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Shaking like a leaf - anyone got some coping techniques PLEASE

51 replies

dilemma456 · 09/09/2008 11:23

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
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Feature · 09/09/2008 11:26

breathe.... in though the nose out through the mouth.

be professional, do not answer any questions ithout bossman present.

Be brave.

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BlingLovin · 09/09/2008 11:26

"off sick"? That's convenient for him isn't it? He doesn't have to tell anyone the bad news? You should talk to his boss. I am assuming that you're going to be laying off lots of people? Surely telling staff that should be the job of someone at the top?

But in meantime, basic coping mechanisms - start with some deep breathes, try to calm down. Then practise. Spend next few hours practising - your speech, your answers to questions etc. WRite them down if you haven't already. Can a colleague work with you to rehearse you? Go in as prepared as you can.

Good luck!

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oops · 09/09/2008 11:33

Message withdrawn

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annh · 09/09/2008 12:47

How sick exactly is your boss? TBH, he should be on his knees before missing a meeting like this. Does he have a boss above him who will take the meeting instead? I am assuming you are the Head of HR which is why you have ended up with this gig.

I hope you will have someone else on the platform with you, if not, is there any possiblity of getting someone up there with you? Agree with BlingLovin's ideas for coping strategies, do try to have lunch even if you don't want to. Can you make it clear at the start that as boss man is ill, you can only answer some of the questions and that the others will be referred to him.

And Good Luck!

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NappiesGalore · 09/09/2008 12:50

id def go with contacting boss's boss 'just to clarify' how much they want you to say, since the boss is off sick and you'll be doing all the work...

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onceinalifetime · 09/09/2008 12:50

Agree with deep breathes, eating lunch, getting prepared, if you can manage to have a short walk and a bit of fresh air - without having to content with protests, try and do that too.

Have you got a plan for the meeting? If not, try to keep it relatively short and to the point with a few questions at the end. I've got some tips on this sort of thing somewhere - will go and look.

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onceinalifetime · 09/09/2008 12:51

Deep breaths

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onceinalifetime · 09/09/2008 12:51

contend with protests even

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batters · 09/09/2008 12:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hippipotami · 09/09/2008 12:58

Agree with all that has been said. This is obviously a big issue, and it sounds like your boss has wimped out, leaving his deputy to do his dirty work.
Do not do it. Talk to the boss of the boss, talk to HR, talk to the MD. But do not do this. Something as important as this should go UP the chain of command, not down it.

Is your boss really off ill or is he conveniently absent making you the bearer of bad news / person the others will hate?

Talk to someone, let us know how you get on.

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poppy34 · 09/09/2008 13:03

agree wtih other strategies here esp ring boss's boss.. sounds very convenient he is sick (dunno if he is as strategic to cop out so you get the blame, prob more a simple case of wimping out)

also think of something bland you can say if asked difficult things - nothing wrong in saying "I am not sure of what policy is on that can I get back to you"

also think of something nice you can do /have after (bottle of wine, chocolate , long bath etc) -keep that in your mind

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BecauseImWorthIt · 09/09/2008 13:07

Don't do it.

You are being dumped on from a great height.

If he is sick, tell his boss or HR, as has been said.

Or postpone the meeting.

What a twat!

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BecauseImWorthIt · 09/09/2008 13:07

Don't do it.

You are being dumped on from a great height.

If he is sick, tell his boss or HR, as has been said.

Or postpone the meeting.

What a twat!

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compo · 09/09/2008 13:09

agree with BecauseI'mWorthIt

although if they are already demonstrating outside presumably they know what you are going to say?

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hippipotami · 09/09/2008 13:09

I have thought about this some more, and just want to wholeheartedly say do not do it. It is not up to you surely, it is up to your boss and his / her boss.

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OneLieIn · 09/09/2008 13:10

Agree with Because, DONT DO IT.

By the sounds of it, its not your job, postpone the meeting or go into the meeting and say we were hoping to give you some news today, but cannot because bossman is ill, so when he is back, we'll do it.

your boss is being a coward and you should not be dumped upon. It should go UP the chain, not DOWN. Speak to the MD, or better still email him and speak to him/her telling him you want him / her to do this.

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OneLieIn · 09/09/2008 13:16

Just thinking about it more, WWYD if it was your meeting? you would not expect a person working for you to handle it would you?

I repeat, go up the chain, don't do it

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onceinalifetime · 09/09/2008 13:22

I agree, the responsibility is not your and someone more senior should do it, particularly in light of the reaction there's likely to be.

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nervousal · 09/09/2008 13:25

yup - agree with the above. A meeting as serious as this should be postponed until someone senior is available to do it.

If you have to do it then just stick to the party line and let people know that boss will answer questions when they return.

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flowerybeanbag · 09/09/2008 13:25

Agree with everyone. If this would not normally be something you would do, you shouldn't do it particularly given the circumstances you describe.

If this news is not going to be well received anyway, the perception that senior management couldn't be ar$%d to send someone appropriately senior will not help matters.

Who has told you you must do it? HR are presumably involved, and I would hope would also be in attendance, what's their view?

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Megglevache · 09/09/2008 13:27

Agree don't do it.

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Twims · 09/09/2008 13:29

I hope Dilemma got hold of someone - half an hour until the meeting

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Twims · 09/09/2008 13:29

I hope Dilemma got hold of someone - half an hour until the meeting

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jamescagney · 09/09/2008 13:33

echoing Twims...FGS poor Dilemma, let us know what happens

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Twims · 09/09/2008 15:43

Have you had the meeting?

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