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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

My nephew passed away this afternoon :-(

62 replies

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 27/03/2009 22:15

He took ill last night and went this afternoon. All I think is at least it didn't drag on for him and he is at peace now. He looked awfull this morning. I would have hated him to be like that for days.

It was awfull hearing his sister and his mum. You could hear their hearts break. DH seems to be coping a lot better than I thought as does MIL.

I'm coping, feel in shock and helpless really. I wish i could do more for them all but what can you do? Sil and bil know that there are people there for them. Niece is being looked after by a friend tonight.

Dd1 is okay. She is quiet and had a few questions like how do you get to heaven and what is it like, she thinks it's where there are lots of beds on clouds and you ride horses and eat marshmallows all day. I'll let her keep thinking that.

The Macmillan nurse was great. She took neice aside and talked to her and gave her a little book.

I don't really know what to do. Or even why I am posting. It helped reading your comments when I found out his cancer was terminal, so I guess that's why. I probably won't post long. I am just having a brandy and then I'm going to clean up. I feel like I need to do something.

Dh is at the pub, his mum asked him to go to let some of her friends know as she can't face them.

OP posts:

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BecauseImWorthIt · 27/03/2009 22:16

So sorry

TequilaMockinBird · 27/03/2009 22:18

so sorry

Sending thoughts, hugs and prayers xx

fryalot · 27/03/2009 22:18

so sorry seashells

LotsofLovelyShoes · 27/03/2009 22:18

oh, so so sorry for you and your families.

how desperately sad. I really will be thinking about you all.

scrooged · 27/03/2009 22:20

Thinking of you all, so sorry.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 27/03/2009 22:22

The sound of his mum crying out when he went was heartbreaking. It is a sound that will stay with me forever. I only pray it one I will never hear again

At least she had people there for her at the time though. Bil didn't really talk anyone. He just stayed with his son. I think he is in shock. He always clung onto the hope that he would pull through.

They did everything they could and then more for him. He was just too ill. There was nothing more they could have done. I hope they realise that.

OP posts:

HumphreyCobbler · 27/03/2009 22:22

I am so sorry

differentID · 27/03/2009 22:24

I'm so sorry for your loss. It came fast didn't it? {{{{{hugs}}}}}

dizzydixies · 27/03/2009 22:24

I am so terribly sorry for your family's loss and hope he is in peace now my heart goes out to you all at this time

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 27/03/2009 22:26

Yes it did different, but I guess that is better than him being in a lot of pain for days.

It was his birthday on Sunday and he was up and talking with all the kids. He looked sick but you would never have guessed how ill.

It was a very rare cancer and progressed much faster than doctors hoped.

OP posts:

InMemoryOf · 27/03/2009 22:26

so sorry to hear your sad news

what you said earlier...

Dd1 is okay. She is quiet and had a few questions like how do you get to heaven and what is it like, she thinks it's where there are lots of beds on clouds and you ride horses and eat marshmallows all day. I'll let her keep thinking that.

lovely thought

Mummyfor3 · 27/03/2009 22:30

So sorry for all of you.

The death of a child is just the very worst loss imaginable and somehow simply WRONG .

I do hope your nephew is now in a better place - and your daughter's idea of it sounds great.

Thinking of you all.

Lilyloo · 27/03/2009 22:32

So sorry

dizzydixies · 27/03/2009 22:32

SheSells, children are very resiliant in these things, my DD1 (5yrs) told me the other day that it was ok Granny was in heaven as she would be with Jesus and Robert Burns - not entirely appropriate but it made me smile

please be kind to yourself and take the time to grieve

ilovemydogandMrObama · 27/03/2009 22:32

So sorry for you. He was quite young, wasn't he?

DS was recently in Children's Hospital (nothing as serious) and shared a play area with the kids from the oncology ward. Amazing how these kids cope with pain.

MissHooliesclassmonitor · 27/03/2009 22:33

oh Shesells, I remember your other thread about your nephew.

Am so so sorry you are all having to go through this. Absolutely heartbreaking how you described his mum when he went

LtEveDallas · 27/03/2009 22:38

Seashells, thought of you instantly from title, but hoped it wasnt you IYKWIM.

All the usual 'only the good die young' cliches want to come out, mainly because they are true. So sorry and wishing all pain away, but hope you come though ok. (Sending same to DP, hope he can get out of the pub and into your arms)

Really sorry
Dx

2shoes · 27/03/2009 22:39

cornsilk · 27/03/2009 22:41

Sorry for your loss seashells.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 27/03/2009 22:44

Thank you all for your kind thoughts. It was weired walking to the shops earlier. Everyone was normal and laughing and it felt wrong. But they don't know. Life carries on even if you want it to stop.

ilovemydog, I hope your ds is okay now. You are right, they all seem to cope really well with the pain. When my nephew was in the hospital they all seemed so cheery and normal. Not at all what I expected. But it is better for them that way. My nephew was ten on sunday, his sister is 7.

I am going to go and clean up now. I can't settle just sitting here.

OP posts:

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 28/03/2009 03:44

Dd1 has just been kicking off. She was hytserical that her leg was hurting and her nose was itching. I know it's not really about that. It must be hard as a child when you are hurting inside and don't know how to talk about it.

I guess she will have a few achey legs and headaches in the days to come.

I just held her untill she calmed down.

I still don't know what to do. I feel like I should be doing something, but there is nothing I can do.

Everything just feels so empty.

OP posts:

SuperBunny · 28/03/2009 04:24

Sorry seashells

Mummyfor3 · 28/03/2009 08:50

Seashell, I hope you were able to get some sleep.

I have in the past found this helpful. It might give you some pointers on how to respond to your daughter's hurt.

I also found CRUSE v helpful.

It is so hard to see how life just goes on for everybody else. Thinking of you today.

Peachy · 28/03/2009 08:59

I am so sorry , My Uncle lost my 5 year old cousin to cancer when I ws 5 and it is the earliest memory I have now, and she is still sorely missed . I am glad they got to spend that last birthday together.

I will be thinking of you all and wishing you peace X.

differentID · 28/03/2009 11:33

Hoping today is ok for you x
Thinking of you all.

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