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Big baby and forceps first time, but how was it second time around?

(43 Posts)
learnasyougo Sat 18-Jan-14 17:15:04

I'm pregnant with baby #2 and am umming and ahhing about my birth options.

My first baby was a rather uncharitable ten and a half pounds. I was in labour for over 70 hours, 40 of which were in the hospital (needed the synto drip, in the end and for anyone interested, it did not make contractions more painful).

I had asked for plenty of time in the second stage on my birth plan, which was honoured. I pushed for three hours without success. DH (who had a peak at the business end) said that baby was so far up, and not budging at all, that he KNEW this baby wasn't going to come out soon. The obstetrician eventually said it'd have to be forceps.

And so it was, which went fine. Ten and half pounds of baby was pulled from me, baby was fine (albeit a bit of grazing from the forceps and mahoose bruise on his arm where he presumably had got stuck) but the episiotomy scar healed without issue and sex was never painful afterwards. As a result of the forceps, I now have a bladder prolapse and very poor continence and a lousy sex life (it's a bit like being impotent, but as a woman).

I'm keen to hear from others who had large babies and forceps deliveries on how their second go went. The midwife reckons I would be unlikely to have two forceps deliveries (I am terrified of sustaining more damage down there than I already have - obstetricians only care as far as the birth - the aftermath for the woman seems not to be on their radar). Would I be better off insisting on a c-section if baby fails to make progress down the birth canal? Maybe I'm worrying for nothing and the next one will be easy delivery. The size of baby seems to be a genetic thing (from DH's side of the family) so I'm likely to have another bumper baby.

DH is very keen for me to have an elective c-section. I think he's still traumatised by it all. He witnessed the whole thing, whereas I was so delirious from sleep deprivation and exhaustion I'd have signed a form to say they could remove my head if it meant getting the baby out.

In short, I'm petrified I'm going to have another forceps delivery and my poor lady parts are going to be in tatters and I'll be as continent as the newborn.

learnasyougo Sat 18-Jan-14 18:03:16

I ought to add, for those reading who are approaching their first birth - don't think mine is the norm. Yours is extremely unlikely to follow the pattern mine did.

Ericadm Sat 18-Jan-14 22:05:51

Following this tread. I had a forceps delivery too with my first which resulted in a third degree tear. I was told I could be bowel incontinent but gladly things healed ok. Terrified of another forceps delivery as I may not be so lucky next time. I have written in birth plan that I really prefer emergency section to forceps and asked an elective section if I go over the due date and baby very big. The thing that worries me most is that first baby was less than 6 pounds so I have no confidence I can birth even a normal sized baby, let alone a huge one!!

Coveredinweetabix Sat 18-Jan-14 22:10:26

DC1 was only 8lbs13 but with an off the chart head so was a forceps delivery & I tore. DC2 was over a lb lighter, a significantly smaller head & came out in two pushes 26mins after we got to hospital. And we only went to hospital because I was uncomfortable and 11 days overdue so when I rang the hospital to confirm details of my induction the following day they said they were quiet so I may as well go in to be checked. I didn't actually know I was in labour.

FlossieTreadlight Sat 18-Jan-14 22:21:28

I'm watching this with interest after a forceps delivery and 3b tear..

shobby Sat 18-Jan-14 22:25:53

First baby 8lb 8oz at 36 wks, pushed for two hours (refused to stop!) with Dd not moving at all, ended up with a failed ventouse then forceps delivery as her heart rate started to object and I was knackered.

2nd baby term and 9lb 10oz, pushed him out in 20 minutes.....1 stitch only, elated!

PermanentMenstrualTension Sat 18-Jan-14 22:28:23

I understand your situation as we debated a c section for DC2 after induction and 3rd degree tear and forceps for DC1, 12 days over, 8lb14. I had some discomfort when having sex for several months which felt like the stitches might have been a little tight. This eased around the same time as I got PG with DC2 10 months later.

DC2, 8lb15, 10 days over, arrived in text book manner, 6h from start to finish and without a scratch on either of us.

I still have v minor incontinence 7 years and DC3 later(unplanned home birth, no probs), ie have to brace myself for a sneeze or cough and wouldn't go trampolining but otherwise fine.

Ultimately it is very unlikely you would have the same protected labour again and if you know you will have help after the birth then a c section could be the way forward and least worrying but if like I was you're on your own (DH wonderful but sadly did not have 6 weeks off) with a very small DC1 and newborn then maybe the old fashioned way is best.

Best of luck and, you know, whatever you decide will turn out fine in the end.

PermanentMenstrualTension Sat 18-Jan-14 22:29:48

Sorry meant protracted labour. X

Strongecoffeeismydrug Sun 19-Jan-14 03:35:38

Big baby and forceps for first
ELCS for second
ELCS ( in 2 weeks ) for thirdwink
Recovered much quicker with ELCS than I did with first so didn't hesitate to ask for a section this time

Pooks123 Sun 19-Jan-14 16:02:59

You don't say when your baby is due but if you have time look at your diet and reduce carbs and dairy. Also there is a great thing called the Epi-no which really helps with previous instrumentals. Enjoy your pregnancy, get lots of exercise and swim to get your baby in a great position No 2 is nearly always much easier than No1.

learnasyougo Sun 19-Jan-14 16:53:52

thank you for the input, everyone. I feel a bit more reassured.
I'm due in ten weeks.
How will cutting down on carbs and dairy help?

I had a long chat with my aunt. she had a very traumatic birth with her first and vowed she's never have children again. then she got pregnant by accident three years later and was terrified, but the birth was easy and she feels sort of healed from the experience. so I'm leaving slightly towards another vaginal over a section. If only I could know it will go well. the unknown is the scary part.

Wincher Sun 19-Jan-14 17:03:27

My first was 'only' 8lb13oz but was back to back and got stuck, so I had to have forceps to turn him and pull him out after a 36 hour labour. Second was a very easy home birth, 6 hours, only a small graze.

QuietNinjaTardis Sun 19-Jan-14 19:46:58

Ds was 8lb 14oz which is quite big for me as I'm not a big person. He got stuck and had to be dragged out with forceps. I had been pushing for two and a half hours and he was just not moving. Dd was born in the water pool after 15 minutes of pushing with no pain relief. Small tear that needed no stitches.

ajandjjmum Sun 19-Jan-14 19:57:12

8 lb 10 oz DS was forceps delivery.

7 lb 11 oz DD was born naturally (and very quickly!)

I'd asked my Dr. about the likelihood of another forceps delivery, and he said that he'd delivered many 1st babies using forceps but only one 2nd baby - so fingers crossed you'll be fine.

JanePurdy Sun 19-Jan-14 20:00:35

My first was 8lb13oz & forceps delivery after 26 hours. So many women told me that their first had been a forceps delivery but subsequent deliveries much easier. That was certainly true for me as my second was also 8lb13oz but was a 3 hour homebirth.

VelvetStrider Sun 19-Jan-14 20:00:37

Even bigger, but a lot easier and a second degree tear is a breeze in comparison!

Don't worry, second births are almost always quicker and easier. smile

Lovethesea Sun 19-Jan-14 20:13:10

I had an average sized first baby but malpositioned. Due to midwife error the position was thought to be fine and despite my pleas for more than gas and air and that it felt wrong I ended up with a six hour second stage, psychological trauma, bladder damage, urge incontinence I still have 5 years on, catheters, painful sex etc. I was insistent on an elcs before I got pregnant with number with the second and final child. The elcs was calm, painless and lovely. I recovered much better than the forceps, catheter, 10 months of physio and consultant care last time. Because it was elcs I had my mum and mil to stay to help with my toddler.

My gut feeling was number two would be stuck as well because of my shape. I had good reason not to trust medics to listen to me. I wanted to keep the next baby as safe as possible. I didn't want high rotational forceps near me ever again. My pelvic floor is almost nothing on one side, I can no longer run. I was told if you have ongoing symptoms it was wise to consider a section.

I wanted to avoid worsening the incontinence through more pelvic damage and to avoid double incontinence as I tore badly first time round.

Most second births are easier. Not all. Since I wanted only two kids I had no concerns about risks for any baby post csection. I just needed the second out safe with least injury to me. The sunroof had no scars, no weakness.

I was happy with my choice. Go with your gut feeling. I'd have loved a natural good birth but I felt I had a high chance of instruments and sheer baby squashing tearing damage en route out. So I chose the second best option elcs.

Chacha23 Sun 19-Jan-14 21:41:22

also big baby and forceps (and 3b tear) first time round, so following this thread with interest. ..

It sounds like a second forceps birth is unlikely, but I'd still like to know for my peace of mind: if the baby gets stuck again, can you ask for a c-section instead of forceps? Would they listen? Really do NOT want forceps anywhere near my lady bits ever again sad

learnasyougo Sun 19-Jan-14 21:53:26

my research indicates that in theory you can insist on no forceps, but if the baby is already a fair way down the birth canal then a c section would be very dangerous. imagine baby had an arm up to the face and you can see you'd never be able to pull that, with . elbow, back through the pelvis for a c section delivery. at least not without risk.

PenguinsDontEatKale Sun 19-Jan-14 21:58:07

I had a 9 lber first time, similar labour to yours (although, thankfully, only very minor issues afterwards. So sorry to hear about your health problems). I had a very straightforward homebirth second time round.

In your situation though, I would probably have chosen the ELCS. Just because I couldn't know. So I understand why you are considering it.

Ericadm Sun 19-Jan-14 22:04:44

I think it depends on how urgent the delivery is and how far down the baby is. I put on my plan something like 'I DO NOT want forceps. I strongly prefer a cs. If concerns arise during the birth please discuss with me/partner early so that options rather than forceps can still be considered.' There is no guarantee though.

Chacha23 Mon 20-Jan-14 12:42:45

Thanks for the replies, learnasyougo and Ericadm. Makes sense, I guess.

But it's only very mildly reassuring... it just boggles my mind that in this day and age we can send robots to Mars, but we can't get babies out without using a medieval torture instrument. Grrr.

learnasyougo Mon 20-Jan-14 17:20:45

our have wireless foetal monitors. That stupid belt around my belly and being stuck on a bed made my contractions unnecessarily more painful (I know, because the moment I took it off and walked about the pain dropped and baby's heart rate dropped back to normal levels). I do wonder whether, had I not been confined to a bed for 8 hours my Labour might have progressed more quickly.

astyinmyeye Mon 20-Jan-14 17:27:23

My first delivery was a forceps one, baby was 9 pounds 15.

Second time, I had the very bad idea to have an home birth and she was 10 pounds 6, it was really bad down there.

learnasyougo Mon 20-Jan-14 18:38:41

a sty: I was meant to have a home birth for ds1 (10lbs 5), too. the only reason I was in the hospital during labor was because I was booked for a scan to check the placenta, as I was 14 days overdue.

did you get a transfer or did you rider it out at home?

Brave of you to have a home birth after pushing a 9+ lber out.
how did your labours compare?

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