i'm going to have to go out and get some formula if this doesn't get any better.

[bumperlicious]

dd is 14 weeks. i've posted recently about our feeding problems but it is just continuing. she just cried uncontrollably for an hour, she couldn't seem to latch on, or if she did she gave a couple of sucks then cried again. i have had to give her some ebm (bang goes my early night - again). i had 5 oz which she guzzled, cried when finished now is zonked out over my shoulder.

don't know what to do. bf group isn't till tuesday, but even then they didn't really know what to do. bf councellor said don't make a big deal and try other breast, but that was 2 weeks ago when it was just the left side. now it is both.

dh has now said this can't go on and we sould put her on bottles as i rang him up crying. he doesn't think anyone can help (they don't seem to be able to) we are going to talk about when he gets home in an hour. i don't want to stop but this is ridiculous.

tried calling lll but couldn't really talk as dd & i both too upset. she has given me her no. to call back later. saw hv today who gave me no. for hostpital ward to speak to bf counsellor but just an answer phone. sorry this is disjointed, but i'm a the end of the line. i really don't want to have to stop. please help.

[StealthPolarBear]

sorry no advice but bump
at very least call bf counsllor and leave message saying how desperate you are

[tiktok]

Bump, I am so sad to read your post....I am not sure what the issue is, though I guess it is soreness, is that right? Or is it the baby not staying on?

There is no substitute for a good long talk about it - the LLL lady will not mind a bit if you have a weep in the middle, believe me. You can call her back - she said you could. My money would be on her being more help than the bfc at the hospital whose expertise will be with little babies, not babies aged 14 weeks, unless she is also a bfc with one of the vol orgs.

I am afraid I can't tell from your post what might be going on, so I'm being useless, I know....that's why you need to have a dialogue with someone.

Hope you can do so tonight.

[StealthPolarBear]

is it always like this or better during the night?

[bumperlicious]

thanks both. spb, it's been like this on and off for 2 weeks, one day it was every feed. this was the first time today. well, actually this is the first time it was this bad. i'm getting used to switching breasts all the time as and when she decides to feed from them.

it's not pain,not for me anyway. just not latching on. or going on then coming off and not going back on. mostly she will feed eventually but this is the 3rd time i've had to give her ebm.

oh, she's all smiles now...but i just want to go to bed. i have a headache from crying and her screaming.

[bumperlicious]

oh and the bfc is the same one who does my group on a tuesday.

i have no more ebm so can't get a break. how detrimental would it be to give her a bottle of formula last thing then start afresh tomorrow?

[oatcake]

You poor thing. Remember the supply and demand rule of thumb. The more you get the babe to the breast, the more milk you'll produce. It'll all work out in the end, and no, whatever anyone says, it's not the end of the world to give a bottle tonight. Tomorrow's a new day.

I started training with the association of breastfeeding mothers. They were a bit too radical for my tastes, but they were bloody good at giving advice:

Counselling Hotline

08444 122 949

The ABM's breastfeeding helpline is open every day from 9.30am to 10.30pm. All our telephone breastfeeding counsellors are volunteers who have breastfed their own children and have also received in depth training on all aspects of breastfeeding.

[Lorayn]

BUMP!!!ADVICE NEEDED!!

At 14 weeks, if you are really desperate, a bottle of formula would not be too awful!!!
I agree with what everyone else says, talk to the experts!
If you are going to give formula, try to use the special teats which are more like nipples and milk that is more like breast milk than regular sma(sorry, not sure what they are but I'm sure someone else will be able to tell you!)
Most importantly, you have managed 14 weeks so far, it is best for the baby that you do continue, but the baby has already had a huge benefit from it.

[bubblepop]

bump! wheres tik tok ??

[bumperlicious]

ok, she has just fed now as well as the 5oz of ebm. don't know what else to do. i really don't want to stop. just ried calling the bf woman back but she is engaged. will try again later. dh back so at least he can take over.

Thanks for your support. I was just so desperate earlier when she was screaming and I feel so tired and have a headache (probably a burst eardrum too!). She has fed now, so that's the worry temporarily over.

[JandDmom]

Hi Bump.
You're probably getting a few needed zzzzs now, but I wanted to relate my experience. My oldest, 7 now, (and no he's not still on the breast!), was a dream. Latched on right after birth and never looked back. DS2, now 2, (and no he's not on breast either!), was a nightmare. Wouldn't latch on, huge pain for me and then I got mastitis (sp?). Went to one bf group and they told me to change the way I fed him. I had the world's greatest midwife who helped me get to grips with the new angle. I had to hold him like a rugby ball, on the side. He resisted at first, then was okay. He got his first tooth at 6 months, bit both boobs and that was the end of bf. He's been on formula since. I always gave him at least one bottle a day with either ebm or formula, so he'd be used to a bottle. He's always been in the 90th percentile for both weight and height and sleeps just great.

Okay, enuf about me. A very good friend of mine tried to bf w/ both her kids. No luck. She felt just awful for not doing it. So much outside pressure to bf. Books, TV, other mums, health visitor, etc...She was in tears every day. Both her kids, now 6 and 4 are perfect in every way. My husband was bottle fed from the get go. (He's got lots of faults, but none directly related to bottle feeding!)

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if it's not working, why put yourself through it? You'd be happier and your daughter would be too if you relaxed and just did what was natural, for "you" that is. If bf is right, you'll know and if bottle is best, then great. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Too much stress won't help with the bf or the bottle for that matter.

Just my opinion...
JandDmom

[Jackstini]

Bumper - keep trying the helplines - try the ABM one if LLL are still busy.
Is she able to get your nipple into her mouth ok? As a last resort you could try a nipple shield for something more for her to grab onto if she's tired. I would stress they are not for everyone or every bf issue but it did work for me and I am still bf-ing dd at 18mo
Anyway, just wanted to say well done for keeping it up so far and hopefully someone else will be along with more experience to help you more.

[Carotte]

Bumperlicious - Sorry you are feeling like this. It is hard but so much easier when you get the right support.

I phoned LLL today as I have mastitis and the lady I spoke to was wonderful, really inciteful and friendly. I kept redialling the helpline till I spoke to one person as there were a few answerphones and then when we did speak Lo was crying too so she said did I want to call her back.

I phoned her after I'd had a bath and we had a good chat and she said I could just ring her from now on with any more problms and she'd like to know how I'd got on.

It was such a relief to speak to someone knowlegable and know I could ring her again. Please do call yours back I'm sure she will have very good advice. Hope you feel better soon.

[moondog]

Hi Bump.
Sorry things are rocky for you at the moment.
Please call again or try ABM.
08444 122 949

XX

[bumperlicious]

just spoke to her, she was really nice. could be a number of reasons, but possibly low milk supply or slow let down. going to try feeding her more often to build it up and try massage or flannels to encourage the let down.

i started doing weight watchers 2 weeks ago, and even though you get lots of extra points for bfing could that have affected my milk supply? i've stopped anyway, i don't have the energy for it at the moment.

thanks for the advice & support.

[Carotte]

God, the last thing you need atm is to be counting points! Your baby is still so little and there's loads of time to lose weight. You need to relax and eat good food and feed often and hopefully the supply will build up.

My eight month old used to be a bit like that on my left side when he was around 2 or 3 months. He would suck a bit and then fuss and cry. A cranial ost helped us with that, don't know if you've tried it. Worth bearing in mind if not.

[bumperlicious]

Thanks carotte, saw a CO at the beginning due to wind problems but may go back.

I have recently been diagnosed with an overactive thyroid, does anyone know if that can affect the milk supply?

[Carotte]

I don't know about the thyroid, but we have been several times to the ost. Sometimes when they have a growth spurt any compression can resurface, or something. We definitely had some treatments around that age though. I'd go back to the CO as well as aiming to improve supply.

[tori32]

Bump, it possibly can affect milk supply because its a hormone secreting organ. Also hyperthyroidism usually results in people losing weight, if untreated, due to increase in metabolism (hormonal). If this happens then the body burns more calories, so if you have been eating the same as before the body will still burn more calories. This is without cutting calories from dieting.

[barefeete]

I have just stopped BF after 6 and a half months of supply problems. I fed DS 2 years ago with no problems at all and in fact had more milk than my antenatal group put together. But this just wasn't the same with DD unfortunately.

Stress doesn't help so you need to get yourself sorted out and at least get a rest so that you can start again.

Formula isn't the worst thing but only you can make that decision for you and your baby. Breast feeding is a beautiful experience and i really hope that if that is what you want you can work it out, perserve and experience the really lovely benifits of BF your baby for awhile longer.

I am sorry that i can be of any practical help to you but i don't feel that i should sway you in any direction and it really is your choice and decision. Get some professional help day and night when you need it most. That is what they are there for.

Try to relax, drink and eat lots. cake worked wonders for me and a big dinner and pint after pint of water. Get into bed with DD and rest together.
Hugs help too with DH

[Cadmum]

I can't let this go without what amounts to another bump. I doubt that I can contribute much that has not been suggested.

First: You have done brilliantly for getting this far. 14 weeks is amazing even if you don't have trouble. If you can get this far, you can continue if you persevere.

Second: Be kind to yourself. Follow the advice in the post above about cake...Yummy!

Does your dd seem to be in discomfort? Could it possibly be thrush or reflux if she is crying part way through a feed. (forgive me if this has been covered in your other threads...)

Are you feeling concerned about your supply for any reason other than her crying (and the usual mother worry?).

I have bf our four dc and they were all so very different from the get-go. I really struggled with DB4 and found the advice here invaluable (particularly from tiktok.)

[newgirl]

all such great advice

my experience was that my feeds late evening were not as good as earlier probably due to tiredness and needing food so that might be a factor?

also after a few weeks i did introduce a bottle of formula in the evening - this helped me rest. I was able to do all the other feeds myself right up to nine months so it is not the end of the world - baby still gets loads of benefits as does mum x

[mower]

bumperlicious just wanted to say if this was a 6 months ago it would have sounded like me and ds. Am really sorry to say have no answers but just wanted to let you know I have been there and remember just how awful it was. I tried everything and it all seemed to be hit and miss sometimes he would feed off me really well, sometimes he would take a bottle of ebm. I tried him with formula as I was at my wits end but he would only take a little bit and then did the same on the bottle as what he did on the breast, for ds it seemed like when the milk came down he just couldn't cope with it. He only feed well when he was really tired.

What I used to do which worked for me and ds was to give him a dummy to calm him down then quietly switch him to the breast. He would never feed if he was in a state and just used to get worse and worse. Don't know how I would have got through those early days without a dummy!

Now ds is 11 months and we are still breast feeding and feeding problems just subsided but not till he was about 6 months. Tried stopping bf to make things easier but just made things even worse, case of the grass looks greener on the otherside I think. Ds stopped haveing a dummy at 3 months and now sucks his thumb which was another releif that he had his own tools to calm himself.

How are the nightimes for you? Do you get much sleep?

[daisyandbabybootoo]

bumper, bug hugs to you. you are doing a fab job with her you know, but you just need to SLOW DOWN. Take a few days out and babymoon, and get DH to lay in supplies tonight so you've got no excuse to leave the house tomorrow.

I hope you can get some help from the helpline people on where to go from here, and if you want to give her some formula so that you can have a decent night, then do it. My DH gave some to DD when she was about six weeks old as I was too exhausted, and she had some again last week after she had hoovered up all the ebm and was still hungry after I was delayed at the shops.

For me, I feel like I've finally turned a corner at 16 weeks, so try and hang in there for a few more weeks, it can get better

And I hope the thyroid thing is starting to resolve itself.

Get yourself off for a massage/facial/manicure at the weekend to pep yourself up, you deserve a break

[daisyandbabybootoo]

bug, I mean big hugs

[ChristmasPud]

Bumper,

Just to say you are doing a great job and to second the eat cake suggestions. I ate loads of fruit cake, drank lots of water, ate lots of porrage. You will find that your appetite will reduce later on. At the moment just go with what you need and what you fancy! And that goes for non bfing mums at this stage too.

Hope things get easier for your little one.