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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

Up until what age is it ok to co-sleep?

34 replies

MeMySonAndI · 14/10/2008 21:18

I have to recognise that DS was not a baby exactly suitable for co sleeping (far too mobile even in the first week: going under covers, getting trapped between the bed and the wall, under my legs, etc).

However, everytime his father was away he would sleep in my bed, and what started as a special treat for the days daddy was not around has become more of a habit since his father and I separated.

Sometimes he needs his space and goes back to his room for weeks, and then he is back for other weeks at my room. I don't really mind, I put him in bed, read the story, talk about the day and then I leave him to seetle down while I go and finish other things around the house.

The question is, after all this babble, up until what age is it ok to co-sleep? he is 5 now BTW.

OP posts:

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MeMySonAndI · 14/10/2008 21:36

Bump

OP posts:

TheArmadillo · 14/10/2008 21:37

as long as you want to.

HOnestly if it isn't causing any problems and none of you have any issues with it, carry on. He may naturally decide to spend more and more time in his own bed as he gets older.

harpomarx · 14/10/2008 21:38

ok so long as you both want to, imo

beansprout · 14/10/2008 21:39

Any age you want to. It's a lovely thing.

meandmyjoe · 14/10/2008 21:39

As long as it doesn't bother you then keep doing whatever he needs and you are OK with. He's very young ,i was still in my parents bed til I was 9, my parents were very patient and clearly had no sex life!

Maveta · 14/10/2008 21:40

My dad worked away a lot when we were growing up and whenever he was away (month on/month off) my little sister slept with my mum, until she was about 11 iirc. So i think whatever works for you..

nooOOOoonki · 14/10/2008 21:40

my DSS slept on and off with his mum till he was about 9, then decided not to any more

I love it when DS1 sneaks in (he is 3) and will be sad when he stops - ds2 doesnt really settle in bed with us

RoRoMommy · 14/10/2008 21:41

I agree, as long as you both want to. Particularly when there has been a big change in his life he will likely benefit from feeling closer to you. Even outside of that, children have a remarkable ability to grow independent at their own pace, and we plan to co-sleep with DS until he decides he wants his own bed.

HTH

HRHSaintMamazon · 14/10/2008 21:43

Ds is 8 and although i have been making an effort to get him into his own bed, he usualy ends up in mine.
Im single so it causes no problems for me and as he has had sleep issues i am just happy he sleeps!

cory · 14/10/2008 21:49

I am afraid I cannot agree with the earlier posters. I think when you find that he has another woman on his other arm, it really is time to call it a day. So that would be about 16

RoRoMommy · 14/10/2008 21:55

Cory, do you know many 16 year olds who co-sleep?

MeMySonAndI · 14/10/2008 21:57

Thank you for your posts

Glad to hear that. To be honest I'm enjoying it. We get to talk so much, for some strange reason that doesn't happen when he is at his room.

What are the arguments against it? I can't see any, but then I see so much people that clearly think it is not a good idea. (I think it is a good idea, but would like to know where these other people is coming from)

OP posts:

MeMySonAndI · 14/10/2008 21:58

Another woman on his other arm?

I have to pay more attention to what he is up to in those hours at school

OP posts:

twinsetandpalls · 14/10/2008 21:59

I would not use the phrase co sleep as it was not a thought out deliberate decision. But dd is 7 and often sleeps in with us, I find it to be a really special time, in the mornings we often chat, giggle or just snuggle up.

DD will sleep in her room as well either at her own bidding or ours.

kingfix · 14/10/2008 22:03

isn't the main argument against it that you might want the bed to yourself/share with a partner? If you are happy to share with DS then there's no problem is there? ANd 5 seems quite young to me. FWIW (and maybe this will put you off) my 14 year old sister still gets into bed with mum when she's having a tough time at school or whatever

GreenMonkies · 14/10/2008 22:05

DD2 is in a bedside cot, so co-sleeping with us and she's 2 years and 4 months, DD1 (aged 5) gets in with us early in the morning and boobs and snoozes until we all get up. When DP is working nights we girls all kip together.

I love waking up to my little sleepy girls, they are so beautiful when they sleep, and I will miss it when they both stop sleeping with us.

meandmyjoe

"i was still in my parents bed til I was 9, my parents were very patient and clearly had no sex life! "

Don't be so sure! Never sit on a co-sleepers sofa, and if they have a bean bag or floor cushions in thier livingroom, be very wary. DD1 was still co-sleeping full time when I concieved DD2......

Snippety · 15/10/2008 16:32

yes !! As long as you both want to. I'm an enthusiastic co-sleeper (my DS is nearly 16 months) and will miss it when he finally decides to go it alone.

I saw on tv the other day that John Barrowman still sometimes getis into bed with his parents at 41 !!

Lol at "never sit on co-sleeper's sofa" !! Ah the joy of conjugal relations with the ranks of DS's teddies looking on We also have a floor cushion

seeker · 15/10/2008 16:37

As long as you are both happy with it. My 12 year old still occasionally ends up in with us!

WhereWolfTheWildThingsWere · 15/10/2008 16:39

It's best to stop once them are married.

Leoloopydoo · 15/10/2008 16:41

As long as you are all happy with it and it is HIS choice to come to your bed not your choice by putting him into your bed at night.

Grappa · 15/10/2008 17:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

exasperatedmummy · 15/10/2008 17:37

Ah, this is a nice thread I slept in with my Dad until i was about ten, i am pretty sure my parents had enough of it really - i think my mum used to sleep on the sofa! But actually, she still does that now, but my dad passed away two years ago now.

With DD i could never sleep with her in my bed, i don't know why, i just didnt feel comfortable with it.

DD2 is still in our room, in a cot - but we are going to move her soon, she is 3. I like having her in the bed actually, im very comfortable with it, but im not comfortable if that makes any sense, she takes up so much space in our king size bed and both DP and i end up perched on the edge with our bums sticking out of the duvet . Its not ideal, but i do enjoy the cuddles.

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sagacious · 15/10/2008 17:39

Hides bean bags and floor cushions

meandmyjoe · 15/10/2008 20:04

Green monkeys, yuck yuck yuck, I am seeing my childhood from a totally new and disturbing perspective now!!!!!!!

S1ur · 15/10/2008 20:06

sofas are underrated

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