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Living again will be a shock go the system.

(49 Posts)
Iwillhavetea Sun 24-May-20 00:06:42

Can't sleep again! I nodded off and just like every night since lockdown I wake up again half an hour later. My body is all messed up. I've got kids who won't sleep until 9-10 most nights. No matter what I do the five year old isn't tired until I'm exhausted.

I'm just thinking back over the last two months. It's one big blur of lazy days and random walks. I've tried to fill it with activity to make it feel normal and happy for the kids. But I've hit a wall. I'm out of ideas. I'm tired. I'm irritated. I just can't see where things will improve.

I've choosen not to send DD back to school on June 1st. Purely because the changes are huge. It will be a totally different experience. It's also hard because I don't want her to do six weeks of this and then in September it changes again. Too much for my daughter's personality and age.

I just don't remember how to live anymore. I can't imagine being normal. Going out for a day. Taking the kids to swimming lessons and popping in the shops. Like everyone else. I've not seen my parents for two months. I've seen my best friend once on Friday. We have a milk man and shopping delivered. I have avoided shops 100% but now I don't want to go in them because it's queing and others waiting for you to hurry up.

I'm honestly filled with dread at the thought of early mornings and school runs. I'm dreading autumn and winter. All the viruses are going to be much scarier this year. Will our kids be allowed in with snotty noses this winter.

I even have been thinking of Christmas. Wondering if it will be a normal happy time.

I just worry we won't remember how to live soon.

OP’s posts: |
Kittenlicker Sun 24-May-20 00:10:22

Yep. It’s going to be tough.

Northernsoullover Sun 24-May-20 00:12:59

I have visions of screaming when I return to my dance fitness class (Sistine chapel style wink). Its the thing that make my life enjoyable that are the highest risk for transmission. Indoor activity in close contact for a length of time.
Lifting restrictions won't necessarily make my life much different for a long time and that upsets me a lot.

B1rdbra1n Sun 24-May-20 00:14:43

I concur😳
fear is very sticky 😕
I'm pretty much full on hikikomori now😳

Iwillhavetea Sun 24-May-20 00:22:09

I'm not alone then. We will all be paranoid wrecks.

Doesn't help when a business reopens and all the locals kick off on the news page. Garden centres reopening sounded great. Was going to take my kids to pick some new fish for the tank as we've lost two in lockdown. Turns out a max of two from each family can go and it's not encouraged to go as a family. I respect it. But it's not really open for enjoyment. It's open in a queue so time pressure is on.

Just can see myself struggling with everything.

I'm starting to notice everything becoming lies now too. Chris whitty said many are put down as death covid 19 but we're not tested. Then another paper today claims over 45 thousand have died from it in the uk. Then another is saying they are counting one person's test twice. Then Chris whitty says a large proportion of us won't get it or will get it mildly or without symptoms. Then they are saying 1 in 20 have had it and 1 in 6 in London already.

OP’s posts: |
PumpkinP Sun 24-May-20 00:24:18

I feel the same, I won’t be sending mine back in June either not because of the virus but all the changes. I can’t imagine things going back to normal anymore

B1rdbra1n Sun 24-May-20 00:24:59

I think to an extent it's because 'work tends to expand/contract to fill the time available'
If you've got a lot of extra time to fill it's easy to slow down, all the boundaries start to drift and blur ...

B1rdbra1n Sun 24-May-20 00:27:58

I wouldn't worry too much about the contradictory figures and statistics though, it's going to take a while for everything to be properly and thoroughly analysed and compared🤔
most of what you hear now should probably be taken as provisional🤷🏼‍♀️
(It is confusing though!🙈)

Iwillhavetea Sun 24-May-20 00:28:21


I personally think many little ones will be confused and anxious going back to it. I'm so sad for my daughter. What a rubbish first year at school. She absolutely loved school and was really finding her feet. Its sad that she won't be going back to that atmosphere in her first classroom again. I wish it hadn't been taken away from her like this. She won't see her teacher again as she was due to leave (maternity cover) also her class is 45 kids. So next year they go in with the year 2s. Theres 3 classrooms. Ones a male teacher and I really hope she doesn't get him as men scare her and it will make her loose her love of learning.

So worrying for us as parents isn't it.

OP’s posts: |
Iwillhavetea Sun 24-May-20 00:32:36


I'm a sahm but absolutely agree with you. I used to have structure. Getting up early. Getting DD to school. Coming home and spending time with the toddler doing jobs etc. Just seeing people on the school run and popping to my mum's for a coffee some days. I was doing two hours of walking each day and now I honestly feel I will struggle to do it. Even though we walk. I don't do two hours a day.

OP’s posts: |
B1rdbra1n Sun 24-May-20 00:37:12

Iwill, I've been absolutely dreadful and virtually nocturnal🦇 with the drifting body clock🙄
I hope your little girl settles in at school when it all starts up again, it's great that she loves learning😊

Paranoidmarvin Sun 24-May-20 05:37:36

Do you think there is a difference as well between people who have been working the whole time and people who have stayed indoors for two months.

I have been working the whole time , going to Tesco etc so my life has not really changed that much and it is not really upsetting me at waiting in queues etc or being near people. And I have been to a few shops that are open.

But my sister who has been locked down and not really left her house is finding it really hard with the concept of leaving the house and queuing etc as her life changed massively.

eurochick Sun 24-May-20 05:42:36

Tbh, it sounds like a return to school, although it won't be "normal" could be a very good thing for you both.

Waxonwaxoff0 Sun 24-May-20 06:10:54

Not me. I can't wait, I'll be happily going back to normal as soon as possible. I'm not scared, I'm quite pragmatic about the whole thing. Unless I lock myself at home forever which I'm not prepared to do, I may catch it. Can't do anything about it.

snappycamper Sun 24-May-20 06:28:18

Tbh, it sounds like a return to school, although it won't be "normal" could be a very good thing for you both.

I was trying to think of a diplomatic way of expressing my thoughts, this has nailed it.

If you think it's going to be hard to adjust, surely waiting 6 months rather than 3 is going to name it doubly hard?!

snappycamper Sun 24-May-20 06:31:01

*Ones a male teacher and I really hope she doesn't get him as men scare her and it will make her loose her love of learning.

So worrying for us as parents isn't it.*

Also can't let this pass without comment. I expect a male teacher would be good for your daughter, and show her that men are not to be feared.

crustycrab Sun 24-May-20 07:00:11

"Ones a male teacher and I really hope she doesn't get him as men scare her and it will make her loose her love of learning."

Where has this come from? You've got 3 months to get bigging him up. She can't go through her life terrified of men to the point that she loses her love of learning/whatever she likes at the time.

Spinakker Sun 24-May-20 07:10:40

Why don't you let your daughter try one day at school in June, if she doesn't like it you can withdraw her but it sounds like a bit of a routine would help you both. Your thinking is becoming very negative and you are thinking too far off into the future. It may be that things are alot better by the autumn. Really we need to take control of our thoughts now and think about what positive things we can do for ourselves and our own lives. Look inside yourself for courage rather than looking for reassurance in the outside world. Yes there have been changed but maybe the school won't be as bad as you are expecting and the teachers will still be able to make it enjoyable for the kids. My son's school have offered him 2 days a week. He's in reception. I'm going to try out going back in June as there's a possibility he'll like it and September is a long way off.

BillywilliamV Sun 24-May-20 07:11:41

Send your children to school! They will get used to any changes and it will impose some routine on you all.

Willowmartha1 Sun 24-May-20 07:15:10

Know the feeling, I just snapped at my dd for wanting to get up at 6.45! Wouldn't normally mind but when the day is stretched out with not much to do it's hard. I loath Sunday's anyway, even more now.

Handsoffisback Sun 24-May-20 07:16:16

Why is your daughter scared of men OP? You need to start talking about the male teacher positively. You can’t shield her from men forever.

EdithWeston Sun 24-May-20 07:22:05

It might be daunting, but once you're back doing stuff it'll feel like you never stopped. Probably within 48hours.

Even if cinemas remain closed and you can only go to pubs with gardens

Willowmartha1 Sun 24-May-20 07:22:45

Your post is quite negative OP reading it again. I'd give anything to have a coffee with my mum at anytime she is in the final stages of dementia, I lost my dad at 14 so a couple of months of not seeing your parents really isn't so bad.

Deelish75 Sun 24-May-20 07:23:59

Ones a male teacher and I really hope she doesn't get him as men scare her and it will make her loose her love of learning.

So worrying for us as parents isn't it.

That is so sad. My DD's nursery teacher was a man. He was brilliant, the children loved him and she had a great nursery year with him.

It's highly likely that your DD is going to encounter a male teacher at some point, it's normal to have a male teacher and you need to make this normal for your DD.

We will eventually get back to normal but it's going to take time, how long? I don't know. The whole world has had a shock to its system, but we can't carry on living like this. The longer this goes on for people's mental health is going further and further down the pan.

My DD is 5, unless the government reverses its decision to open schools then she will be going back, she needs the socialisation, it will help with her emotional development.

We all need to start living again - we just need to be sensible about it.

TheHumansAreDefinitelyDead Sun 24-May-20 07:25:19

Scared of men?

I knew a little girl like this, the mum never socialised with men and when my husband came over to talk, she said to her daughter “don’t worry, the big scary man won’t do anything”

My husband was like wtf?!

The mum could not see what she was doing wrong grin

It might be good for your DD to have a nice male teacher to help her get over her phobia

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