will i cope with gas and air, and other naive questions

[Mumblesmummy]

This will have been asked a million times before by others, so sorry if I'm boring anyone.

I'm the weirdest person ever because I am sooooooooooooooooooooo excited about giving birth. I've always wanted to do it myself and I'm really excited that it's only 14 weeks away. I'm going to use a birthing pool and hope it goes as smoothly as my best friends (who had a great labour, 1st baby, 20 years old, 2 hours labour and a few mins pushing and all done... and little miss glowey and lovely before and afterwards).

However, it's begun to occur to me that everyone hates it and is terrified of it so clearly I'm wrong to be excited. I plan on using gas and air... but now I'm starting to wonder a few things.

Firstly, everyone says they can't describe how it feels.. I get that it's awful pain.. but can anyone clarify exactly how it feels?

Second, will I cope with gas and air or do I need an epidural? i'd really rather not have an epidural, and I want to be able to cope fine with gas and air.

Third, how long is the average labour? i understand they vary, but is there a sort of norm? is it likely to go on for longer than a day?

I think that's about all my questions. I'm just soooo looking forward to it and everyone's going 'noooooo it's going to be horrendous, how can you look forward to that?' so I'm guessing I'm wrong.

Don't get me wrong, I understand there's a lot of pain and it's tiring, but there's a gorgeous baby at the end of it!!! Fantastic!!

[crokky]

I think going into it positively is great. IMO, you should also have an open mind - you can make the decision as to whether you need an epidural at the time, I wouldn't have a fixed attitude to it either way - everyone experiences it differently. Gas and air has different effects on different people - I loved it , but some people find it either has no effect or makes the feel really sick. So I think you just go with how you feel at the time.

[queenrollo]

it doesn't have to be horrendous. i managed fine on gas and air, the pain wasn't that bad........i was in labour for 8 hours.

i'm pleased that you're looking forward to it, it can be an enjoyable experience. i certainly have nothing but good memories of my son's birth.

[nortynamechanger]

Whatever decision you make at the start eg using gas and air only is not set in stone - you CAN change your mind if it hurts!

[bohemianbint]

Hi,

I think it's brilliant that you're so positive! I did Hypno Birthing which was all about being positive and I had a fab first labour; 4 hour, home birth, only gas and air.

I guess all labours are different, just have to suck it and see but I found my body took over and it was nothing I couldn't cope with. (I accept I was lucky!)

[CorrieDale]

I would give birth again tomorrow, if I could do it without going through that awful pregnancy lark first!

El CS the first time, home birth the second. It is hard to describe the pain. It overwhelms you, but it comes, peaks and goes - it doesn't so much hurt more as labour progresses, but the gaps between the pain are much shorter, so you have less time to recover. It really really hurts, but it is NOT the worst pain ever. Or at least, it wasn't for me - I had SPD (mild SPD, mark you!) a couple of times in my pregnancy and that hurt much much more. I can remember being in labour and thinking 'holy shit, this really really hurts. I wasn't expecting this' but I never thought 'get me an epidural!!!!'. I was at home mind, so without going into hospital, an epidural wasn't an option.

Average labour? Varies. I expected a 3 day labour because that's what my mum had, both times. As it turned out, I was in established labour for 7 hours (2 of which was pushing). And the post-birth high is something else!

I would add that there were plenty of people saying to me and about me that I was bonkers to have a home birth when I hadn't ever had so much as a contraction before, and I got sooo much satisfaction sending them the 'baby laura born at home....' text.

I did lots and lots of positive reading - Ina May Gaskin, Childbirth Without Fear, etc - before the birth. I had a doula during the birth. I did as much as I could to help myself, trusted my body, and I was fortunate in my midwives, my husband, my doula, and my baby. But the bottom line, I think, is that I was lucky.

[CorrieDale]

By the way, I had a tens machine instead of gas & air. They had to wrench it from me so I could get into the birthing pool. My doula wanted to take it off when I was in the room next to the pool and I remember telling her she was bonkers! 'I'll take it off when I'm beside the pool and no sooner' I had been sceptical about tens but it really really helped.

[Miaou]

I found that I don't get on with many forms of pain relief (eg gas and air, pethidine, morphine) as they make me very sick - so it's worth knowing what your alternatives are

One thing to bear in mind is your stamina levels. Each pregnancy I have gone swimming twice a week, doing up to 40 lengths a time, to increase my fitness levels. I am convinced this helped me during labour (though my labours were all fairly short).

And good for you for being so positive!

[Alexandersmummy]

My first labour with DS lasted 8 hours and I did it with just gas and air and I found that was enough for me, yeah it does hurt and it is hard to describe but for me it was when he was crowning that I found it most painful.
With DD (who is only 12 days old!!) I delivered in the car! DH driving, I couldn't stop her coming, obviously had no pain relief and it did hurt more than DS but it was still bearable.
Remember though you can change your mind, and enjoy the experience because it is wonderful (even when done in a car!)
Good Luck

[alfiesbabe]

I agree that having a really positive outlook is great and a really important factor in feeling good about the birth. Of course, no one can really explain what it'll be like, but try to keep in mind that hundreds of thousands of women have been there and done it and lived to tell the tale!! Yes, of course it's possible to manage with gas and air. Not all women like it, but i found it helped to think of it as not blocking the pain, but kind of changing how i felt about it if that makes sense! It sort of takes the edge off the pain and makes you feel pleasantly 'out of it'. The thing I liked about it a lot is that you are in control - you breathe in and get the effects, and then breathe out and it's gone. So if you change your mind, or want a break from it for a couple of contractions, you can literally just stop - it doesnt stay in your body like eg pethidine or epidural. I kind of imagined before labour that once you're onto pain relief, it's constant, but the joy of g and a is that it isnt. Even when my contractions were coming thick and fast, I coped with some of them by just breathing through on my own, and saved the g and a for the biggies.
You mention epidural - they're used at about 33 % of births I believe, which means that they're not used for about 67%. So that answers your question - you don't need one. If you're keen to really 'live' the experience of giving birth then it sounds like you probably won't want one. I had one for a CS and tbh it completely changes the event because you're numbed up and can't feel anything. Fine if you don't mind a medicalised birth but it wasnt for me.
Good luck - I bet you'll be fine.

[sushistar]

I loved my birth. It hurt, but not all that 'worst pain ever' stuff - it wasn't half as bad as having my appendix out, and the really hurting bit was when his head came out and lasted only a minute or two. I had gas and air only, and totally agree with Starlight about the tube to scream down! And I had to be cut, and had a ventouse delivery, and it was STILL a wonderful experience. You're not being naive to go into it feeling positive - for me it WAS positive, and I'm really certain my good feelings about it helped me handle it well and cope with all the contractions etc.

[madamez]

I had G&A only. But I did askfor an epidural towards the end, but was too late. Going in with a positive attitude should ensure a good experience, but please bear in mind that every labour is different, every birth is different, and if something doesn't go according to plan, you haven't failed. I wanted to have a water birth but was overdue and hypertensive, so had to be induced and monitored - you can't be sure what will happen.

BTW, enough G&A can give you the most glorious hallucinations: I was tripping off my tits for most of DS birth. Good luck anyway: the best end result is healthy baby and healthy you, no matter how you both got there.

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

When I was expecting my first the best thing a friend told me about labour was 'it's a pain, but it's a pain that you can control and will achieve something from, as opposed to an uncontrollable pain where something has to you''

The best thing is to be as positive and calm as you can be. Make sure that you make your environment extremely comfortable, whether at hospital or home, and don't let anyone tell you what to do.

Every labour is different, as I'm sure you've heard a hundred times, but with my first it was mild period type cramps for almost 12 hours, then four hours where they increased in intensity up to the actual birth. I had a lot of gas and air and made a lot of noise, lol.

The pain really can be influenced by perception. If it is a straightforward birth you should be fine.

[B1977]

you might well vom when you take 1st drag but good after that hopefully

[bramblina]

It bl**dy angers me when people give all the nightmare stories and how much it hurts...if it was that bad nobody would do it more than once.

I had a similar attitude to you, quite looking forward to it and all that, which certainly helped. I thought it couldn't be that bad. My friend had advised me not to "fight" the pain, rather go with it, as you cannot stop it so just let it be, I planned this, yet in well established labour I did think to myself "I cannot "ride" this pain but each contraction does end" and that worked for me.

I had no pain relief for the first 8 hrs, then had a tens machine put on- I found this more of a distraction than anything. Used that alone for another 2 or 3 hrs then began using gas and air, used this for the remainder, total 14 hrs of labour. Once I got comfy and established with the gas and air I totally "went in to myself" (?) and didn't speak or anything other than concentrate, and just got on with it. My attitude to pain relief- the more intervention you introduce, the more you will encourage and that certainly seems true of all of my peers. I also thought if I only use g&a I will experience the worst it is going to get, therefore no shocks to come when whatever else would wear off! FWIW though I actually found the stitches much worse- but then I had my baby by then so would rather have not had that part!!

Sorry to ramble but I had such a "textbook" birth etc and not a single awful part to it I want to share it with everyone! With your attitude I think you'll have a great experience. I also reckon raspberry leaf tea made a difference to having good effective contractions. And also fwiw I'm going to look more into perineal massage this time and do more about it as I'm due in 15 weeks too!

HTH

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

And you should bear in mind that epidurals can often lead to a more complicated birth, so it's best to use it as a last resort.

[B1977]

also pain was a combination of really bad period pain / too much sex / vomiting cramps but generally feeling like you are being pulled apart. And I had a good labour, honest.

Others will laugh but no harm taking 2 paracetamol when labour starts and then using TENS.

[miarosemum]

i would just keep an open mind about it all especially the pain relief, everyone feels pain differently and has different thresholds so if you need the drugs take them! but just do your research 1st and good luck!

[LyraSilvertongue]

There's no way of predicting what kind of birth you'll have till it happens. I had all kinds of ideas about my first birth, all very natural, and ended up being induced and constantly on a monitor, DS1 becoming distressed and having and emergency CS. The complete opposite of the birth I'd wanted. DS2's was even worse.
I'm not trying to scare you, just saying you shouldn't make too many rigid plans for the birth because you've got no idea how your body will cope. Just go with the flow and see what happens.

[LyraSilvertongue]

btw, i drank raspberry leaf tea religiously and it helped not one jot.

[B1977]

I drank raspberry tea too. Who knows what it does really?

Best pain relief is when you are done and dusted and have lovely baby to stare at in general awe and wonder.

Good luck with it all.

[Twinklemegan]

"if it was that bad nobody would do it more than once." Some people don't do it more than once though...

Mumblesmummy - it's great to have a positive attitude and I really hope it goes well for you. But just be aware that a positive attitude can only go so far, and if your baby decides to be awkward and get stuck then no amount of deep breathing and positive thinking is going to help that much - sorry. So just have an open mind and whatever you do don't feel like you've failed if you do end up finding it a lot more painful than you were prepared for. And good luck!

[alfiesbabe]

Bramblina - really good point about with g and a you know how your body is feeling, and therefore you don't have any awful pain when the drugs wear off. The women in hospital with me who had epidurals were all in quite a state when they wore off and they realised their fanjos were on fire, whereas at least if you've felt the pain of labour it's a bloody breeze afterwards!