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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Childbirth

Do they let DP stay with you overnight?

45 replies

justanotheryoungmother · 29/03/2017 13:29

After you have the baby does everyone have to go or can your DP stay overnight with you? I'm not sure where he'd stay when I got out into the ward? Or does he have to go when you go into the ward?

OP posts:

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PaperdollCartoon · 29/03/2017 13:31

Once baby is born Dad isn't allowed to stay over night in any hospital I know of.

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LemonScentedStickyBat · 29/03/2017 13:32

Some places do, yes

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Soubriquet · 29/03/2017 13:32

After baby is born you usually hang around the labour ward for a while whilst paperwork is being filled out.

When you do eventually get moved to the ward, if it's visiting hours, he can come with you. If it isn't, he isn't expected to go and come back later

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SaneAsABoxOfFrogs · 29/03/2017 13:33

Depends when the baby is born, i guess. My son was born at 2.30am and as the midwifery unit was quiet, we were allowed to stay together in the delivery room until we were all moved to the general post- delivery ward at 8.30. if he'd been born a couple of hours earlier,when they were busy, i would have been moved to the post delivery ward right away and DH sent home for a few hours.

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IJustWantABrew · 29/03/2017 13:34

At my hospital when I was in labour dp was allowed to stay till child had left the mothership. When I was moved onto the ward he was allowed to stay between 8am and 9pm. He had to go home at night.
Just check with your local hospital or ask midwife.

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Pootles2010 · 29/03/2017 13:34

Depends on hospital. You'll have to ask your midwife I think.

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MiddleClassProblem · 29/03/2017 13:36

I was in and nhs hospital and they had 2 rooms you could pay for where dp could stay but otherwise they have to go as my DH did. It's really hard but fortunately really late and so he was back as soon as visiting hours opened. I was a little sad and worried but as I had a catheter the midwives had to do changes and help me feed etc but he found it really tough as he just had to leave both of us. He texted me a lot in the night x

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HecateAntaia · 29/03/2017 13:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DuggeeHugs · 29/03/2017 15:33

It seems to depend on birth location, how you are and how accommodating the staff feel. I'd guess how busy the ward is also factors in.

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fruityb · 29/03/2017 15:37

My OH stayed with me they brought reclining chairs down. There was only two other women on the ward I was in and only one had their partner there. It was very quiet and calm and fine. There were four beds to a room where I was so never got too full. We had it all to ourselves on the second day I was in until 2am the following morning.

I didn't mind other dads being there, I barely even noticed them there in all honesty. I'd had a c section, was a sweaty mess and all that but it would probably bother them more than it ever did me. We had the curtain round our section and shared with considerate people.

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namechangedtoday15 · 29/03/2017 15:49

Well I was in hospital for 2 days before I actually went into labour and H wasn't allowed to stay on the ward. He tried to sleep in the main reception of the hospital but he got "moved along" as they thought he was homeless!!

When my babies were born (premature twins) I was given a private room on the ward and he was allowed to stay in there with me for the first night.

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alltouchedout · 29/03/2017 15:53

Different hospitals have different rules.

This is a somewhat controversial topic on mumsnet, be warned.

I wish all postnatal wards were single occupancy rooms.

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MaroonPencil · 29/03/2017 15:53

In the hospital I was in DH was with me all the way through labour, but once I was on the ward it was visiting hours only - maybe extended visiting hours I forget. My sister though gave birth in a cottage hospital ten years ago and her DP was allowed to stay, she had her own room with a double bed - it was like a hotel! Closed now of course, funding cuts.

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PeppaAteMySoul · 29/03/2017 15:56

When I had my first baby DP couldn't stay but when I had my second he could (different hospitals). I had my 2nd child on the midwife unit which meant each mother and baby got a seperate room with a double bed. It was lovely

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Sandsnake · 29/03/2017 16:00

Depends on the hospital. The hospital where I had DS allowed partners and DH stayed both nights that we were in (one night open ward, other night private room).

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gamerchick · 29/03/2017 16:02

Some do. Inconsiderate to other woman though.

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BillyButtfuck · 29/03/2017 16:15

In transitional care and SCUBA my DP was allowed to stay with me and Dtwins in the chair beside the bed. He didn't stay over night but that was our decision as there was a very vulnerable woman on my ward.

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AreWeThereYet000 · 29/03/2017 17:17

At the hospital where I had both my DCs partners were allowed to stay overnight only if you were in active labour - then once you had delivered they were only allowed on the wards during visiting hours x

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ImperialBlether · 29/03/2017 17:23

I always think the ward which is built for, say, six people, now has to accommodate twelve. That immediately brings its own problems eg with noise, television, phone calls, food.

The ward is intended for sick people - there would be six there who weren't six and I don't think all of them would be helping their partners.

Then they all go home. The blokes would be knackered after sleeping on the chair (though some actually take it in turns with the woman on the bed - wtf? There was a woman on one of the threads justifying it.) So the woman goes home - she's tired, he's tired, the house is as it was when they left. There's no shopping in, no tidying done. And I reckon a good proportion of those men would take themselves off to bed.

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Nellooo · 29/03/2017 17:38

I had to stay in two nights with ds1 and I'm glad that partners were sent home at 11pm. It was hot and noisy enough without a bunch of extra people in there.

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TheHobbitMum · 29/03/2017 17:41

I had a traumatic birth with my 4th baby, Husband was allowed to stay with me(and my other kids if I wanted them too) but I was placed away from the ward to help come to terms with the birth (DD had damage from birth). I was actual placed in the maternity bereavement suite which was like a small flat, set off from the corridor as they felt it was better for me to be away from the hustle of main ward. No other times has DH stayed but never needed/wanted him too.

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scaredofthecity · 29/03/2017 17:42

My DH stayed but I think it was only because the postnatal ward was full. So we stayed in the delivery room, me on the bed, and him on one of those birthing cushion things.

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DirtyDancing · 30/03/2017 14:18

Yes in some hospitals. My hospital in south London does allow Dad's to stay

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Sundaygal · 30/03/2017 16:44

My DH could have with my first at the one hospital as they kept me in the labour suite ... but it had been a long labour, baby was born in the morning so by evening he was tired and he went home to sleep. The second (at a different hospital) he had to go home as baby was born after visiting hours. It felt like he was rushed out and I didn't like that at all as it was really quiet and no other babies born that night - didn't see any other labouring ladies so not sure why the rush... But understand in a shared ward after hours. So this time - hoping baby is born in the morning

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babynelly2010 · 31/03/2017 07:42

Depending on hospital. First baby was born in the birthing centre at 9:30pm. We stayed together on double bed that they provided in every room. Second baby was born in birthing centre in different hospital at 3:30. There was no proper bed in the room, DH stayed after all checks were done and went home, took a nap, came back with oldest mid day.
This one, we are going to consultant lead unit in another hospital. Postnatal wards are with 3 bays each, DHs allowed to stay. We will be asking for private room however. 3 women, 3 babies and 3 men in a same room does not sound all that great :(