can someone be kind to me please?

[geordiemacminx]

3 1/2 week old baby, been feeding almost ever hour all day, wont settle or sleep, tried infacol, I'm utterly and totaly worn out, my nipples are killing me, been out and got some sma stuff, although I havent given him it yet, feel like such a failure that I cant even look after my own baby - dont know what to do... dp taken him out for a walk for a little whilen so I can relax... even bought blody ciggarettes at the shop - I've been given up a year. Sorry for the ramble - just wanting some support. sorry

[EllieK]

Joe did this at 3 weeks, it's a growth spurt age I think, and he's been doing it today, at 6 weeks.

I'm feeling low cos of it too but he has eventually fallen asleep

I did give Joe a couple of feeds of formula at about 3 weeks, when I needed a break, but it doesn't mean you're a failure, and if you need a break then 1 f feed won't harm him

[Katymac]

GeordieMac - someone will be here soon

I promise

BF is an 8yo memory for me, so I can't help

[Rubyslippers]

sounds like a huge growth spurt and normal
give him a feed and then swaddle him - this may help to settle him and you can both get some rest

[shonaspurtle]

Oh love, it's bloody hard isn't it. You are doing amazingly well. Are you getting any breastfeeding support? Would it be useful to you? Details of some groups here. I can recommend the support at the Queen Mother's. The drop in session is 1-3 tommorrow, West Wing.

Stick in there. Do whatever gets you through. Give yourself a huge pat on the back for getting this far.

[lyndyloo]

Listen - you need to think - you have a 3 wk old baby, no wonder you are frazzled! My LO was the same, fed hourly for up to 50 mins in the first few weeks. I was totally knackered, beyond the edge of madness at times BUT it got better. Your LO is still tiny and needs her mummy. All that feeding you are doing is doing her the world of good.

As for the sleep. Does he never sleep? Are you winding her (sorry if stating the obvious). Could just be a major growth spurt. I used to get the signals for feeding and sleeping wrong and just kept feeding when sometimes I think she just needed to be put in a cot. Maybe you could try? Or take him out in the car? I used to drive to Tesco's car park. Park somewhere at the back of the car park when she feel asleep and while she slept in car, I put the seat down and snoozed too! or read a magazine!

Lo taking her out is good. Sleep when you can. Forget the housework. Get someone else to do the cooking and just feed and sleep if you can - I know it's hard. Feed lying down on the double bed so you can doze while she does.

Can you see a bf counsellor re your sore nips? Maybe positioning needs altered. Ask your HV why he may be unsettled. Could be wind but poss reflux?


Please keep your chin up. I found when I had my LO that is was the hardest thing I had ever done and like you was desperate at the start. Then eventually things just started to fall into a routine.

Keep BFing if you can, you are probably having a blip. If you do end up FFIng don't beat yourself up. Good luck.

[geordiemacminx]

thank you - you've all made me cry - but in a nice way. Running a bath so hopefully once I have wallowed in there things will seem better.

Is the SMA gold stuff ok? I got the cartons, also got the hungry baby blue stuff as well - just in case?

[lyndyloo]

Sorry - mixing my genders up in last post! I know your LO is a boy!

[deestingsduznotappen]

I kept a bf diary the first few weeks and can see now that I was feeding for approx 16hours out of 24.

For sanity, my husband toook LO from 9pm til 12am every eve while I had 3 hours consec sleep, and fed him formula when was hungry. I expressed once a day to keep bf supply up and eventually built up enough for my husband to use ebm!

After 6 weeks, my LO was back to being b/f exclusively! It's not an all or nothing situation!

Not telling you to do what I did by the way, just sharing! HTH

[tutu100]

This will probably not help at all but once I realised that it was normal for bf babies to feed this much I felt a bit better. Doesn't help your nipples or desire for sleep though. DP and I took it in turns to sleep I would do a feed and then sleep whilst dp took ds out for a walk. The two things that really helped us were a £5 rainmaker from ELC (something to do with babies liking white noise - ds loved it and it really calmed him down), and a vibrating bouncer. As everyone else has said it sounds like a growth spurt. Honestly it will get much easier soon. You are doing really well. Are you able to collect mlik using breast shells from the side that you feed from 2nd. I would collect milk throughout the day for dp to give ds a feed during the night, it meant I got a bit of a longer sleep and didn't have the faff of expressing.

Hang in there you are doing great. But chuck the fags in the bin. You don't need those.

[EllieK]

sma is fine GMM, tho some babies find it a bit rich, you won't want the hungry baby stuff yet, i found that since that sticky patch a few weeks ago, just knowing it was in the cupboard has given me the confidence to keep bf and i haven't used it since!

[hotbot]

Geordie. first of all congratulations on your little one, ,,babies are very hard work esp los, you sound as if you are doing a wonderful job, you really are giving lo the best start by bfing, you are not a failure, at all, 3 weeks is a fantastic time, get some advice from bfing clinics or ntc..... ask,ask ask, if you are determined to bf.You are really setting up your milk supply by all of this feeding - well done you
On the other hand , dont feel too bad if you resort to some formula.
good luck, and all new mums, me included feels like this at some point, but arent they wonderful, and arent you clever!!!1

[fishie]

have a nice glass of wine (you can drink while bf if you want to, best not to get legless in case of night feeds) and a rest.

get lansinoh ointment for nipples and ring one of the advice lines for some extra info and support. give formula if you want, i'm sure he'll scoff it but bear in mind he might well want more bf for comfort anyway.

it is so horrible at first, confusing and scary and over responsible, especially when ungrateful little baby just screams on and on and dp expects you to be 'expert' (well mine did anyway). but it does get lots better very soon and you'll be giving advice to newer mothers yourself.

[prawnsmum]

Hi geordie please please please dont feel like a failure you are doing great I totally understand how you are feeling. I remember lying in the bath crying one evening when my DS was a few weeks old all he wanted to do was feed all day and I just wanted 30 mins to relax and all I could hear was him screaming downstairs for more food it was awful! I know you'll have heard it before but it DOES get better.
In my case, which im not saying you should do, my Dh ended up giving him a bottle of formula for his last feed at night which worked for us- but I know this is not for everyone.I felt this took alot of pressure off me-I knew that no matter how bad I felt during the day with the constant feeding I would have some 'me' time at night.
My son was also what my HV called a 'sucky' baby- he was born with blisters on his hand from sucking before he was even born!!!So aginst what I always said I would try not to do I gave him a dummy which helped LOADS!!
Someone with some more advice will be along soon im sure.
thinking of you and things will get easier im sure

[Lizzer]

I gave it to dd at this age,was in exactly the same state as you now, she wolfed it down and stopped crying then brought a lot back up. I know how you're feeling, I did feel like a failure, giving her poison etc etc BUT for the short time it did the trick, and did it occasionally after that too, and bfed for a year, so don't feel bad if you think he's hungry and you need a break, try it. You know yourself, you know your baby. Good luck

[oooggs]

hey hun - you are doing great. Can't advise on bf as you well know, just wanted to give hugs and praise.

I have a tube of Kamillosan and two thirds of a box of breast pads you can have to cheer you up just email me oooggs at hotmail dot co dot uk

[whenwillisleepagain]

Hope you had that bath! Just wanted to add my support, you are doing so well. DS is 6 months now, and I bf exclusively for 16 weeks. With hindsight I can see he was really quite hungry for a lot of those weeks and I wish I'd introduced formula earlier - we were both miserable and worn out with constant feeding. Like some of the other women on this thread I thought that formula was a bad thing, but you can use it to give yourself a break. The constant feeding thing is overwhelming though, and you musn't add to the overwhelmingness by beating yourself up.

[geordiemacminx]

had a bath, feeling better, have half a wee bottle of rose in the fridge that is probably off but I think I will finish off anyways... Its so nice to have a network of friends that can be so kind

[mumoftwoangels]

Anyone who has ever tried to bf will know how frustrating it can be! Well done for even trying. Throw the fags away though. It has been 6.5 years for me, i gave up as soon as told about dd on the way!

I used cartons of ready made with my dd2 and bf too. Sorry can't remember what brand.

[mozhe]

Is it your first ?
Can you retire to bed on a babymoon for a couple of days ?
Ring NCT or LLL and ask them to put you in touch with a breastfeeding counsellor...as your positioning/latching on might notbe quite right..
You're doing well and ultimately it is your decision...your baby is going to be ok whatever you do.
Now try and relax...nice hot bath and glass of red wine...

[Ettenna]

geordiemac, my lo is 10 weeks and I'm only just recovering from the three week experience!! I felt like I was going nuts but I can honestly say even 7 weeks has made a huge difference to him and me. It's so so hard at first but just keep thinking of all the fun you're going to have with him when he's past this difficult first bit - that's what I did. It's still hard and tiring but so great too. x

[whomovedmychocolate]

Geordie - don't give up, honestly the first six weeks are absolutely sodding hell for everyone and EVERYONE thinks they don't have enough milk.

Whatever you decide to do, try and keep breastfeeding, honestly it does get easier, my DD is seven months old now and I'm still nursing her and it's the easiest thing in the world but it took me a good twelve weeks to get my milk supply up.

Have you considered trying a dummy too, he may actually need to suck more than feed?

[eca]

hey GMM

You sound exhausted sweetie. T did this at 3weeks and I think he is just hotting up for his 6week feedathon. Hot baths with essential oils are getting me through (lavander and clary sage). Have you got any rescue remedy flower essences? I found that really helped (flower essences got me through labour without pain relief, so I'm a bit of a convert).

I know this sounds obvious, but try not to do other stuff if you can when it gets like this. Grab some magazines and put the tv in the bedroom and rest up.

You're doing really well. Hang in there. Thinking of you. xxx

[MrsJohnCusack]

lots of good advice here, hang in there....

but cut those cigs up (so you can't retrieve them) and chuck them in the bin! YOU DO NOT NEED THEM!

bet it's a growth spurt, just givr in to it (I'm there at the moment with my 11 week old and very Not Impressed toddler)

[zazas]

Gmm - I feel for you, it is tough going isn't it? MY DS at 3 weeks was a nightmare - fed him day and night, I considered stopping and I had fed my DD until 16 months so was pretty commited to the whole thing. He was just a hungry baby and like others have told you - things settle down eventually but it is often just a matter of survival those first 6 weeks or so.

This one (DD - 5 weeks) wants to suck all the time but I have learnt to put her down to sleep - she is often just tired not hungry - it takes time to recognise the difference though.

And you are so not a failure - just a new mother with a tiny baby both trying to find your way - pretty normal really

[SmileyMylee]

You're doing great, it sounds like a growth spurt. My DD1 was very similar. Things I tried which might help. Stayed in bed and did nothing but rest and feed (and watched videos of Eastenders - but this bit not essential!) Delayed feeds as long as possible to give nipples time to recover and build up more milk to fill babies tummy. Very sucky baby - my little finger delayed things for at least 15 / 20 minutes! Had a swinging Graco chair which saved my life. Baby would sleep in it for at least 3 hours without feeding. Had a spray thing which I sprayed on nipples, this took away the agony when she latched on. Gave a bottle of formula occasionally to buy me a bit more time. Expressed in the morning when I had loads of milk, and got hubby to give it at 9pm so that I could get a bit of sleep. DH took baby for a walk round the garden and gave a bath to buy me another 30 minutes before desperate for a feed. Put baby next to washing machine or dryer - delayed feed for about 10 minutes.

Hope some of this helps. Main thing is it does get easier - for me it was 6 weeks with my three.