please help - i need to help DS write an email to his boss.

[ThatVikRinA22]

i know this sounds mad that i am saying this, DS is an adult but - but DS has aspergers, dyslexia and dyspraxia. He is at university full time, studing computer science but has a small part time job. This is now a massive problem and its causing him much anxiety and upset, but he cant afford to tell his boss to stick it.

DS is just 20, but due to his disability he acts much younger, is easily intimidated and never stands up for himself. He is actually quite vulnerable.

The job is for a local guy who is an internet marketer.
When DS started, it was just a few bits of programming for pin money. He didnt pay him anything like minimum wage. DS has no contract.

DS is a very talented programmer, and the guy he worked for began to up the ante - asking more and more of him, but never increasing the pittance of a wage he paid.
After 18 months of this DS asked if he would pay him min wage - he was paying him £250 per month, to get to min wage, he had to pay him £100 more taking his wage now to £350 a month. He works 18 hours a week for this, but often actually works more as he does quite a lot from home.

His boss came to my house and said he would not put DS under pressure and that he knew his uni work had to come first.

He has not kept to that. He has gradually increased and increased the pressure and workload, even asking DS to manage a team of programmers based in India on various projects. DS could not do that, and felt a failure until they took it off him, he has told me that the indian programmers do things differently and it doesnt fit with his coding, so he has to go through it all and change it etc etc....but his boss doesnt seem to understand this.

DS has just rung me in a massive state of anxiety because his boss and his daughter are badgering him and threatening him becuase they want something completed to sell it, (this project was DS idea incidently) they are emailing him at college, saying they have "had enough" and asking him if this is "too taxing" for him.
DS says this was meant to be a practice version so there will be mistakes in it, but he says he can fix them. He has asked his bosses daughter to run it and give him feedback - but they seem annoyed that it has some bugs and issues that he needs to fix. He clams up when they get angry and cant explain himself or defend his position.

i am sat on my hands, resisting the urge to send an email on DS behalf.

DS has not told them of his disability for fear they would let him go. He has only just told me that.

When DS gets home after uni tonight, we need to compose an email to his boss, what is the best way to go about this? Should i step in now and let the email come from me?
or is it best if it appears to come from DS himself?

i am so fed up of them using him like this. They are paying an college kid, with no prior job experience, he isnt a professional programmer, and they are paying him peanuts, and expecting perfection. I also think that DS now needs to tell them that he has these disabilities and that they are making him very anxious.

This was meant to be a little part time pin money programming job, and its morphed into something ridiculous. I really feel i need to step in.
Should i?

[Mandyville]

What's your DS's ideal outcome? Will telling them about his disabilities help? They are obviously operating at the sharp end (and therefore won't have HR policies for complying with the Equalities Act etc.)... If he has trouble standing up for himself in person, can he do it in an e-mail? He must know he's risking his job by standing up for himself, of course... Might not be a bad thing, either. His uni may be able to put him in touch with a more reputable employer.

It seems to me that the e-mail should come from him, should state his position (e.g. "I am available for 18 hours work per week and my rate is X. My estimate for the time needed to complete Y project is a further 18 hours for the beta version, plus 18 hours testing. Additional hours will no doubt be required post-testing but I am not in a position to estimate those hours at this time." etc etc). The more I think about it, the less I think that telling them about his disabilities will help. He's not going to sue them for failing to make a reasonable adjustment (e.g. managing him mostly by e-mail) is he?

[GooseyLoosey]

I would consider what he is getting out of this job. Is the boss likely to provide him with a reference when he goes for future work? If not, he could earn the pin money in other less stressful ways?

Good programmers are not that easy to find - not genuinely talented ones with ideas. Get your son to look around elsewhere and see if he can find something else. From what you have said about this jub, not sure he will ever be able to make it work now.

[Hassled]

Yes, step in. And be firm - regardless of your DS's additional needs, they are taking the piss in a massive way and they must know that.

Just say something like "I am writing on behalf of DS to clarify the working arrangements you have with him. Having reviewed his university workload, DS will now only be available to work between the hours of X and Y on X days, and will expect to be paid at minimum wage (if I were you I'd add a couple of quid an hour to that), i.e. £X per week. He will be unable to provide any overtime hours. If these terms are acceptable, we would be grateful if you could forward a standard contract of employment."

[flowery]

Don't 'step in' and write from you. By all means draft something for him to send, and get help with it, depending on what outcome he is looking for. But don't do it from you.

He can't demand a pay rise (he is now getting min wage I think you said?) or suddenly change when he is available to work or anything like that. But he should clarify what the current existing arrangements already are and request a contract reflecting that.

And he should look for another job.

[fuzzpig]

I think you've posted about this before, I recognise the situation :(

Sorry you and he are still going through this. I'm astounded the employer hasn't been told about his disability though - must've been a shock to you as you've only just found out.

Problem is he's been there a while now - do you think they'll actually believe it, or is it going to be a case of them being a bit and wondering why you're only telling him this late in the day?

I don't know, they sound horrible, and not that likely to be sympathetic or understanding given their track record are they :(

I don't know anything about employment law etc but is this job 'legit' as in payslips etc? Would you be able to take this further if they are discriminating against DS? If it is just one guy paying your DS in cash/cheque whenever he feels like it, it'll be more difficult (bitter experience twice).

It seems such a shame but maybe it'd be time to cut his losses and leave? I don't know :(

[HallelujahHeisBorntoMary]

Have you considered contacting the NAS, they have an employment division called Prospects, who may be able to advise you?

[jeee]

I am sure that I would step in for my NT children in this situation - I think that you are more than justified in helping your son. 20 year olds are still very young (whatever they think), and often want their parents to sort out problems. I know my parents stepped in when my 20 year old sister had a problem at university.

Mind you, the 'employers' sound dodgy and bullying, and your son might well be better off out of it.

[ThatVikRinA22]

thanks for the quick replies.

he actually gets about £8 less than minimum wage per month

he doesnt want a pay rise, but the stress that this is causing him is really upsetting to see and he cant manage. He also does not want to lose the job.

They altered the goal posts last month and actually had him going to their offices to work, instead of from home.

he doesnt mind that, but then he gets all these emails suggesting that its too taxing!

what am i saying - they have altered the goal posts all the way from day 1.

he says his boss doesnt seem to understand how programmers work. The fact is he is not a professional, yet they want perfection. This is not the only thing he has to worry about - he has assignments for uni to do.

His boss has said that after uni, he would employ him full time at £20,000 per annum, but again its all full of ifs and buts.

they seem to me to be taking advantage of him.

[ThatVikRinA22]

yes ive posted before, but DS wasnt keen for me to rock the boat. Now though i think he is getting so stressed that something really needs to be done.

[flowery]

Good grief jeee I would have been beyond embarrassed if my parents had made any attempts to 'step in' and sort out my problems at 20. Takes all sorts I guess.

In OPs case he does need a bit of help, absolutely, as much as the OP is able to give, but ultimately email should be signed from him, not from OP.

[Sazzy32]

hard situation really.
There is no contract and he is not paid minimum wage - both completly ILLEAGAL.
Your son prob should have disclosed his disabilities however there are laws in place meaning that they cannot discriminate on those grounds. The difficulty is with no contract he has less rights.
Personally i think i would first request a contract, with the correct start date on it and at least NMW, point out that failure to do this is breaking the law.

Once you have that he can inform them of his disibilites and they have to asses and make reasnoble changes if needed, which in this case could mean taking the pressure off a bit.

I work in HR so deal with all of this, so if you want a hand to word something please PM me

Hope this helps a bit

[Thistledew]

The email or letter needs to come from him, but by all means help him with it.

Firstly, he needs to set out a clear, step by step factual summary of the work he has done on this particular project, and why his employers expectations have been problematic/ not possible to fulfil.

Secondly, he needs to clearly set out step by step what he thinks needs doing to complete the project, and how long he estimates it will take.

Thirdly, if he is still getting paid below minimum wage, this is unlawful. Who is paying his tax and NI? If his employer isn't, they are breaking the law on this as well. There is some useful info on the HMRC website about when someone is employed or self employed, but basically, if he is expected to so work set by his employer in a set way, using their equipment and for set hours, he is employed, and they should pay his tax and NI.

He needs to tackle the wage issue. He needs to say that he has been advised (don't need to mention by MN) that the current working arrangements are unlawful, and that they should either pay him more, or he will have to cut down his hours to match the pay.

Just because he has some learning disabilities does not mean he should put up with less pay. He is either capable of the job or he is not.

Fourthly, he should keep a record of the hours he works per week, and get his boss to agree this each week.

[suzikettles]

Hmm. Do you think his boss really doesn't know, or suspect, about his disability? I've read your previous posts on this and it seems to me that the boss is taking huge advantage of someone who is very vulnerable (and I'm fairly certain is trying it on because he knows he's vulnerable).

It doesn't sound like a very good idea for your ds to work for this sort of person after University. I guess with his disability the familiar might seem very attractive, but it sounds like your ds is highly skilled and may well sell himself short - I'd be worried about the influence this man may have over him in the long term tbh.

[Sazzy32]

Oh and also i would advise him to look elsewhere following uni, a job with this company sounds like it will not end well

[ThatVikRinA22]

he doesnt work for a company. its just one man and his daughter. There is no company as such.

[Sazzy32]

if they are empoying people then they have to abide by certain rules.

Personally i think i would tell him to move on as this senerio rarely ends well

[ThatVikRinA22]

oh and thank you to eveyone offering help via pm....i may well take you up on it!

going to draft an email now, then await DS to see what he thinks.

My only problem with doing this from DS is that he will cave if they start to ask him about it.....
i thought they would be less inclined to phone me up and complain at me! (because i can complain back....DS doesnt. he just cries. )

[ThatVikRinA22]

i think, when he has finished at uni, he will move on and get a "proper" job, but this is just to help make ends meet for him through uni.

He wouldnt cope with a "normal" saturday job or anything, so this seemed ideal for him to make a bit of pin money to help finance him through uni....but its not quite working for him as it is now.

[ThatVikRinA22]

oh, it is a company. still just a one man band really but just spoke to ds.

we will draft and email when he gets home. On the plus side this might help him with his 3rd year uni - he is wanting to transfer to a different course and the tutor has said that if he can prove he already has the skills it will go in his favour - so he told them he as a job as a programmer already, tutor says that should help him.

i need to really see these emails he has been sent i guess before i help him draft a reply. thanks again.

[ThatVikRinA22]

Me again.....

DS has asked that i send this email from me, as he says he has sent several emails to the same affect that fall on deaf ears.

he is prepared to lose the job if it all goes tits up.

[fuzzpig]

Oh bless him :(

I wonder if the CAB would help?

[sillymillyb]

Ah bless you and your son vicar my brother has aspergers and is also a programmer (who is often taken advantage of....) so I can relate to a lot of what you say. I def think it's time to step in, but have no practical advice to add, other than I hope it goes well.

[KatieMiddleton]

that sounds a dreadful situation. Your DS sounds like he's being exploited. I can absolutely understand why you feel you need to do something. What and how you do it needs some careful thought.

If he is not being paid nmw his employer is acting illegally and your DS will be due backpay. Just because there is no written contract does not mean there isn't a contract. Does your DS get holiday pay? Is his tax and NI being paid?

Tbh if he's only in this job for the money I suggest he looks for something else and then claims for back pay of nmw via an employment tribunal. If he's been there a whole there will be enough money to tide him over and he can stay working for them if he wishes (although once the et1 form is lodged I doubt they'll make his life very pleasant). You can support him through that process and finding another job.

Is there also a discrimination aspect to this? Are they treating him this way because of his Aspergers? Not sure how you'd prove that but something is very wrong.