Making Christmas special for FIL in care home

[AndromedaPerseus]

FIL has just moved into a care home after discharge from hospital. We will be visiting him on xmas day and Boxing Day. Any tips on ensuring it still feels like Christmas with his family around him. It will be the first time the grandchildren would have seen him in the home. Useful present ideas appreciated

[MereDintofPandiculation]

Does he have dementia, or is he just frail?

I would expect that the care home will try to make it feel Christmassy. I've taken a mini-Christmas tree into my father's room, and am making sure that he gets all his Christmas cards. Have also helped him write his cards and choose presents to give to family.

How many of your family will be going in together? Is there enough space in his room for you all? Can you ask the home if they have another room where you can all meet? How long will you stay? - do you need to take some quiet games to pass the time?

Presents that I've considered for him - sweets (not biscuits as he has an ample supply of biscuits and cakes from the home), slippers, a noticeboard so letters and pictures can be pinned on to it, subscription to his favourite magazine, an album of photographs from his earlier life, an easy-to-switch on torch as he has difficulty with his bedside light in the middle of the night, a magnifying glass to aid reading.

[helpfulperson]

From experience the home will definitely make it christmassy. Pre lunch whisky and sherry were the order of the day where Dad was. It was also the one day when family were invited to stay for dinner in the dining room so that might be an option.

My dad really liked that people sent him cards to the care home although its maybe a bit late for that. I think it made him feel this this was permanent and secure.

A few familiar decorations in the room is also nice. The main dining area and lounge wad always full of decorations the activity coordinator had made with residents.

[Hoghgyni]

Reading this with interest. My MiL moved into a care home a few weeks ago after many long stays in hospital. FiL is still in the family home, but incredibly frail himself. It's impossible for us to visit on Christmas Day, but we are going to see them both on Christmas Eve. My BiL with be able to visit on Christmas Day if the weather holds up. He is staying with FIL. MIL is refusing to leave her room & won't eat or socialise with others.

[Rinsefirst]

Useful ...
-a decent lamp - maybe touch one

• a rug / throw
  
• washable shoes like Skechers
  

-a folding guest chair - like an ikea kitchen chair which can slip in beside wardrobe

• a set of boxes for on top of wardrobes for extra space

[JaceLancs]

Dad was newly in nursing home last Xmas
We Xmas decorated his room
Took in cards and read them to him
He wasn’t able to eat much but took in treat soft foods
Presents included - slippers, soft easy access clothing, portable DVD player, pictures, family photos, soft blankets and cushions, books, games to stimulate his brain (following stroke) hyacinth bulbs, Xmas plants
We all visited in morning and opened presents together
DM stayed for Xmas lunch
I returned with DS in evening - however he was taken ill and we ended up with him in A n E later that night (discharged on NYE)
Sadly Dad died in October and this Xmas will be hard but am glad we did best we could last year
Hope it works out well for you all

[Hoghgyni]

Jace Christmas will be different again for you this year, but last year must have been so hard.

We have put a bowl of hyacinths in her room along with a tiny real Christmas tree (I'm sure the staff will hate us for needle drop, but artificial trees are one of her red lines). I have bought her a beautiful soft cotton blanket from FIL. We have got a photo frame for a picture of her & FiL along with photo calendars of the grandchildren for both of them.

Seasalt started to do easy access clothing in their range last year. I'm not sure whether they are still doing a few bits & bobs.

[AndromedaPerseus]

Thanks for the suggestions all appreciated. He has early onset dementia but still quite with it. His lack of mobility means he can’t be looked after at home and it’s all happened very quickly. The doc saw him at October half term when he was still well and at home.

[AndromedaPerseus]

Not doc but dgc

[TheSandgroper]

I found that seasonal helium balloons were a good gift. They can be tied to the end of the bed and thrown out later. No clutter to find a home for.

They cheer a room immensely and the staff always said that they loved them, too.

[AndromedaPerseus]

Thanks Sandgroper one seasonal helium balloon purchased

[Hoghgyni]

Well the care home looked lovely today. MiL had forgotten that it was Christmas Eve and tried to convince us to take her home, but it did mean that DD was able to catch up on the contents of the advent calendar we had sent her. We gave her a photo frame for a lovely family photo from when she was well, a reed fragrance diffuser and a photo calendar for 2020. There is a large parcel for her to open tomorrow with a big blanket in from FIL. She is refusing together out of bed, so Christmas lunch is likely to be a lonely affair tomorrow.

[AndromedaPerseus]

Update we visited FIL on xmas day and Boxing Day he seemed well and was happy to see us. We took him presents of his favourite sweets, a framed photo of All the gdcs, a xmas tree and seasonal helium balloon for his room. On Boxing Day We took a nostalgic board game to play which he enjoyed and gave the gdcs a focus to include him in the conversation.

[Hoghgyni]

It sounds as though you all had a special time.

[AndromedaPerseus]

Thanks Hoghgyni I was apprehensive about visiting beforehand with the dcs but it was much better than I expected. The care home was very nice and I could see FIL was well cared for and the staff were lovely.

[Hoghgyni]

The Christmas tree at Mils was definitely more impressive than ours! My DBIL was able to visit on Christmas day and found DMiL in her chair by the window, which was a definite improvement, but she still regusesvto go to the restaurant. It would have been grim to find her eating Christmas dinner in bed all alone. I have nothing but praise for all the staff, including those behind the scenes, who give up their Christmas and family time to care for our families.