Please help. Don't know how to make him understand

[Huskyflodynamo]

I have been on mat leave since December and am taking a year off. I am a social worker in a busy inner city hospital and was looking for another job then found out I was pregnant. Took mat leave at 30 weeks as I was very worried about stress levels affecting the baby.

The thing is, I hate my job so much that prior to becoming pregnant I was vomiting every morning because I dreaded going in. It is such a toxic environment to work in, low level bullying, impossibly high caseloads which, when you go to the manager to say you are not coping you get told to get on with it everyone is in the same boat. I had panic attacks which prevented me from having any kind of social life and generallymy life revolved around endless cases which I took home to work on so we wouldn't have any disasters. I know the situation will be exactly the same when I go back.

As time is going on and the date from me returning is getting closer, I am becoming more and more stressed, so much so that I have started vomiting again when I think about it. My dh is a doctor and said that I can quit once I have done the three months so we haven't got to pay back the maternity pay.

I can't do it.

I have said to him that I will get another job but hedoesnt listen and says that the three months wil go quickly. I was told before going on leave that I will have to go back into my old post and will not be able to ask for a transfer as the hospital team is always short staffed.

How can I make my dh understand? I feel so so ill with the stress of it all.

[Huskyflodynamo]

This prob the wrong place to post but I feel so ill. My head is so messed up thinking about it.

[lelarose]

I dont have much helpful advice but I do understand how your job could make you this stressed.

Are there any alternatives to you doing the 3 months, ie if you went back then get signed off sick with stress would that count til you are out of your 3 month obligation period and can just hand in your notice? (sorry if thats a stupid suggestion I dont know the legalities)

I do think to an extent your husband is right, it will go quicker when you can see an end to it, but if you really cant face it, are there any alternatives?