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There's no way this can be wrong is there?

(51 Posts)
LifeIsChaos Sun 14-Feb-16 10:30:12

I'm 40! One mishap and took the morning after pill. Already got two young children after years of infertility shock

I don't know if I can do this again....

Wardrobespierre Sun 14-Feb-16 10:32:50

It's not wrong. You do have options. And you don't have to decide immediately. Do you have a gut reaction. Other than, you know, WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!

LifeIsChaos Sun 14-Feb-16 10:38:25


Dh has made it perfectly obvious he doesn't want it. I dont know if I can cope with three little ones, but equally I don't know if I can go through the alternative.

Shit. What a massive fuck up.

haveacupoftea Sun 14-Feb-16 10:46:45

You have to have a pretty strong positive to get a positive on a digi.

Give yourself some time to digest. After the shock wears off you'll both be just fine flowers

LifeIsChaos Sun 14-Feb-16 11:01:59

That's what I thought, I'm not even late. Due today but dh had a 'feeling' so bought a test.

He just keeps listing all the negative things and pushing for a decision.

KitKat1985 Sun 14-Feb-16 12:10:43

I think you need to tell DH that you both need some time to think. If you've only both found out today you are probably both still in shock. Maybe make an appointment with your GP as well next week to discuss with someone impartial? xx

Wardrobespierre Sun 14-Feb-16 12:47:11

I've been there. I was on the pill and using condoms. Shocked is not the word.

Have you some childcare available so you can talk properly? This is 100% your decision and you need to give yourself time to make it the right one.

You'll be in shock. Have a drink and try and eat something. I know well how terrified you must be.

haveacupoftea Sun 14-Feb-16 13:07:05

Well you tell DH he isn't getting an answer until you've thought it through properly. You probably both need a few hours apart. Send him to the pub with a sensible mate, and get a friend over to talk things through with you. Then have a proper chat tonight. But you have plenty time to decide X

Chintaria Sun 14-Feb-16 15:50:09

This happened to us after six years ttc & 5 rounds of IVF to have dc2. We were SO shocked! DH's instant reaction was that we couldn't keep it, but after a few days we got our heads round it, and even started to get excited. Unfortunately I ended up mc'ing and we were devastated. It's such a shock at first, but just get through the next few days and let things settle. You can talk then.

LifeIsChaos Sun 14-Feb-16 16:06:30

Thanks for your responses

He's had a face on him since yesterday when we found out. Wants to go to the docs tomorrow to get it sorted.

No breathing space at all. Dc are only little and need attention.

haveacupoftea Sun 14-Feb-16 16:30:11

Sounds like he needs a dose of reality. It takes 2 to tango and he played his part happily at the time!

Writerwannabe83 Sun 14-Feb-16 18:39:23

Oh dear - what a difficult situation.

How old are your current children?

Your husband is being very unsupportive and you must feel upset and confused by it all flowers

houseHuntinginmanchester Sun 14-Feb-16 18:50:25

First of all, congratulations!

Secondly, your husband is being a dick.

How would you feel about the whole thing if he was over the moon?

Whyissheontheship Sun 14-Feb-16 19:19:01

What a hard situation!

Please don't be pressured/bullied into doing something you don't want to do. He played an equal part in the conception.

Try and decide what you want to do and then do that. No need to rush to make a decision. Can you speak to a pregnancy crisis counsellor?

passmethewineplease Sun 14-Feb-16 19:22:30

Your DH needs to lay off a bit. You need time. Not pressure.

How old are your other DC?

LifeIsChaos Sun 14-Feb-16 20:02:28

Other dc are 5 and 4. I can see his point about finances etc. Hes admitted he doesn't want another one.

As for me. Well I just don't know. I already feel sick as a dog and the thought of 8 months of sickness plus school runs then sleepless nights.... Urgh! I'm just starting to get me time back.

Yes. Your right he's being unsupportive and I feel a bit bulldozed.

He's taken the day off work tomorrow to go to docs hmm

Poin86 Sun 14-Feb-16 20:26:11

You've got time to think it through. Maybe go to the Dr's with him tomorrow but do not let him force you into a decision tomorrow. If you aren't 100% sure you agree with your husband the GP wouldn't agree to it anyway.
If he was happy about it, how would you feel?
Sending hugs.xx

Akire Sun 14-Feb-16 20:35:15

The Dr isn't going to do (except to refer you for counselling) nor is your husbands presence going help right now.

If any thing him pushing for it to be got rid of and you being so unusre would ring even more alarm bells Dr would be more likely to encouraging you to take longer to decide. Does he think him turning up the Dr will just say here's a form off you go!

1fedupmama Sun 14-Feb-16 20:43:03

Wow! Congrats!
Defo tell ur DH that u both need to have a really good think about things!
If u are unsure u have plenty of time to think things over, ur kids are a reasonable age & U can buy a lot of decent baby stuff 2nd hand these days, that saves u a lot of money!
Seriously weigh it up, the good & the bad & think it over properly, its not a Definate no from u straight away so I think deep down u want this & ur excited & its DH that is putting u off.

LifeIsChaos Mon 15-Feb-16 11:21:48

Well I've been to docs and their test was negative. They are not as sensitive as clear blue apparently so I've got to do another test for confirmation.

So in limbo for now.

Thanks for all your support.

KitKat1985 Mon 15-Feb-16 13:46:06

Oh how frustrating LifeisChaos. Let us know how you get on.

LifeIsChaos Tue 16-Feb-16 13:13:13

Had a phone call from docs. Definitely pregnant. Just need to make a decision now.

Writerwannabe83 Tue 16-Feb-16 14:34:57


Had your DH said much more about it?

LifeIsChaos Tue 16-Feb-16 14:38:18

He doesn't want it, but has left the decision up to me confused

Writerwannabe83 Tue 16-Feb-16 14:43:12

And if you decide to keep it how will he react to that? Will he be resentful? Unsupportive of you if you're ill etc?

Or will he accept it and be happy about it?

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