DD1 is in Year 2 at a primary school DH and I dislike, and has been offered a place for Year 3 at a local prep which we love and applied to almost on a whim, to see if she could get in. DD2 won't start school until September 2018. DH and I cannot afford the fees at the school DD1 has been offered.
SIL has offered to pay 100% of the fees for DD1, and any fees for DD2 at whatever pre-prep we choose, continuing for both kids until they finish school. That leaves us paying for uniform, meals, extra curriculars, trips, and transport (I think that's it?) which DH and I believe is doable. In return, she'd like to be able to have dinner with us every couple of weeks, and 'offer opinions on educational choices' . It's all feeling very Gilmore Girls.
Obviously we're very grateful to her, and DH can't seem to see any negatives. He and SIL were very close growing up, she comes by every couple of months, and my DDs adore her. I'm worried about whether she will deliver what she says - she is a hospital doctor hoping to make consultant in a few years time - what if she doesn't so presumably doesn't get the extra money she is hoping for? She's currently single and not planning on having children, but what if that changes? If she stops paying fees, we don't have any way of making up the shortfall. I'm also a bit doubtful about the 'offering opinions' thing, although I will say that she is a lot more intelligent and educated than DH and me, I don't want her to say things like 'go to XXX school or I'll stop paying fees' or 'do XXX gcses or I'll stop paying fees'.
DH thinks I'm being mad and unfair, and to be fair to her SIL has no track record of weird or controlling behaviour. I've known her (although never been close) since she was 17, and she's always said that education is one of the most important things you ever give a child. On the one hand I think there's so many ways that this can go wrong, but on the other hand it feels like I would be mad to let the opportunity go. Any advice?
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Fees - what would you do?
42 replies
notsayinganything · 17/02/2017 11:40
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