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why is co-sleeping supposed to be easier for bfing??

(80 Posts)
CamperFan Thu 09-Dec-10 11:31:50

By this I mean baby sleeping in the bed, not in the room. I would much prefer DS2 settled in his cot next to my bed, which he does during the first half of the night, not so much the second part of the night and often comes in my bed. What I don't understand is why people recommend sharing a bed to make bfing easier - you still need to wind baby, get up and change nappies, go to loo, swap sides, mop up copious amounts of sick all over the bedding, clothes etc (he is particularly pukey which is another issue entirely). So why is it better to share a bed, rather than feed in bed and transfer back to cot??

misscph1973 Thu 09-Dec-10 11:37:40

I always found it easier, because baby would just latch on and I would go straight back to sleep! Then again, I'm the lazy type, I will do anything for sleep.

I kept nappies etc in bedroom (and hand sanitiser) so unless it was a poo, I didn't have to leave the bedroom.

Later on, when she was 9 months old, that became a real problem as baby was so used to being in my bed that she didn't want to go in her own bed. I still did exactly the same with baby 2 as I never found another way that worked for me.

You do what works for you.

EatingAngelPie Thu 09-Dec-10 11:38:31

well, you don't actually need to do all of those things.

my baby starts the night in the cot next to me.

when she wakes at 5 ish, she feeds and then goes straight to sleep. she wears a boosted nappy which doesn't leak, and winding is unnecessary anyway (unheard of, i believe, in countries where BF is the societal norm, and i have never bothered.) i usually manage to swap sides without turning over, and then to back to sleep. all very easy.

when she had nappy rash i set an alarm to wake me enough to change the nappy, but since that cleared up need.

SirBoobAlot Thu 09-Dec-10 11:38:59

Its helpful for establishing breastfeeding. It means you don't have to be completely awake. If you've had stitches / are sore after the birth, you don't have to be getting up and down every hour to feed the baby. It gets you more sleep. Means baby can feel your heart beat. Means you can have a cuddle. Allows you to respond quicker to cries, so baby doesn't get stressed.

Goingspare Thu 09-Dec-10 11:45:53

It just depends on the mother and the baby. I used to get out of bed, caesarean stitches and all, with my co-sleeping newborn because I couldn't get her latched on properly unless I was sitting up in a chair. Then we'd get back into bed together, which was where she deigned to sleep.

Some mothers manage it all rather more elegantly than I did.

CMOTdibbler Thu 09-Dec-10 11:54:47

I didn't change ds unless pooey, didn't wind him, and he didn't puke in the night, so all that was required of me was to roll over at some point to change sides and the rest of the time I slept.

I did evict ds into his cot at some point when I woke up, and he started there, so we coslept part time. So as he went longer, he spent more time in his own bed

MoonUnitAlpha Thu 09-Dec-10 11:56:15

I never wind him at night, don't change nappies unless dirty, and only feed from one side - so it's just a case of poking a nipple in his direction and then going back to sleep.

CamperFan Thu 09-Dec-10 12:03:29

I guess it is different if your baby doesn't need winding or puke (mine does) and if they don't poo (again, mine does! only 6 weeks old). SirBoob, I found that when my stitches were sore, ie the first three weeks, this is when I had to definitely sit up in bed to feed, not lie down, to make sure latch was correct. Plus I always have to get up for the loo and get more water as feeding makes me so thirsty (and, TMI, trying to avoid getting constipated again.)

I just wondered if I was missing something because other than cuddling him back to sleep (which I worry about because of overheating?) I can't see the benefit. When I get up in the morning my bed feels like a great dirty mass of damp sheets, pukey cloths, tissues, etc!

TheBreastmilksOnMe Thu 09-Dec-10 12:09:15

I never winded DS, didn't need to as he prefered to sleep on his side rolled towards me so any air that he swallowed, which is hardly anyting with BFing would come up easily. Sometimes he would bring up a bit of BM but I would lay him on a towel so that I could just chuck it in the wash in the morning.

I kept clean nappies, wipes and a change mat by the side of the bed and only changed him about once in the night, if he had pooed and I did this on the bed.

Having him sleeping next to me, especially after having a c-sect meant that I didn't have to move to feed him. I just lobbed out a boon and let him get on with it, often falling asleep before he had finished so I felt that my sleep wasn't as disturbed as it would have been hvaiving to sit up and lift him out of a cot then stay awake until he finished a feed, which with newborns can take a long time especially if they too keep falling asleep during a feed and then keep waking up every hour for some more. Something you barely notice if they are lying in bed with you.

There is also the other side, apart from all the feeding which is how lovely and special it is to snuggle up with your newborn and feel their breath on your face. Also, your breath on their face is supposed to keep them from falling into too deep a sleep and therefore reduce the chance of SIDS by keeping some stimulus on them. All in all it's a win-win situation, I feel.

I co-slept until DS was 2yrs old and got too big for our bed then put him into his own bed in his own room. It took a few nights but he got used to it as he was able to understand the concept of being a big boy and having a 'big boy bed', something I'm not sure a younger child would appreciate. I am currently pregnant with No2 and plan on doing it exactly the same. I'm really looking forward to snuggling up with a newborn again! grin It passes so quickly, make the most of it.

EatingAngelPie Thu 09-Dec-10 12:44:23

it's early days yet. co-sleeping is much more pleasant now she's a bit older, its easier to latch her, and she is less likely to do her impression of a milk fountain.

mawbroon Thu 09-Dec-10 12:51:27

Much the same as others on here, I found co-sleeping far easier because neither of my DSs were sicky or windy. I only changed nappies if dirty which stopped after the first few weeks.

I normally couldn't actually tell you how often ds2 fed in the night because he just wiggles over and latches on whilst I am fast asleep.

I didn't co-sleep with ds1 from the beginning because I had read all the stuff about it being dangerous to have the baby in bed sad. I only did it out of desperation in the end and wished I had done it from the beginning.

With ds2, I was in an orthopaedic boot recovering from a broken ankle when he was born and wasnm't allowed to weight bear without it, so unless I slept in the boot, getting out of bed to do nappies or anything else for that matter either required crutches or strapping on the boot, so ds2 in bed was the obvious solution.

KellyBronze Thu 09-Dec-10 13:46:39

I've never winded a baby (day or night) or changed a nappy unless it is pooey and my first never pooed at night and no 2 only pooed occasioanlly at night.

woolymindy Thu 09-Dec-10 13:53:10

It is easier, that is why they say it!

Latch them on and then go back to sleep, no winding, no nappy change unless pooey but that it very seldom and not that much sick, again very rare around here

I think bed sharing has been the thing in or family that has made it easy for us, no sleepless nights with any of them to be honest and my DH loves having them in bed when they are small, it is a special time.

barkfox Thu 09-Dec-10 18:05:44

Reading this thread has made me a bit jealous (and the tiniest bit sad, too) -

I had visions of this lovely, snoozy, easy co-sleeping stuff - reality was very different with a very vomitty baby, who to start with poo-ed during every feed, and due to reflux (which we didn't pick up on until he was I think about 10 weeks old....) thrashed around in his sleep, moaning and grunting, and then needed to be sat up for about 20 mins after each feed....

And my DS does need winding. I don't think it's cos I'm a deluded Westerner, I really don't - the fact that the screaming and writhing ends immediately after a huge burp convinces me that wind is a big problem for him.

I've also never got the hang of feeding lying down. Crampy arms, backache - and it wasn't like I could leave a sicky windy refluxy baby lying down after I fed him anyway.

We use a co-sleeper, so DS is right next to me, and I can grab him easily, sit up to feed, hold him upright (or give him to DP to do all that while I go back to sleep) - and DS can nap sometimes on DP's chest, to maximise skin and cuddles after BF-ing.

Great if co-sleeping works for you, and it sounds lovely when it does - but every baby is different, and it just doesn't work for us...

DilysPrice Thu 09-Dec-10 18:16:32

Once a baby's system has got the hang of the difference between day and night they are very unlikely to poo at night, but it does take a while, ditto the reflux thing. Eventually co-sleeping becomes a much simpler option and fortunately associated SIDS dangers come down as they get older (I think? please correct me if I'm wrong here).

porcamiseria Thu 09-Dec-10 20:07:45

i am doing it with my second and by gods its easier! he like to sleep with me, and the night feeds are done in 20 mins. I dont change nappies in the night either

i klnow i am making a rod for my own back but the difference in the sleep i get is huge

ReshapeWhileDamp Thu 09-Dec-10 20:20:01

Presumed it was because you sense earlier that the baby is stirring and wants a feed, so less of the hysterical screaming while you grope for the light switch, prop yourself up on pillows, etc. grin

Sorry your baby is pukey and needs winding. sad That must make it a lot less handy. Still, things may change, and it will get easier as you go along.

Porca, what rod? The rod that allows you to sleep and stay lying down at night? Or the one that gives your baby constant loving contact at night and milky snacks on demand? grin Honestly, I know lots of people who did this and they would not describe it as building an unsustainable pattern of behaviour, or a 'rod' for their backs.

thisisyesterday Thu 09-Dec-10 20:26:07

i never winded my babies or changed their nappies in the night unless they were poo-ey. why would you?

breastfed babies tend to have less wind anyway because there isn't air in the breasts to swallow

put a big towel underneath you both if your baby pukes a lot, and keep muslins by the bed

co-sleeping is much easier because eventually you both learn to just feed and doze/sleep.

TurkeyMartini Thu 09-Dec-10 20:28:26

Same as porcamiseria.

OP, you'll probably find it gets a lot more convenient when your baby's a bit older. If you keep on with it, I mean.

EatingAngelPie Thu 09-Dec-10 21:27:42

no rod. mine were both in their on rooms at 6 mpnths (though would come back in if i wanted a lie-in)

smokinaces Thu 09-Dec-10 21:32:20

DS2 fed the best laying down - I have huge boobs and very small nipples and his latch was fairly pants sitting up, but laying down it was spot on. So I even took to laying down to feed him in the day - arm propped under a pillow, on sides, patting his back. Loved it. He co-slept from about 2 months when we figured this out, and kept on until he stopped breastfeeding at around 11m.

Well, I say stopped co-sleeping. Not sure at 2.7 he agrees with that!!

theresapotatoundermysink Thu 09-Dec-10 21:39:05

I don't feel the need - or want - to cosleep. Don't get me wrong, I see nothing wrong with it, just not what works for me. I find it difficult to fall back asleep if she's in bed with me.

I have DD in moses basket next to me so just lift her out, no need to get out of bed, feed her, then pop her back in.

And don't worry about the bed mess, mine was constantly getting milk leaked on, puke, poo, wee ,everything but it does settle down!

catwhiskers10 Fri 10-Dec-10 15:39:02

I started co-sleeping when DD was 5 months, I find it easier as I can sleep while she feeds.
With regard to winding, I never winded her, HV advice was you dont need to wind a BF baby and I never had any problems.
Id rather change sheets more often than have sleepless nights.

lovechoc Fri 10-Dec-10 21:41:55

I can't even relax properly when I'm feeding DS2, can't fall back asleep when he's in the bed with me just for his feed alone, never mind even co-sleeping!

I do the same as what I did with DS1 - I do the feed, wind him and then straight into the cot so I can get back to sleep myself without worrying about rolling into a baby!

Each to their own though.

I also am up at the toilet every single night so it's no hassle to put DS back into his cot after each feed because I'm usually going via the bathroom after each feed before going back to sleep again.

Panzee Fri 10-Dec-10 21:45:01

Oh good a co-sleeping thread. A question randomly popped into my head today - how do you do nighttime toilet trips when you co-sleep?

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