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Mums night out

(37 Posts)
firsttimemum15 Thu 06-Oct-16 13:13:53

There's a meal out I'd like to go to. It's not far away so if anything goes wrong I can come home.

But baby will be 10mo she's BF and a bottle refuser. I've no real need to pursue a bottle but I'd like to go to this evening out.

I would express milk and leave it. Finding time to do this on a daily basis to get baby used to it is tough. I wouldn't want to start giving whole bottles as I don't want supply to drop.

Any tips for making this a success so it doesn't end in tears for us both. The bedtime feed is probably the hardest one for someone else to do because it gives babies such comfort.

Orsono Thu 06-Oct-16 15:04:49

Your supply won't drop if you give the occasional bottle at 10 months, it is well established by now. But you don't need to express a whole bottle to start trying to get her used to it, you could just express a small amount at a time and try her with that. Straight after a feed in the morning seems to be a good time to express for a lot of people. It can take a bit of gentle perseverance to get them to take a bottle, but if she really won't, you could try a sippy cup.

In the worst case scenario, she doesn't take a bottle for the evening that you're out, but that's not the end of the world.

firsttimemum15 Thu 06-Oct-16 16:04:12

It's not the end of the world no but she wouldn't feed and that means she wouldn't go to bed and would be upset.

I know it won't affect supply giving an occasional bottle but it's a lot of hassle to express and give a bit of a bottle in the build up with all the sterilising etc

luckiestgirl Thu 06-Oct-16 16:13:40

How far away? Could DH bring baby for a last feed in the car? Or could you nip home and be back within half an hour? Depends on timings I suppose

StrawberryQuik Thu 06-Oct-16 18:26:12

Does she like water from a sippy cup? Or even an open cup? If she likes cups already then I would express into a cup to see if she's more likely to take it.

firsttimemum15 Thu 06-Oct-16 19:10:50

Yes will take small amounts of water from a sippy cup just anxious as to how the nighttime feed will work from a cup/bottle. X

IamChipmunk Fri 07-Oct-16 07:19:52

As someone had said, can anyone bring her to you? My dh did this for me a couple of times so I could go out. It worked well with our bottle refuser.

firsttimemum15 Fri 07-Oct-16 08:10:32

If he brought her she wouldn't do a sleepy right let's go to bed feed she would be wide awake then probably upset at home so it wouldn't work and also defeats the object really as it won't be a long night out by any means x

Orsono Fri 07-Oct-16 09:59:52

You don't need to sterilse bottles or pump parts at 10 months - hot soapy water or the dishwasher is fine, if that makes expressing less hassle.

I know from experience how difficult it can be to organise this kind of thing when they're small, but if you're not keen on expressing because it's a hassle, don't want to give formula, aren't sure about cup feeding and don't want her brought to you, I'm not sure what the solution is. I think if you want to go out (and why shouldn't you) you might have to accept that she might have an unsettled evening. As long as the person looking after her gives her cuddles and does what they can to comfort her, she'll be fine. My DS isn't hugely keen on a bottle, so the first time I went out I expressed small amounts to get him more used to it. He did take a bit while I was out, but not much, and didn't sleep. I came home to DP looking rather frazzled. He handed me the baby with evident relief, DS had a big feed and they were both fine!

Gardencentregroupie Fri 07-Oct-16 10:04:19

At 10 months she'll be fine for a few hours without any milk, but your supply won't be affected if you leave her some formula. I left my bottle refuser when I went back to work at 8.5 months. She never did take a bottle but her and DH muddled through and it was ok. There's no reason why you can't go out. Just accept she might be a bit upset but she'll be well cared for by her dad, and you can feed her when you get home.

camena Fri 07-Oct-16 10:09:40

I agree with Garden, just go, your baby will be ok especially as it's just one night. She'll be with her dad and you won't be gone for long.

I left my bottle refusing 5.5 month old with DH when I needed to go back to work, and the two of them managed fine. There was a bit of screaming but eventually DD figured out that in the absence of boobs she could actually handle a bottle.

firsttimemum15 Fri 07-Oct-16 10:11:55

Yes maybe she'll be ok camera. They're more resilient than we think

The thought of it is just hard x

knaffedoff Fri 07-Oct-16 10:19:27

I had a bottle refuser too. I went out regularly with mums, drove and stayed within a 15min radious just in case. I only once got caught out, it was the night I broke the rule to stay close to home and couldn't get home for 40 mins. When I did eventually get back, dad and baby were snuggled up together . No harm done.

Go and enjoy your night out :-)

firsttimemum15 Fri 07-Oct-16 10:52:05

Thanks the support and stories help

firsttimemum15 Sat 15-Oct-16 11:25:02

Worrying about this now.

Baby currently wakes 1 or 2 hours after going to bed and screeches with her dad until I go in. Often she just wants a cuddle

On a separate note I have struggled to get her in her own bed. Each night she ends up in my bed partly because I am tired partly because it is a struggle to get her back into her cot.

My back hurts from sleeping with her but we both manage to get some sleep. However it's starting to cause arguments between me and her dad

firsttimemum15 Sat 15-Oct-16 11:26:14

Knaffed off what did your bottle refuser take milk from

Artandco Sat 15-Oct-16 11:29:54

I would just go also.

Feed her before you leave at say 5pm.

Leave some expresse dmilk or formula carton at home. Dh can give her that from a cup if she wants. Or he can just give her dinner and water and she can sleep without. He can cuddle and rock to sleep

As an aside, I would suggest you stop feeding to sleep at this age. It will make it far easier to allow others to settle her if she's used to no feeds to sleep. Few din the day as usual, and give last feed at 6pm unrelated to bedtime. Then bedtime can be water or regular cows milk now in a cup, story and soothed to sleep.

Artandco Sat 15-Oct-16 11:32:34

Oh and if you don't feed to sleep you and Dh can alternate bedtime so she's used to both of you. I feel this is very important as you never know if you may have to be away in an emergency.

FYI mine both fed in the day until 3+ years. But tried to never feed to sleep or before bed. I do feel this helped with them both sleeping through the night early on, but could be a fluke

firsttimemum15 Sat 15-Oct-16 11:34:04

Cows milk isn't recommended until after 1 year old.

I'm sorry I don't share your view. I'm just looking for solutions for an ocassionwesr night out and not how to get my baby to sleep.

Feeding to sleep seems quite natural to me and doesn't give me a problem. There's no way she would just take tea and then water for bed. That would just make things traumatic all round especially if I'm Leaving her and if I do that every night for me and for her.

Thanks for taking the time to share your opinion though

firsttimemum15 Sat 15-Oct-16 11:35:33

PS I can't feed through day until 3 as I will be bk at work and don't think I'll want to feed a toddler. Will see how I feel though.

Thanks

Artandco Sat 15-Oct-16 11:52:14

Cows milk is recommended under 1 year, it just isn't recommended as main source of milk until after 1 year. You can make porridge etc and give cows milk as a drink from 6 months if you wanted.

At 10 months a baby needs around 3 bottles of formula a day or 3 breastfeeds. It's only because formula or breast milk contains more vitamins for under 1.Anything over than can be cows milk.

If your out for one evening, she will presumably be breastfed during the day beforehand, hence one cows milk drink will be fine.

I didn't say I fed my 3 year olds all day. I also work. From around 1 year they only had a feed twice a day before and after work. Down to once around 18 months. I meant that not feeding in the evening or overnight from 6 months didn't stop milk supply

firsttimemum15 Sat 15-Oct-16 12:11:44

Thanks. I wouldn't expect it to stop milk supply. But just generally looking for tips/reassurance about how to cope with my first time out without baby.

I'm grateful you've taken the time to offer your opinion. I really am but I am not looking for information about types of milk to give and how and when to breastfeed. I'm quite happy with how I am for the moment. Baby isn't 10 mo yet but will be just at time of evening out.

Not ready to think about day weaning yet as not back at work yet and I hope that will all just work out.

Just need to focus on my meal out for now. So back to the topic... can people please offer reassurance.

I'm not far if anything goes wrong I'll be able to come bk (although I'd like a drink ha if I'm driving I won't drink at all).

Just feeling apprehensive again

firsttimemum15 Sat 15-Oct-16 12:17:54

Here is the guidance from the NHS in the UK (where I am) about cows milk for under 1s:

"Cows' milk should not be given as a drink until a baby is a year old. This is because it doesn't contain the balance of nutrients a baby needs"

Just posting for info but as I say not wishing to continue a post about types of milk to give or not give my baby just wanting tips to enjoy a night out.

TIA

Artandco Sat 15-Oct-16 12:32:59

Yes that's what I said. But they only need 600ml max a day to get all nutrients. Hence if your breastfeeding as usual, an additional cows milk drink is fine. It's not fine to replace all breastmilk or formula as it doesn't contain enough iron. But to have alongside is fine.

Four4me Sat 15-Oct-16 12:35:33

I had my sil hen do when my DS was 10 months old. He was a bottle refusing boob monster, but was great with solids. I fed as normal before I went out. DH gave him some porridge, a yogurt and tried a bottle at bed time, which he didn't drink! I took a pump in my bag!!). It was fine, DS settled fine as he was full, but his was our fourth so he was quiet good at self settling smile

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