I'll try to keep it as short as I can. Just after advice as to what you would do in this situation.
This is real by the way as you'll probably think I'm making this up when you read it.
So DS1 (age 10) was bullied all through year 5 by this kid and the school did fairly little about it. I intervened a few times and eventually it seemed to stop. A couple weeks ago however it started up again, lets call this bully AholeKid for the purpose of this story.
So AholeKid had recently asked DS's older sister out (shes 14!!) can't blame him for trying. So at school the next day DS was ribbing AholeKid about this. Lets face it, he set himself up a bit there. But I don't condone any teasing of any kind just so we're clear.
So AholeKid gets angry at DS and starts punching him. He shoved his head into a wall and hit him a few times until DS was able to get him off and DS ran off. AholeKid gave chase, caught him and starts beating on him again. DS shoved him off, a teacher came over and AholeKid ran off.
So, obviously teacher was asking what happened, gathered various child witnesses and they established that DS was teasing AholeKid and AholeKid got mad and started punching.
Following so far?
So DS had a trip to the headteacher where he was given a 'yellow card' (yellow cards can add up to red cards if given too many and mean there is a punishment of some kind) He was given it for the teasing.
But.... AholeKid got nothing. No card, no punishment, nothing. So DS got punished, missed his football game and AholeKid was out there playing and having fun and goading DS about not getting punished for beating him up.
I thought, there must be more to it than this so I went to the school the next day to find out their version. And OMG it matched my son's version exactly.
The reason they gave for only punishing DS was because (these are the teachers exact words, I recorded the convo on my phone)
AholeKid has anger management issues and DS knows this so he should not have made him angry. It was DS's fault he got beat up and he was lucky he was not left in a bloody mess on the floor as he knows what AholeKid is like!!!
Oh theres more...............
AholeKid was rewarded I kid you not - the word used was rewarded because he 'removed himself from the situation when he did, before causing DS too much damage and they wanted to reiterate to him that that was the right thing to do'
I still can't understand how I didn't knock the teachers head off. I felt like screaming are you fucking kidding me??? Not slamming my kids head into a wall in the first place is the right thing to do!
I'm still fuming.
So the fact that DS removed himself first and AholeKid gave chase apparantly stands for nothing.
I assured the teacher their method of 'reward' isn't bloody working and whats more it undermines everything we stand for as parents. We teach our kids not to hit and yet school is telling him its OK if you don't hit too much.
My DS often has said that the naughty kids at school get picked to join in loads more stuff and that he should start being naughty. I mentioned this to the lovely head teacher and she said (again I have it recorded on my phone)
' We do have to offer greater rewards to these types of children to encourage them to be good'
OMFG. I offered DS the chance to not go back to that school but he has friends there and wants to see out the rest of year 6. I have already put in an application for DS2 to move schools.
I just can't believe it. Yeah DS should not have teased, but surely hitting was much much worse. When little AholeKid has a girlfriend in a few years and she gets a bit mouthy off at him, is it ok for him to hit her then?? If he doesn't do it too much? Afterall she must know what he's like and effectively is asking for it.
What would you do? I feel so sad for my DS having had to put up with this crap for the last 2 years.
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Bullying
The school just rewarded the bully
45 replies
kingpin20 · 14/02/2017 13:54
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