had basically belittled and bullied me since having DS and DH didn't do a thing to stop it until it was far too late - but that's another story)
I just feel like I have to do everything or it doesn't get done and I have so much in my head that I can't keep my anxious feelings in check anymore; sometimes I lie awake at night for hours convinced that I am having a heart attack. I feel like I'm going mad.
I've just read this back and it sounds so rambling. Thank you if you've read this.
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Mental health
I feel like I'm on the edge. Should I ask my GP to put me on anti-Ds
6 replies
BambinoBoo · 02/01/2011 15:52
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