Hi Pixiecake -
I am having an ELCS because of primary tokophobia, so have gone down this route. I can share what I have learnt, and I'll try and do it in as 'unbiased' a way as I can. I certainly don't want to influence you at all in any direction.
It's worth saying at the start that CS's are not granted on the NHS for 'maternal request', as in, you won't get one just because you ask. However, they can be agreed on psychological grounds, which do count as 'medical reasons' (obviously 'medical' doesn't just mean 'physical' - no one says depression isn't a medical condition, for example).
It won't count that your mother had bad labours, as far as I am aware. If you are arguing that you have a birth phobia, then I think (as with other psychological or psychiatric conditions), it's not that realistic to diagnose yourself, IYSWIM - you may need to be diagnosed. There is a difference (as with all phobias) between a 'reasonable' level of anxiety, and something which is much more serious and psychologically disabling.
I talked to my GP and my midwife when I saw them about my fears - it would have been obvious I was very distressed, as even talking about it is very hard, and luckily they were sympathetic.
I was referred after my 12 week booking-in appt to the Head Midwife at my local hospital, who referred me to the pre-natal pyschiatric team. I had another appointment with a psychiatrist, and they recommended me for a C-section on psychological grounds. The C-section itself has been agreed by a consultant, they are ultimately the ones who have to okay it - but by that stage, it wasn't a case of just me asking for it, I had the support of my midwife, Head Midwife and a psychiatrist.
That sounds like a lot of appointments now I write it down. But it's been a positive process, albeit pretty uncomfortable and upsetting at times just because of the territory and having to talk about my past. But the head midwife explained when she was referring me to the psychiatric team that they were concerned with giving me the best care, whatever that turned out to be. Given that I've a history of sexual abuse and depression, there are other pregnancy and postnatal care issues as well as birth that they wanted to be sensitive about. I found that very reassuring, and have viewed the medical entourage as supportive. I'm currently 27 weeks pregnant btw, so this has all happened prior to now.
I'm aware that other women in similar situations have had less sympathetic responses from the MWs/HCPs, and I'm sure that care in this area varies as much throughout the NHS as other pregnancy/birth care. So I can't argue that my experience is 'the norm'.
However, I would recommend that you go and see your GP asap, and be open to the idea of a psychiatric referral. The earlier you start the process and flag up your issues, the better. They might offer you counselling - up to you whether you want to go down that road, but I wouldn't rule it out. It is not the magic wand that some people seem to think it is, and with pregnancy as a 'ticking clock', the circumstances may not be ideal, but it can be successful for some people. There may be other options they want you to explore. It wasn't appropriate for me, but other women have found things like hypno-birthing really helpful, for example.
I'd just be aware that 'demanding' something from a doctor or HCP can sometimes rub them up the wrong way. I absolutely believe that in my position I needed to be assertive about my problems, and was determined to be taken seriously - but I didn't go in with a self diagnosed problem and a solution which I simply wanted someone to 'sign off' for me. IME, HCPs respond much better if they feel you are asking for their professional help, not treating them like a consumer service.
Just a quick 'heads up' to end this very long post. There is a huge lack of understanding about birth phobia, and other people's reactions can be very ignorant - sometimes inadvertently hurtful, and occasionally downright vicious, for some reason. It's hugely emotive territory, and tbh I'm still picking my way through it. Now, I'm not even saying you have a birth phobia, I don't know you or your situation beyond what you've said here, and I'm no more qualified than anyone else on this forum to 'diagnose' you. I'm just trying to answer your question (knowing that others will, like I did, look desperately for info about this subject). I'm just warning you that you might get some very hostile answers for some reason, and if you do, do try not to take them personally. It just comes from ignorance.