Expectant Father after some advice please

[TheExpectantFather]

Hello All,

After the mums in the pregnancy message board gave me such good advice I back for more

We're getting close to the junior arriving and I'm after some advice about what to pack into my DW's bags for when she goes into labour.

What's really essential for her to have and what will make it easier for her?

When she's sending electric shocks into her back with her TENS machine or is pumping gas and air direct to her brain will she really care if she's listening to Paul McCartney or Yoko Ono?

Thanks for any help,
Ian
The Expectant Father

[Songbird]

I know! And I had to beg for a bloody towel! Not a bloody towel you understand, they weren't that bad . They did give me one, but very reluctantly. They were lovely midwives, very supportive and friendly, but the hospital obviously had 'rules'.

[elkiedee]

I was told at my only antenatal class that if leaving by car - your own or a friend/relative's (we don't drive) you need a car seat. A valuable piece of advice, we have one as part of a travel system that can be clipped into a car, but the first time it wasn't something I, or my mum, had thought of.

don't forget to let us know how it all goes after.

[Rumpel]

Lactulose and loads of fruit in case she is in for a few days - contispation due to painkillers after labour is sooo not good!

[jetjets]

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[Songbird]

Check with the hospital what you have to take - my poor little dd had to lie on a big paper sheet thing until dh brought one from home the next day - they didn't even supply cot bedding! How shite is that? Bottle fed babies get formula supplied, but babies have to sleep on scratchy paper - it just never occurred to me to ask!

[TheExpectantFather]

Thanks again everyone for your help with this.

I've posted your suggestions here:

expectant-father.7879designs.com/mums-net-hospital-ba gs/

I really do appreciate all you help.

Ian
The Expectant Father

[Marina]

Definitely pillow from home, spritzed with a favourite cologne or lavender water
Also agree arnica, it is magical stuff.
Wet-wipes for toilet seat and LIQUID SOAP too as antibac wash does not kill clostridium difficile germs, only MRSA and e-coli...
Crocs or something easy to slide on for her feet
Double check your mobile credit (if you are PAYG)
Have some sports-cap bottles of water/squash pre-frozen the freezer and just sling them in as you leave. They will provide you with cold refreshing drinks for a good 12 hours

[bossykate]

pack a bag for yourself - change of clothes, toothbrush etc, you may be in with your dw a long time...

[cupcakesgalore]

Take her pillow from home. It's really lovely to have something comfy and smelling of home - and my hospital had run out of pillows during one of my labours!

[bettythebuilder]

Pruners- even easier than a note pad!

If your dw has any dietary probs whatsoever (ie dairy, wheat intolerance,etc) take your own food.
Make sure your camera is fully charged!

[BandofMothers]

If you do forget something you will have more important things on your mind

[Blu]

Anything that she really likes as a matter of habit - for e.g if she drinks herbal tea, pack a couple of teabags. (I made DP go home for our mini cafitiere and ground coffee!).
Pack stuff for you, too - you won't be thanked for disappearing to the canteen, and you'll be useless fainting with hunger!

[TheExpectantFather]

Hi there.

Thanks so much for all the replies and the good wishes.

We're still officially 3-4 weeks away from due (for what that's worth) but we felt it was time to think about packing a bag.

The DW and I will have to pop to the shops for some disposable pants and arnica pillules is on the list too.

I will put the other items into a post on my blog and give you all credit the post a link back here when I'm done.

Again thanks for the help with this, I just hope I don't forget something on the day!

Cheers,
Ian
The Expectant Father

[Judy1234]

Also consider how you long you all want to stay in. I do recommend a 6 hour transfer is you're all well. Getting back to your own house with your own baby and new family is brilliant. Although some people love NHS hospitals, the food the other people the heat and try to prolong their stays as long as possible. Remember they cannot keep you in whenever you choose to leave whatever they say.

[ScoobyC]

Some nice-smelling luxury mini toiletries for after birth bath/shower and a really really soft sponge!! Same with the pp re music, when I smell the shower gel I used afterwards I'm transported back to the delivery room!
I second a seperate bag for her and baby.

[MrsTittleMouse]

Water bottle with sports-type top (so can drink at funny angles) and glucose tablets. I couldn't keep any food down and they were the only things that kept me going through a very long labour.
Snacks for you during and her after are also very important. And don't take a towelling dressing gown she has a thinner one, it's really hot in the ward after.
Also, you're role is to tell her how well she is doing. No matter what happens, she is doing really well. I told DH this, but he got carried away after the first hour of the second stage and kept telling me to "push, go on MrsT, PUSH!". It took all my willpower not to shout back "I am pushing you $&%!".

[skirmish]

i used the arnica cream slapped liberally all over bits (on recommendation from mw) and thought it was fantastic - really took the swelling away, but think someone on here has said you are not supposed to put it on 'sensitive areas'

[NBuGgeration]

I second third and forth the Arnica pillules.
They are amazing.

Pack a couple of flannels.
I found sticking some ice in them and wrapping them up was a great method of pain relief
Kept me cool and I had something to bite onto when I needed it.

[Pruners]

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[BandofMothers]

My mum was there for both the girls births and DH said he felt better knowing she was there. Sort of moral support for him too.

[Klaw]

Just don't forget to pack the unconditional, unwaivering support! When she asks for pain relief and says she can't do it anymore and wants a CS, what she really wants (although she'll argue till blue in the face at that time) is the support, to be told that she's doing brilliantly and that she IS doing it, that it's hard but she's a star, that you're so proud of her. Never, not once, show any negativity or doubt.

Get Arnica pillules (30c from Boots or some such or better still 200c from Helios) . Arnica is invaluable for healing the tender tissues down below and for CS scars.

In fact read up on and/or hire a Doula to support the both of you. You're having a baby too and need just as much emotional and physical support so that you can be there for DW totally.

[BandofMothers]

Good one Munchies, lip balm is good.
Can also be used on sore nipples. My midwife said vaseline does the same thing just as well as the expensive nipple creams. Or breast milk expressed after a feedand rubbed in.

[Ceebee74]

Echo others - definitely some food as the hospital food was appalling (lucky you bom!) - I lived off jelly babies for the 3 days I was in!

Disposable knickers were awful - get a pack of really cheap 'big' knickers from Matalan or Asda. Also, agree about the PJ's - I got some fab nighties which buttoned up the front (ideal for breastfeeding) for about £4 each from Matalan.

Also, some vaseline/lip balm - I never go anywhere without that anyway but my lips were so dry afterwards and DH had helpfully gone home with the 2 pots of vaseline in his pockets! Had to beg the MW to give me a tube of theirs!

Oh, most importantly - nappies. I naively expected that you would get some in the hospital but no, you have to bring your own.

[MunchiesMama]

Oh if your DW has hair with layers or a longish fringe a hair clip is a god send! In the height of labour hair in your face is unbearable.

Throat sweets (I sucked so hard on the gas and air for 7 hours that my throat was really sore the next day)

Oh also lip balm as my lips were dry from breathing through my mouth so much!