can't believe we are so skint!

[pearshape]

Our financial situation is getting worse and worse. dh is self employed but has had no proper work since before Christmas. He has been doing the same work for ten years and we have always done okay from it. I work part-time on a low wage and we do get what we are entitled to in tax credits. We have a debt management plan in place due to debts run up when dh was ill and couldn't work which we have only been able to make a token payment on for the last two months and now all creditors are calling us. We just don't have enough coming in for what's going out. I have cut back all luxuries, sold anything I could and my jewellery, including wedding ring has been pawned. We just about managed to buy food this week. I have tried so hard to be positive for the sake of our two children but I just feel like giving up now. I really thought things would pick up now we are so far into the new year but they haven't. Both myself and dh have tried to find more work but there is nothing out there at all. The only assett we have is our home which we have about £50k equity in so really don't want to go bankrupt as we would lose that as well and that is our security for the children. We are managing to meet our mortgage payments but to the detrement of other bills/debts. I really don't know why I am posting as no-one can help but I feel I'm sinking and can't talk to dh about it as he gets angry because he feels he's useless for not supporting us

[pearshape]

we are seriously looking for work but we are in an area with very high unemployment and have found nothing. We are thinking of selling our home but rent would probably be the same as the mortgage. At least we could release the equity and pay off debts by selling. Not sure we could sell it at the moment though as there are things that need doing to it that we can't afford to get done. I'm not sure the mortgage company would let us switch to interest only but I could ask. thanks for the replies by the way, really unhappy with all of this and it is affecting the way i am with the dcs. They always need things for school and we don't have anything spare, it's so tough seeing them going without

[ThatllDoPig]

Sorry you are having such a tough time.
What things do dc need for school?
Make sure they are getting free school meals, and the school can help with payment for trips and things.

[overmydeadbody]

How many rooms do you have in your house? You could rent one of the rooms out to a student for a while? That's what I did when I was really skint, I had a two bedroom house, I packed up DS's room and he moved into my room with me and we had a lovely student come and live with us for a year. It really helped.

[overmydeadbody]

I have been where you are now, I am really sorry you are going through this.


Could you increase your hours? Could your DP find some job he could do in the evenings, even if it's just pulling pints or stacking shelves?

[nickelhasababy]

what about moving to a cheaper house?
or would you loses too much doing that?

[ForeverProcrastinating]

Do try your mortgage provider first, they have systems in place to help people in difficulty but it's better that you contact them rather than just not paying. Try the CRB for help and advice too. Best of luck.

[pearshape]

I will try the mortgage provider. We can't move because we couldn't get another mortgage as we are on a debt management plan and our credit rating is ruined. That also worries me about going into rented. Most agencies credit check so we wouldn't be able to use them. We really have tried every way to earn more money. I can't believe it's like this as we have always got by. DH has never gone without work for this long. We feel as if we are stuck in a nightmare with no escape. Unfortunately we don't have room for a lodger, I wish we did. The children aren't really going without anything major but it's little things they are used to having. DD has music lessons at school that need paying that we are going to struggle with. Thanks again for taking the time to reply.

[ThatllDoPig]

Make an appt to talk to the head or deputy head about the music lessons. The school will help, when they know how difficult things are at the moment. Your dc shouldn't miss out on anything for their education. I really hope things get better for your family soon.

[petitema]

it's so shit that so many people are struggling like this. Interest only is a good idea, can you take a payment holiday...?

[TheresASpareChairOverThere]

Hi, has your husband and yourself registered with every agency in your town or nearby towns? If you could even get odd days labouring/catering/temping it would bring in a little more cash.

When myself and DH were right up against it we did get calls from agencies. If you are reliable and polite you will rapidly rise to the top of their 'to call' list.

Yes the entry wages are shit (minimum wage really) but it is better than nothing.

[TheresASpareChairOverThere]

Apols for grammar, have half an ear on the kids playing and it wrecks my writing!

[LilacWaltz]

You need to ditch the music lessons really.

[TheresASpareChairOverThere]

Oh, and explain to your DD that music lessons have to go. You must use head over heart. She will understand - DS1 was fine when we had to abandon promised things.

[petitema]

Agree music lessons and other extra activties have got to go.

[Yeahthatsnotgonnahappen]

Having accrued massive debts in the past myself I can honestly say there is everything to gain by talking to people. I buried my head in the sand which was absolutely the worst thing I could've done. After a massive wake up call from my mom, I contacted my creditors (including one phone call where the debt collection guy was so sweet as I basically just cried at him). Your mortgage company will help - the last thing they want to do is foreclose. The school may be able to help by setting up a plan for you to make smaller more manageable payments weekly/monthly.

Also go online and make sure your gas/electricity provider is competitive - swap for a better deal. Do you have both mobiles and a home phone? Silly I know but we stopped our landline because we never used (just thought that's what everyone has to have). Our Internet comes thru our virgin contract now and we have good mobile packages. It may not seem like a massive saving but everything adds up. If you have an expensive tv package and don't want to lose the landline make the change to freeview instead. Also have the most detailed budget imaginable - I can tell you exactly what comes in and out of our accounts to the penny, including running totals of food/travel etc costs - besides seeing where your money really is going, it made me feel a bit more in control.

I'm sorry you're going through this and try and remember that this will pass.

[virgil]

Where are you and what do you both do? Could your husband do odd job work or gardening or something? Can't get handymen for love nor money around here! Seems they are very much in demand.

[EssentialFattyAcid]

Can you do ironing or cleaning for a bit more money?
Or an odd few hours a day as a carer for an older person?

[pearshape]

thank you so much for your replies. I have to go and help with homework/tea at the moment but didn't want you to think I'd just gone. All of your suggestions have been really helpful. We have contacted agencies etc and it looks like dh might have a couple of nights doing some casual work so that will be really helpful. I just feel like running away at the moment and escaping it all but I'm fully aware we aren't the only ones really struggling

[EssentialFattyAcid]

Its no good paying for music lessons if you can't eat
Can you get bunk beds for the kids and then rent a room?
There may be food banks near you - this could help.

If you are prepared to do cleaning and ironing then I think you will find that there will be takers for this. Does your dh need to look at employment rather than self employment?

What area of the country are you in?

I agree on the mortgage - take a payment holiday or go interest only for a while. Check out moneysaving expert to reduce household bills, axe non essentials like internet and sky if you have it.

[jenduck]

Sorry to hear of your situation. Hope things pick up for you soon. DH is a contract worker & I am self-employed, so I understand some of what you are going through - we have had periods of a couple of months with no work, and it is scary.

I will put my thinking cap on for you, but here are a couple of ideas:

1. Grocery shopping - buy value brand everything, even meat (or cut meat out altogether). Also go to the supermarket in the evening for reduced bargains or if you have a market, visit greengrocers' stalls there at closing time, they sometimes even give away bruised fruit/veg which can be used to make soups, curries, pies etc.
   
   
2. Council tax - I think that most areas are on a payment 'holiday' for that for Feb/March (certainly we are), but when it starts up again, you can contact them & ask to pay it in 12 installments rather than 10, to spread the cost. In fact, when I contacted ours a couple of years ago because we couldn't make the payment, the lady was more than happy to put our account on hold & let us pay a month later, so shifting our payment holiday a bit later.
   
   
3. TV - nowadays it is totally possible to do without a TV licence, as you can watch any programmes you like on iplayer etc after they have been on live TV. You could play board games, tell each other stories, sing songs, all sorts of things to keep you & the kids entertained, I bet you wouldn't even notice!
   
   
4. If your DC need uniform etc for school, could you borrow from anybody with bigger DC?
   
   If things are really desperate, have you family nearby who would have you round for dinner one night a week? You could pay them by doing washing up?
   
   Definitely agree with posters who have said just talk to your creditors.
   
   Good luck with it, will pop back if I think of anything else.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

I'm going to suggest that if debts are the big problem, you should book an appointment with one of the free debt advisory services - CAB, CCCS or National Debtline. Bankruptcy is only ever a last resort and they could have some alternatives.

Second... make sure you're getting all the state help to which you are entitled. If your income has come down a lot you may be entitled to more help than you think. Sites such as Turn2Us Benefits Checker are very good.

[MayaGoldfever]

Sorry if this comes across a bit jumbled or suck-eggs-ish... just getting my thoughts down, hope some of it's helpful to you.

1. Shop at places like Home Bargains/ B & M. Much cheaper for things like tinned tomatoes, chick peas, curry paste, stir fry noodles etc. Don't get tempted by the sweets, crisps etc ;-)
   
   
2. Go vegetarian-ish. Pulses are really cheap and healthy - aloo saag with chick peas, carrot coriander & red lentil soup, split pea dhal, beans on jacket potato, lentil shepherdess pie, falafel, spaghetti bolognaise/chilli made with dried soya mince, homemade pizza with simple toppings like mushrooms and peppers etc. Dried beans are generally cheaper than tinned, even taking into account energy needed to cook. Just soak them in a bowl of water in the morning, in the evening boil rapidly for 10 mins, then simmer for the specified time. Cook up more than you need and freeze the rest, it will save the energy for cooking next time. Red lentils don't need precooking. Asian corner shops/supermarkets are usually the cheapest place to buy.
   
   
3. Cleaning - don't get those expensive sprays, jusy buy a bottle of Stardrops from HB and a pack of microfibre cloths. For window cleaning just use a mixture of cheap vinegar & water in a squirty bottle, scrunched newspaper and elbow grease. Cut washing up sponges in half - they last twice as long.
   
   
4. Have porridge for breakfast, get Tesco or Asda value range. Jazz it up with value dried fruit, sliced banana, cinnamon, apple etc. It's really filling, and you can also make flapjacks with the oats for small snacks. You can also make your own muesli too - oats, dried fruit, nuts, grated apple etc.
   
   
5. Laundry - try getting just the cheapest value powder. Use less detergent, but add a spoonful of washing soda crystals to soften the water & make detergent go further. Look out for coupons combined with special offers - sometimes you can even get paid to shop with the right combo. Use soap nuts - works out to pennies per wash. Just use a 30/40 C eco-cycle. Dry outside/ in the airing cupboard if poss rather than tumble dry. Wear clothes/use towels for an extra day if you can. Hang them up to air and they'll stay fresh a day longer.
   
   
6. Supermarket value ranges for simple ingredient foods... Rice 40p for a kilo at Tesco, carrots, onions, potatoes, tinned kidney beans, pitta bread, tea bags etc.
   
   
7. Buy yellow sticker fruit, veg and bread. Shop when they're doing clearance, usually about tea time. I never pay full price for a loaf of bread now, I usually pay about 25p for an 800g sliced loaf. Freeze what you won't use immediately. Also turn excess reduced vegetables into soup and freeze. Also check the reduced for quick sale/ discontinued items section and stock up on things you use regularly with a long shelf life.
   
   
8. //www.cheap-family-recipes.org.uk
   
   
9. Use sites like Approved Food which sell short dated/OOD food really cheaply.
   
   
10. Make a note of your meters every day, and try to get them down. Turn EVERYTHING off at the wall when not in use. All the clocks on cookers/standby lights etc add up to a lot over the year. Have navy showers (turn water off while suddsing up) or share baths. Lids on saucepans. Pour water from your usual mug into the kettle, make a mark on the side where the water level is. Strictly only fill up to here (or the minimum water mark). See if you can borrow an OWL meter from the library or a friend, they're really enlightening to see where the electric's going. Just have the heating on at background level and wear jumpers/gilets/slipper socks to keep warm.
    
    
11. Even if you just have the tiniest patch of garden, you can grow things in pots. Get buckets/large catering food containers from florists/takeaways etc and grow tomatoes/herbs/beetroot/dwarf beans etc. With a small garden you can have a few raised beds, look in the library for a book on 'Square Foot gardening', where you grow your veg in 4' x 4' grids rather than rows. With a medium/large garden or allotment, you could be semi-selfsufficient in veg. Even with just a kitchen windowsill you can grow cress, microgreens, chillies, basil etc.
    
    
12. Toiletries - only use a small quantities. You only need a pea sized amount of toothpaste (enough to froth), not the length of the toothbrush like the ads show. Likewise with facewash & shampoo, only use enough to get a froth rather than a head of foam. Use a shower puff which really cuts down on shower gel use. Only buy the supermarket own brand, or even value versions, you'll save pounds. Use solid deodorant rather than spray. The salt crystal ones you wet under the tap last an eternity.
    
    
13. Everytime you make a saving, however small e.g. £1 on a loaf of bread, put it towards paying down your debts.
    
    
14. Keep a spending diary, write down everything you spend for a month to see where your money goes.
    
    
15. Talk to your mortgage co/creditors, see if you can take a payment holiday or pay a bit less for a month or two, and really focussing your efforts on catching up.
    
    
16. Clothes - order of preference
    
    Friends
    Jumble sale
    Car boot sale
    Local independent charity shop e.g hospice, animal sanctuary
    Chain charity shop e.g Oxfam, Cancer Research
    Ebay
    Primark/ supermarket etc
    High St store
    
    
17. Ask on Freecycle for things like school uniform, furniture etc if you need them
    
    
18. Lidl/Aldi are good for basic store cupboard/freezer items, also they have cheap weekly deals on fruit & veg.
    
    
19. Take a packed lunch & thermos when you go to work/go out for the day
    
    
20. Have a small 'float' purse, say £5 - £10. Use it to build up a collection of core essential pantry/freezer items like porridge and flour when these items are on a really good special offer/ 3 for 2. Pay the savings back between your float and your debts. You're essentially investing in food you would be buying in future, but at a cheaper price, and a much better return on investment than bank savings rates. The more you save, the more 'dividend' you can put towards your debts.
    
    
21. Look on moneysavingexpert.com, especially the Old Style and Debt Free Wannabe boards