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Expectant Father after some advice please

(38 Posts)
TheExpectantFather Tue 19-Jun-07 07:20:24

Hello All,

After the mums in the pregnancy message board gave me such good advice I back for more

We're getting close to the junior arriving and I'm after some advice about what to pack into my DW's bags for when she goes into labour.

What's really essential for her to have and what will make it easier for her?

When she's sending electric shocks into her back with her TENS machine or is pumping gas and air direct to her brain will she really care if she's listening to Paul McCartney or Yoko Ono?

Thanks for any help,
Ian
The Expectant Father

BandofMothers Tue 19-Jun-07 07:32:57

I didn't give a crap the first time round, but some music I loved was quite nice second time, until the intense stuff, then I didn't care again.
Baggy pj's are a must. High Calorie snacks for during and after the birth, esp if breast feeding.
Sanitary stuff obviously. Some comfy loose clothes, disposable knickers.
A mag or book, just in case the baby sleeps and she doesn't want to.
Lucozade for the labour just in case.
Just trying to think of some other stuff..........

BandofMothers Tue 19-Jun-07 07:35:18

Good grief.....Baby clothes obviously. Actually I packed a different bag for the baby, do you want a list for that too.

skirmish Tue 19-Jun-07 07:40:47

i searched high and low for dark coloured pj's to avoid any embarrassing leaks/stains whilst in hospital...most 'maternity/nursing' stuff seems to be in light colours - ridiculous!

second the disposable knickers though you will get hundreds of people saying they are shite - personally, thought they were fab!

food/snacks for afterwards - hospital food is grim and you can't just pop down to the cafe!

antibac wipes for toilet seat etc

2 bags - one for labour, one for afterwards, or 3 if you want to be really organised - 3rd for just baby stuff

will surely think of loads more

BandofMothers Tue 19-Jun-07 07:44:46

I was in a great midwife run unit, and the food was so good I didn't want to go home. But it is a small place so def not good in general I think.
I loved the disposable knickers too.

Ooh a wash bag of course. Flannel incase she wants her head mopped, mat wards and delivery rooms are always boiling hot.

skirmish Tue 19-Jun-07 07:46:57

lucky you bom! we couldn't even have toast due to health and safety issues!!!

you need to find out what the hospital supplies - ours said we needed to bring our own towels (again, best to get a dark colour - there is a lot of blood loss!!!) you should get a list from your midwife

MrsBadger Tue 19-Jun-07 07:47:07

if you are shopping, Next have maternity/nursing pyjamas and nightie (latter kinder to stitches) in a v good dark plum colour - top right here

and whatever you take, make sure you pack he labour bag so you know where to find stuff in it...

skirmish Tue 19-Jun-07 07:49:41

good plan mrs b - i was desperately trying to tell dh where the babygros/nappies were while legs akimbo being stiched up!

plum coloured pj's would be brilliant - though i just went down the cheap route and got some pj bottoms from primark/peacocks and wore with a nursing vest - it is bloody hot on mat ward!

BandofMothers Tue 19-Jun-07 07:55:23

I wore some old running shorts, but then with dd2 it was high summer.
I know Skirmish it was great The ward had a little kitchen off it and it was always stocked with breakfast stuff as brekkie was self serve. So you could have cereal/toast/juice anytime you wanted. There was also a fridge you could put anything you want in.
They're thinking of closing the unit and I think I would cry if they did. I had both dd's in the same room, on the same spot on the floor.

Expectantdad, get ready to be helpless and watch your dw in pain. DH hated it, but was a star, he didn't utter a peep when I was pushing and digging my elbows into his thighs. I even ripped the belt loops off his jeans as I hung onto them
Just do anything she asks immediately no matter how bizarre you may think it seems.

BandofMothers Tue 19-Jun-07 07:56:35

Also a change of clothes for you, incase she wants you in the pool with her.
DD1 did her first poo on DH so you just never know.

skirmish Tue 19-Jun-07 07:58:22

and comfy clothes/shoes for you - my dh had on leather shoes and his feet were killing him afterwards! you are bound to get some kind of muck on you at some stage, but to be honest, you won't care!!

Judy1234 Tue 19-Jun-07 07:59:03

Bottled water, some food (for you), camera, video camera (if they allow it etc.
Our first was 12 days early so her father had to leave me for 30 minutes during labour to buy a moses basket otherwise we would have had her back home that evening with nowhere to put her in (we had a same day transfer back home) as I didn't want a night in hospital.

MunchiesMama Tue 19-Jun-07 08:12:19

I know everyone has said that the disposable pants are good, but i wanted real pants! You can get black pants in a pack of 5/6 from M&S which do the job.... just feels nicer than paper pants

Good luck xx

MunchiesMama Tue 19-Jun-07 08:16:03

Oh if your DW has hair with layers or a longish fringe a hair clip is a god send! In the height of labour hair in your face is unbearable.

Throat sweets (I sucked so hard on the gas and air for 7 hours that my throat was really sore the next day)

Oh also lip balm as my lips were dry from breathing through my mouth so much!

Ceebee74 Tue 19-Jun-07 08:23:50

Echo others - definitely some food as the hospital food was appalling (lucky you bom!) - I lived off jelly babies for the 3 days I was in!

Disposable knickers were awful - get a pack of really cheap 'big' knickers from Matalan or Asda. Also, agree about the PJ's - I got some fab nighties which buttoned up the front (ideal for breastfeeding) for about £4 each from Matalan.

Also, some vaseline/lip balm - I never go anywhere without that anyway but my lips were so dry afterwards and DH had helpfully gone home with the 2 pots of vaseline in his pockets! Had to beg the MW to give me a tube of theirs!

Oh, most importantly - nappies. I naively expected that you would get some in the hospital but no, you have to bring your own.

BandofMothers Tue 19-Jun-07 08:25:02

Good one Munchies, lip balm is good.
Can also be used on sore nipples. My midwife said vaseline does the same thing just as well as the expensive nipple creams. Or breast milk expressed after a feedand rubbed in.

Klaw Tue 19-Jun-07 08:58:08

Just don't forget to pack the unconditional, unwaivering support! When she asks for pain relief and says she can't do it anymore and wants a CS, what she really wants (although she'll argue till blue in the face at that time) is the support, to be told that she's doing brilliantly and that she IS doing it, that it's hard but she's a star, that you're so proud of her. Never, not once, show any negativity or doubt.

Get Arnica pillules (30c from Boots or some such or better still 200c from Helios) . Arnica is invaluable for healing the tender tissues down below and for CS scars.

In fact read up on and/or hire a Doula to support the both of you. You're having a baby too and need just as much emotional and physical support so that you can be there for DW totally.

BandofMothers Tue 19-Jun-07 08:59:58

My mum was there for both the girls births and DH said he felt better knowing she was there. Sort of moral support for him too.

Pruners Tue 19-Jun-07 09:02:31

Message withdrawn

NBuGgeration Tue 19-Jun-07 09:06:13

I second third and forth the Arnica pillules.
They are amazing.

Pack a couple of flannels.
I found sticking some ice in them and wrapping them up was a great method of pain relief
Kept me cool and I had something to bite onto when I needed it.

skirmish Tue 19-Jun-07 09:07:44

i used the arnica cream slapped liberally all over bits (on recommendation from mw) and thought it was fantastic - really took the swelling away, but think someone on here has said you are not supposed to put it on 'sensitive areas'

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsTittleMouse Tue 19-Jun-07 09:24:35

Water bottle with sports-type top (so can drink at funny angles) and glucose tablets. I couldn't keep any food down and they were the only things that kept me going through a very long labour.
Snacks for you during and her after are also very important. And don't take a towelling dressing gown she has a thinner one, it's really hot in the ward after.
Also, you're role is to tell her how well she is doing. No matter what happens, she is doing really well. I told DH this, but he got carried away after the first hour of the second stage and kept telling me to "push, go on MrsT, PUSH!". It took all my willpower not to shout back "I am pushing you $&%!".

ScoobyC Tue 19-Jun-07 09:25:37

Some nice-smelling luxury mini toiletries for after birth bath/shower and a really really soft sponge!! Same with the pp re music, when I smell the shower gel I used afterwards I'm transported back to the delivery room!
I second a seperate bag for her and baby.

Judy1234 Tue 19-Jun-07 10:56:03

Also consider how you long you all want to stay in. I do recommend a 6 hour transfer is you're all well. Getting back to your own house with your own baby and new family is brilliant. Although some people love NHS hospitals, the food the other people the heat and try to prolong their stays as long as possible. Remember they cannot keep you in whenever you choose to leave whatever they say.

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