Newbie here - 34 TTC for the first time!

[clarabell4680]

Hi all, I thought I would join here for support as most of my friends have had babies and so I feel like I need other people to talk about the TTC stuff!
I am 34, my partner is 30 & we have been together for 11 years! We have just started TTC literally since the weekend! I know it could be a long old journey and I am hoping it isn't, but I have no idea about how fertile I am. But I obviously worry because of my age. But my cycles are usually spot on but very short, usually 22/23 days, so I have a cycle chart where I know when I am most fertile and ovulate etc.. So I suppose we just keep going until it happens. Keeping everything crossed it happens sooner rather than later but I am not expecting miracles either. I have been off the pill for the last year also, as I just wanted it out of my system.
Is there anyone else similar to me, that fancies being my TTC buddy? :)

[teeniedeenie34]

Hi Clara and welcome

I'm also 34 and my partner is 32 next month, we have been together 10 years so very similar situation to you.

I came of b/c pill on 27th July, after 14 years on it, and am now on cycle #3 of ttc. My first cycle after coming off the pill was awful and if I could do it all over again I would definitely come off the pill a good few months before I started ttc.

Like you, I have no idea of how fertile I am, and am also (in the back of my mind) a little concerned about my age. I figure we'll give it a good 6-12 months before we start thinking about getting tests done etc.

Alot of my friends (the same age as us) have had babies in the last few years and they have all conceived within 6 months so FX we will be the same! Happy to chat to someone so similar!

[clarabell4680]

Aw hello @teeniedeenie :) Good to meet you on here and have someone to chat to that is in a very similar situation as me! :D

Good luck to you both as well. I agree, in the back of my mind, I am thinking realistically and thinking at least 6 - 12 months before I start panicking. But secretly hoping I am super fertile and it happens sooner but I am not getting any hopes up, but you just have to remain realistic and positive too!

So you are a few cycles ahead of me, so FX for you and keep me posted too!

[teeniedeenie34]

Hi Clara

How are you getting on? I forgot to ask where you are in your cycle?

I'm CD25 and 6dpo. My Ovia app says I should test in a week but AF due on Tuesday so I will just have to see if she gets me. Has been a strange cycle this month as I have had AF type cramping basically since the day I ovulated almost a week ago. I've never had this before and seems strange as AF is still 5 days away.

[Inglesina78]

hello ladies! I'm a newbie too, haven't posted much here...

I am 36, my partner is 43 & we have been together for 11 years...TTC for 3 years now and I'm getting tired of it, thinking to given up!

Don't know what else to do, I've recently bought Clearblue digital dual hormone indicator, got smiley faces but still nothing

I previouly had pelvic scan, blood test, my man sperm test and everything is ok. Anyone knows which other tests can we do?

cheers

[clarabell4680]

Hello Teenie, At the moment I am CD18 today and 3dpo, it was a little later than usual, 2 days later in fact so now I worry that we ' did it' on the wrong days but maybe my cycle will alter a bit as we are now trying... so I think my AF will be due on 27th but it should be 25th? So we will see what happens!
How are you feeling, have you tested yet? Keep me posted and sending positive vibes your way! :)

[clarabell4680]

Hi Ingle, I am sorry to hear you have been trying for so long, it must be very frustrating, especially as you have both been checked over. I'm afraid I can't recommend any fertility tests as I haven't used them yet. But Teenie might know better? I assume you have been trying on your fertile day for 3 years? Do you know your exact ovulation days also? Has the doctor offered IVF yet? x

[teeniedeenie34]

Hi Clara

Good to hear you're well and now also in the dreaded tww! The waiting is so difficult... I think as long as you've DTD every other night over your fertile window then you will be covered. FX for you!

I am kind of guessing my dpo this month as I ran out if OPKs just as the sticks were getting stronger. Today is CD28 around 9dpo with last two cycles being 26 days and 28 days. Quite a few symptoms and still cramping... I guess all I can do is wait. We've agreed to test Saturday if AF still not arrived. Feel nervous and don't want to get hopes up.

[Phalenopsisgirl]

Also 34 and wondering much the same, how many eggs are still in the old basket?! Just started trying , ten years since I last conceived ( an accident, typical....when you don't need to be preggers...ta daa ) and wondering if I am still in working order. This is all kind of new to me as DS was, as I said a surprise so have never actually tried, waited or wondered if it'll happen before. It feels quite odd and I can see how people get so obsessed, it's like now the decision is made it makes it some big expectation. I think I preferred the accidental method with hind sight. I think what is important ( for first timers) is not to take how fab child free life is for granted, don't get stressed about ttc, instead really enjoy this time, you'll miss it once it has gone. As you enjoy a full nights sleep .......

[thesmallbear]

Can I join? I'm 33 and first came off the pill in October 2013 when I was 32. I got pregnant in April 2014, but had a MMC in June My mum went through the menopause younger than most and my partner is 43. I'm worried that my eggs are older than the average 33 year olds, and due to DP's age his sperm might not be ideal either. He thinks I'm worrying unnecessarily though. When I started trying for the baby at 32, I didn't realise that I was going to be 34 (at the minimum now) before I actually have the baby!

[clarabell4680]

Hi Teeniedeenie, I don't even use OPK's yet as I don't want to go down that route yet, plus I can usually feel when I am ovulating as I get pain, but it is guess work too. If in a few months nothing has happened I will buy all the tests going so I know exactly when to DTD!
I hope you don't have the dreaded AF! FX for you and let me know.
I feel normal at the moment as it is only CD19 so don't really get symptoms yet anyway. But just a waiting game isn't it!

[clarabell4680]

Hi Phalenopsisgirl, Of course you can join. I agree, in a way it is much better to get pregnant by accident, as long as you want the baby that is.. but yes it takes the stress out of it, definitely. At least you know you can get pregnant though, I know it has been 10 years, but I am sure you will be fine. It might just take a bit longer, that's all.
Don't worry, I do appreciate my sleep and freedom right now, but at my age now, I just feel ready and it is the next step for us, so fingers and toes crossed it happens sooner rather than later for all of us!

Hi Smallbear too! Welcome and so sorry to hear about your MMC :( Try not to worry about your mums menopause, as difficult as that is, as I am the same, my mum was about 47 when she went through it, so it does make me worry, but my sister got pregnant at 33 after a few months of trying, so I am hoping I am the same. I shouldn't worry about your other half's age either, I know lots of older dads! I hope we hear positive news from you soon, keep us posted!

[Gillian1980]

Hiya.
I'm also 34 and TTC #1. Came off the pill 3 months ago and on first cycle if actively TTC.
AF was due last Thursday but still getting bfns. Loads of symptoms so hoping for a bfp but who knows.

Good luck to you all and fingers crossed for bfps x

[Gillian1980]

Sorry to hear about your mmc smallbear. X

[clarabell4680]

Oh good luck for your BFP then Gillian. That would be great after first cycle! Let us know, FX!x

[Phalenopsisgirl]

Yes you'd think I'd be all cool and relaxed as I've previously concieved but I'm just as irrationally worried as everyone else lol, like thesmallbear my mum was early menopaus (38) and my last pregnancy ( a fews years ago now) ended in MC, almost certainly just one of those things and not a sign of total doom, but suddenly I'm thinking on it differently. Hubby also has two children so I know he is in theory in working order too, I think it's just now we are both older ( he is ten years older than me) that I'm starting to get twitchy and think I should have got onto this sooner.

[Phalenopsisgirl]

And really I have no idea why I'm being so daft, my own advice to anyone would be not to worry if its not meant to be. There is definitely a parenthood fantasy where you imagine yourself strolling along with a lovely baby, off to meet other mummies for coffee, the reality is nothing like. I remember thinking I wish I could impart this little pearl of wisdom on my friend who was going through I v f , I was so envious of her child free status, the grass is always greener so they say......

[clarabell4680]

I understand Phalensopsisgirl. I don't always think the grass is greener. Weirdly I have never had fantasies of me being a mum and having this idyllic life! I don't know why, but I just never like to get my hopes up. Not every woman is meant to be a mother in my eyes. Although some thing it is there right. I do hope you have a BFP soon. I worry too, as my mum had an early ish menopause, well 46/47 so not as early as your mum, but everyone is different aren't they?
Anyway, try not to stress too much and what will be will be,
Keep us posted and always here for a chat! x

[Phalenopsisgirl]

Thanks, I will keep checking back hoping to hear some success stories. I have the idilic fantasies even now! Even though I know the reality, what is that saying
about insanity again??... Hehe

[clarabell4680]

Ha ha! I think everyone is a little bit insane when it is TTC time!! ;)

[clarabell4680]

Hi all...! Any updates or news from anyone? I'm on cd21 and have horrendous pmt. So I feel AF will come over weekend as my cycle is usually 22/23 days anyway..but I will keep you posted.

[teeniedeenie34]

Hi Clara A little update from me, I got a BFP on Friday morning ... Still a little in shock to be honest and just taking it day by day as still very early, I'm 4w+4. With all the cramping I knew something was going on, turns out it must have been my little bean making itself comfortable. Just have to keep my FX it sticks and look after myself for the next nine months.

[teeniedeenie34]

Sorry to hear about your terrible pmt Clara, hopefully the witch stays away... FX for you!

[thesmallbear]

Congratulations teenie

I'm 11 DPO and not POAS yet. Not holding out much hope for this month. I don't feel like I did when I was pregnant last time.

[thesmallbear]

Oh and thanks to all those who said they were sorry to hear about my MMC. It really does mean a lot to have the horribleness of it all acknowledged.

[clarabell4680]

Yay teeniedeenie!! Excellent news :) Congratulations!! Keep me updated.
No AF yet but still a migraine. Which to me tells me I'm probably not pregnant as everyone tells me that migraines disappear when you're pregnant so feel a bit bleurghhh x