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Friends haven't sent any new baby cards

(13 Posts)
Skyblue81 Thu 13-Dec-18 12:35:54

Maybe I'm just being hormonal and overly sensitive, but I feel really sad that not a single one of my friends has sent me a "congrats on your new baby" card.

Ok, it's my 3rd child so I'm not expecting a fanfare, but AIBU to be sad that no-one thought to send a card? I send cards and presents without fail for birthdays, anniversaries, new homes, new jobs etc. I'm starting to wonder why I bother as they never get reciprocated. Am I just too old fashioned and maybe should be satisfied with my WhatsApp messages of congrats?!

LikeARedBalloon Thu 13-Dec-18 12:39:38

In the nicest possible way, I think you need to let it go. If you've had messages on whatapp etc then that's your congratulations. As you say, it's your 3rd baby and people are busy at this time in the year. I have a relative who constantly sends cards for every little event and it drives me crazy - I work full time and just do not have time to be going and buying cards!
Congratulations BTW smile

needanames Thu 13-Dec-18 12:42:45

Id be upset too OP, 3rd baby or 1st baby, it doesn't matter, it's a huge life event. And they are nice mementos to keep to show your child when they're older.

I wouldn't be upset if I didn't get a new house card or the like, but I think not sending a card when you've had a baby is pretty rubbish!

Perhaps they're waiting to give u the cards in person when they come and meet baby?

Escolar Thu 13-Dec-18 12:44:11

Congratulations OP! You would not be unreasonable if your friends had ignored the birth, but I'm afraid we all need to face the fact that electronic messages are replacing cards. It is sad IMO, but at least it's better for the environment!

ExcitedForChristmas18 Thu 13-Dec-18 13:12:18

This happened with my second. DS1's memory box, has loads of cards and keepsakes from when he was born. DS2 had hardly any! My BIL asked me what DS2 wants for Christmas, I said a card for when he was born like you got for DS1 😂

Blondiecub0109 Thu 13-Dec-18 13:19:24

Congrats on your new arrival! Something that helped me understand others and their choices/reactions was the ‘five love languages’. Gift giving is one of them. Maybe your friends just don’t value gift/card giving, whereas your love language is gifting/cards. It was an eye opener to me as I was upset that a relative always seemed ungrateful- it just didn’t push their buttons.

90mammasophie Thu 13-Dec-18 13:22:05

Not sure. I probably wouldn't send for a 3rd baby. Definitely a nice message / phone call though and then I'd bring a pressie for baby when I meet him/her.

Ozziewozzie Thu 13-Dec-18 13:25:42

It is pretty pa ta to be honest. I’ve had 5 babies and I got cards for all of them. But interestingly, I got cards from people I least expected to get them from. Ie passer by in our town with a little gift. Really heart warming xxxx

Luxembourgmama Thu 13-Dec-18 13:29:07

I'd send a text and buy a present if it was a close friend but it would never occur to me to send a card. Any cards I got just got binned.

AdoreTheBeach Thu 13-Dec-18 13:30:02

I had similar with my third baby. I even had the experience of my mother organising a baby shower for my sister when I took my then 6 week old baby to see them (another country) - saying I could show family and friends my baby at my sisters baby shower. I felt be it first baby, second, third etc that each baby is unique and deserves sane fanfare. I had to grow a thick skin because most other people don’t feel that way.

madmum5811 Thu 13-Dec-18 13:30:59

These days, Facebook, instagram, whatsapp, seem to be the default whether for babies, xmas, birthdays. I do still buy cards, but suspect I am a dying breed.

Congratulations on your new gorgeous baby

snuggledonthesofa Thu 13-Dec-18 13:34:59

Recently had no.3 too!

I didn't get sent many cards (1 from family abroad and 1 from work) but a lot gave cards when they came round to meet him. Could they be waiting to see you and give in person?

DavedeeDozyBeakyMickandTich Thu 13-Dec-18 13:43:02

For me personally, the etiquette for new babies (regardless how many children they have) is to go round with a gift for baby and parents (I normally ask what they need) once they are having visitors, to greet baby properly and the card will be with the gift. It wouldn't occur to me to send a card in the post. The gifts and card go hand in hand with a visit.

I don't really send any cards in the post except to far away elderly relatives. Everyone else, Christmas, birthday or whatever cards is on an as and when I see them basis. New homes and babies I make the effort to go round as I guess I've just been brought up with that as the 'done thing'.

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