Son age 4 too early for school. Please help me.

[alisonrose]

I am becoming increasingly frustrated with the primary school admissions criteria in this country. My son is an August baby and will be due to start school 2008. I DO NOT want him to start at age four. I see friends who have had their summer boys start school and they have struggled and some have continued to play "catch up" well into secondary education. The head teacher is sympathetic but has told me that the LEA will not allow him to start in reception at age 5 and he will be expected to go straight in to Year 1. I have read books and articles on this subject and it has made me even more determined to delay him. The LEA do offer to let him start later in the year ie January or after Easter but what is the point in that? He misses chunks of his first year and arrives into an already established year group Where do I go from here? I'm at my wits end with this. The only option I see is to try the private sector. Do I write to my MP? Do I set a legal challenge?!!! Please help.

[FrannyandZooey]

Oh how rotten for you. I don't have the answer, sorry, but I just wanted to say I totally agree with you about 4 years old being too young for many (most?) children to begin formal schooling.

We are planning to home educate until such time as we feel ds would be better off in school. Is this an option for you to consider? An older child may be able to adjust better to the drawbacks that you mention of coming into an established group with a higher level of work. Home educated children tend to compare well academically to their schooled peers, and can adjust to the school system when and if they and their parents feel they are ready.

[starlover]

fwiw i was an august baby (28th) and started school the next easter.. i loved it and never had to play catch up

[starlover]

I would wait til nearer the time before making any decisions.... sept 2008 is a long time away and your son will have changed a lot

[alisonrose]

Thank you for your support. Home education has been a thought for us. I have a good friend who is home educating her FIVE daughters and they are the most well adjusted children I know. However, my two daughters already go to this village school which has a strong sense of community and I just feel that I want him to go too. I will not rule out H.E. option Thank you.

[brimfull]

Myt ds is a sept baby and I am grateful for that so know what you mean.

I think the school admission age is way too young especially for some kids.Boys especially.

I really think it should be up to the parents when their child starts reception.Wish it would change .Good for you if you go farther with this.Do Private schools let you put them in recption later then.

No answer for you nut a lot of sympathy.Also agree 2008 is a wee while yet so you don't need to panic.Children to change a lot.My ds os due to start in 2007 and he's be ready socailly to start in 2006 but not educationally.

[KBear]

I don't have an answer for you but I would try to speak to a reception year teacher if you can. From my experience at DD's school, I think they put a lot of effort into making reception year a gentle introduction to school life with some segregation from the yr1 and yr2 and the receptions are treated very similar to the nursery children.

This might put your mind at rest. In my borough they don't have to start until they are five but the LEA allows them to start at 4. So I guess they could effectively skip reception year but in missing that I think they would miss out on a lot of "groundwork" and like you say, starting school in Yr 1 when everyone else started in reception could cause it's own problems.

My DS is starting school in Sept but he's a Sept birthday so he'll be one of the eldest there. Heartstrings pinging wildly nevertheless - he's my baby!

Interesting debate with no real answers I don't think.

[MaggieT]

PLease don't rule out him starting with the others in the September. As Starlover says, you will not believe how much they change in the 6 months leading up to school. Some of the Aug born kids in my ds's reception class are among the happiest and most comfortable at school.
Why don't you talk to the school about starting part time? Then he keeps his place, gets to know the other kids and settles in?

[Furball]

I am in the same boat and so are many others here. My ds started reception last September at 4 and 3 weeks. Already by the end of October 5 or 6 children were turning 5. Unfortunately it is just one of those things. Teachers deal with it every year so should be quite used to dealing with the situation, talk to him/her nearer the time and see what their strategy is. Your ds may surprise you though. My ds is way further than the others in reading and numbers which gives me more confidence that yes he personally was ready for school, it was actually my fears that would of wanted to hold him back, when he in fact he was ready. He's actually the second youngest in the class, one girl is August 30th!

[jessicaandrebeccasmummy]

You are in exactly the same position as me - Jess is a July 24th Birthday so would be due to start reception September 2008 as well.

Im not happy with it either, and want to hold out until September 2009 but she would have to go into year 1.... its an awful situation.

[bluebear]

My ds was 4 at the end of July - I was worried about how he would cope with going to reception, but I asked my godmother who was a primary school teacher and she said she had never seen a case where a child was better off for having deferred a year.
Some of our local schools allow children in reception to attend part-time, as long as the parent discusses it with the head (at one local school part-time for at least the first 2 terms is positively encouraged!)
As others have mentioned, the reception year is very easy going and nursery-like.
My son started school last september and is doing fine - certainly not needing to do any catching up with the older children.

[Calista]

My ds2 is due to start school in Sept 2007. As his birthday is August 28th he will have been 4 for about a week :(

Like others we have worried lots recently over whether he will be ready or not. Most children who go to the school he'll be attending start in the nursery class, so he'll be starting there this September when he's just turned 3.
Obviously the good point of this is that he'll know most of his classmates when he starts school and will have had a good 'grounding' in school life. The nursery class spend some time over at the school joining in with the odd things so he'll be a bit more familiar with it. And ds1 is currently attending the nursery class so we know what's to come.

A friend who's a reception teacher says that she can tell the difference in various ways with the late summer-born children, but by the end of reception the difference is hardly noticeable.

Fortunately ds2 at 2.6 is very bright and sociable, with really good speech (very different from ds1 at that age), so I am fairly confident he will be fine. I think!

[tortoiseshell]

Ds is a june birthday, and I thought he would find it really really tough, but he loves it. His teacher is very aware that he is a summer baby, and I think she and the teaching assistant look out a bit more for the little ones.

I wouldn't advise him missing reception, as ds has learnt SO much so far in reception - he's reading, writing, and socially he's come on so far.

Interestingly, dd is an August baby, and I am SO glad she isn't over into the September intake, because it seems she will be SO ready to start in a year and a half - she is desperate to go now, and in many ways is more confident than her brother!

[seb1]

We have the following set up in Scotland don't you have similar down south

\link{http://www.parentzonescotland.gov.uk/topics/choosingaschool/educsysteminscotland.asp\starting school}

[Blu]

DS is young in his year - a mid-july baby, but a january intake is the norm in our LEA, so he started with half his class in January. 6 months ago I was still horrified that he was to be starting school, and thought he was too young. But as January approached, there was a big change in his whole outlook on life and he distincly grew up. By the time he started, he was ready, and i have been impressed with the way the reception teacher - and in fact the whole school - work aound the fact that reception children are very young and will have different needs, amongst them.

I do agree with you though, that there ought to be flexibility if you really don't think they are ready - and i sympathise. But wait and see.

Is there a Steiner school nearby, if you are laothe to put him straight into the National Curriculum ?

[Twiglett]

does the school only have one intake .. can you find a primary school that has a jan intake? (our school has 2 reception classes with the cut-off being an April birthday for Sept admission, all other children start in jan)

[alisonrose]

Thank you everyone for your advice so far.

[crazydazy]

DS will be 4 in May and will start at school in September, I too am worried about him starting school as he has a delay in speech and his teacher has told me that his concentration span is quite selective! The good thing about our school is that they don't have nursery and reception any more, it is now called Foundation Stage and they are all taught within the same area but within different groups so although DS will start "proper school" in September he will still be playing and learning in the same area he's in now.

The change was made to counteract the problem of children being behind. This was introduced for last year's intake. Had it been the year before it would have been DD's year (she's in Year 1 atm) I think I would have been disappointed as she has been quite ahead in terms of reading and writing and would have felt she had been "cheated" out of experiencing "proper school" whereas with DS I think its a good idea.

[LIZS]

dd is late August b'day and has been fine. She went full time at just 4 last September. I may well have been more concenred if she hadn't been my second and had been a boy though. Yes some "younger" boys are less mature and ready but equally so are some older boys as there is a real range unrelated to age. tbh I think you are jumping the gun a bit, presumably he is still only 1, but would go for a phased introduction atm, since a good school would ensure he integrated properly and he may not be the only one. Otherwise I think you are looking at trying to get a Special Needs statement or medical opinions to convince the LEA to delay his start and enter at Reception rather than year 1.

[rummum]

I'd have a word with the reception teacher... (mind you they will probably change 4 times before he starts in 2008) Does he have to go full time or can he go part time to settle him in. Does he go to a day nursery or pre-school now, if so how does he enjoy it?
The reception nowdays do lots of learning through play.

[singersgirl]

Are you really sure you need to worry? I agree that four is very young, but it is by no means a disaster for all summer-born boys. Some boys may not be ready, but your boy may be; he will be unrecognisable in many ways by 2008.

I have two August born boys (15th and 31st!) in Y3 and YR. Both have been FINE, if a little tired at first. They have coped both socially and academically.

DS2, who started in September having squeaked into this year by a few hours, is honestly doing brilliantly - amongst the best readers and writers in his class, making new friends every week, loving every minue of it. He has a couple of August-born friends, both boys, who are also doing well academically and are happy and confident.

You will know nearer the time what is best for you son, but plenty of summer-born children thrive on their early start. (I was another one, but I'm a girl.....)

[Sparklemagic]

Alisonrose, your post echoes my thoughts so exactly! My DS is August born and will start reception this September. I have always worried that he won't be ready and I hate the fact that the system is so inflexible.

He is verbally like a child a couple of years older, which I know will help him, but in lots of ways he's still a toddler - he just doesn't want to dress himself for instance no matter how I try to encourage him. And he isn;t brilliant with a knife and fork at all!

I know people say they adapt and learn pretty quick but why should there be this hurry? It wouldn't harm him to have one more year first!

I have read on MN one post that haunts me, from a mum whose summer born son started in reception and really went downhill, his confidence took a blow that she felt he has still not recovered from. None of us wants that for our kids obviously!

If it helps Alisonrose, my approach is going to be to bear in mind that legally children do not have to take up education until the start of the term FOLLOWING their 5th birthday - so my DS shall start part-time, and although locally the accepted way is for them to go full time from January, if I feel that he isn't ready then I'll just keep him part time for as long as it takes. That way, I figure that he gets to be part of the reception year but still has a more 'preschool' type level of schooling and legally I don't think anyone could have a problem with this as it's not a legal requirement for him to be at school anyway!!

Here's hoping our DS's are fine with it all and we're worrying for nothing.

[Littlefish]

Alisonrose - have you discussed the possiblity of your ds going part time? The last school I worked in had a flexible policy where children could go part time until at least Christmas (mornings only usually) and I know of one or two children who continued with part-time until Easter (as both the parents and teacher thought this was more appropriate). Of course, it all depends on the intake policy of the school, but it might be worth having the conversation.

Can I also echo some of the other's thoughts that Reception is now very play and exploration based and should be seen as a continuation of nursery, which gradually gains a little more structure as the year progresses.

[Littlefish]

others' not other's!

[Littlefish]

others' not other's!