Have I been raped?

[sacav]

Good morning I'll try keeping this short as possible. It's my first post so please bear with me.
my ex who currently still lives with me in the spare room till he's money to leave. Spoke to him Friday told him it's a definite we aren't getting back together he was mentally emotionally and at some points verbally abusive. He's a narcissist who sees no wrong in what he's done and blames the lot on me. Fine whatever I lost my mum last year and I literally have nobody here but my child so Ive now found myself here.
I'm broken 😩 and it's destoryed me but I'm also terrified. When I'm asleep I am asleep and a earthquake can happen to a certain extent and I won't wake. I've hardly been sleeping and been having nightmares when I have. Actually crashed Friday late on and was woken up to my ex on top of me in my bed having sex with me 😭. I actually can't even believe it I'm broken and I can't even believe this is. He's raped me hasn't he? Am I over reacting. I'm distraught and don't know what to do I'm just not strong anymore I'm worn out and can't do this anymore.
Please no hate I can't take anymore crap
Xx

[TheJoxter]

Definitely rape. Report to police. Make him leave.

[dementedpixie]

Of course he has. So sorry you are having a shit time. You should report him and get him to leave

[Idroppedthescrewinthetuna]

No no no you are bot over reacting at all.
I am sorry to say though that it was rape.
Please report to police and get him out of your home.

[Idroppedthescrewinthetuna]

*not

[DerbyshireGirly]

I'm so sorry OP. He raped you. I understand how hard it is to come to terms with the fact someone has done that to you. It doesn't seem possible. But this is all his fault and all his choice - you did nothing to invite it and there is no way of justifying it.

[FlaskMaster]

Report it to the police and change the locks while he's arrested. Put all his stuff out of the house.

[BuffaloCauliflower]

Yes it’s rape, I’m so sorry, please go to the police x

[Newyeardietstartstomorrow]

Phone the police and change your locks, immediately.

[Helini]

You didn't give consent. You were raped.

Please report him to the police.

OP, and in fact, everyone - if you're not sure on what consent is, please watch his video:

[closetoptimist]

This happened to me, albeit many years ago. I woke to find my (much older ) boyfriend penetrating me. This is rape. You did not consent to sex as you were sleeping. Leave him as soon as possible. He's not just a Narc, he's dangerous if he thinks this is reasonable behaviour. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

[Quartz2208]

Get him out of the house now by calling the police. Change the locks and never have him back. You are not responsible for him

[SnorkMaiden81]

He absolutely has. How did you react? I'd have hit the fucking roof!!!

[PlanDeRaccordement]

Not over reacting. That was rape.
Report to the police right away.
Get in touch with Rape Crisis UK for help
rapecrisis.org.uk/get-help/

Just know it’s not your fault in any way and you may feel broken now, but you can survive this.

[ineedto]

Yes you have. Today is the day you take the power back, call the police, change the locks, be strong x

[DerbyshireGirly]

@SnorkMaiden81 please don't ever ask a rape/sexual assault victim how they reacted

[christmasstress]

Yes, I'm so sorry.

[HorridHamble]

It is rape. You did not consent. Please report to police and contact Rape Crisis and/or Women’s Aid. You need support.

Sadly, there are many of us who have experienced similar. For me, the worst thing I did was to keep quiet. Please, please report and seek help.

[Sooverthemill]

Rape. Report it. Change the locks. Get an order to stop him coming near you

[closetoptimist]

Please call a trusted friend and tell them what has happened. You need help to get through this immediate aftermath. Sending you strength and lots of love, sweetheart .

[Greenkit]

Please please call the police, have him removed and report xx

[SnorkMaiden81]

Sorry OP it was ignorant of me to ask how you reacted to such an attack.
There is no right or wrong way.

I guess when we read something as horrible as what happened to you one of our first instincts is to imagine that scenario and how I'd react....

I hope you make yourself safe and can get the help and support you need. X

[sacav]

Thank you for the replies I've nobody close to me I lost my best friend this time last year just after losing my mum after waking to her and him drunk in my bed 😭.
I reacted how anyone would with a 11 year old in the house poker face on and carried on.
It's easy saying go the police but I am completely on my own I have nobody apart from people who are 200 miles away.
He done this in July and I was grieving so bad I didn't let it slip but I didn't report it but he got into my head, crying saying he thought when I said no I was playing hard to get. I'm in work with my poker face on and I feel like I'm dying inside I think I knew the answer but I just can't believe it. I've not spoken to him since after he asked "did you enjoy your wake up call". Is he actually serious does he not even know how serious this is or not registering what he's done doesnt he think it's wrong what he's done, I'm completely broken with nobody to lean on. Thank you for replying xxx

[SpamChaudFroid]

Not only has he raped you, he's continuing to terrorise you in your own home. From what you say, he's a sick fuck that will do this again.

Please do report to police, they will be able to remove him from your home at least?

[Hellbentwellwent]

sacav your reaction was entirely natural, you were in the middle of being assaulted you didn’t have time to process what was happening, or time to negotiate yourself out of harms way, you went straight into self preservation mode. He needs to be gone from your home, he’s abusive and you are living in an oppressive environment. Call the police, tell them you are being abused in your own home and don’t feel physically safe to ask him to leave without the back up of their presence, tell them that you need to report the rape but will only feel safe doing so once he has been removed and your home made secure.

You can do this, you will feel so much better once he’s out of you home

[Sooverthemill]

@sacav ime the police domestic violence teams are very good, Rey sympathetic and helpful. I had to contact them years ago with a previous partner and although I felt so stupid, they couldn't have been kinder.

The number of the domestic abuse hotline is 0808 2000 247. They can support you through this even though you feel alone.

And this is a list of all the help lines and centres who could offer you support. Please contact one of them