It?s crazy I know. And I know I shouldn?t compare, but as she?s my first, I just can?t seem to help myself. I?ve always been a bit on the neurotic side anyway, and this is really getting me down. Ugh. She has been late to get mobile ? didn?t crawl until 11 months - but then she is very heavy (deep into 99.6th percentile territory) and tall too.
I?m not worried about mobility so much as things that denote ability to communicate and intelligence. She has been waving for several weeks now, but doesn?t clap or point yet. The other babies in my antenatal group have been doing all this seemingly for weeks and even months now. And they all seem to be getting the beginnings of first words too. Dd babbles well, and is clearly inquisitive and sociable, but I expect she will be the last to talk, just as with everything else.
The worst thing is that yesterday a friend came over with her 9.5 month old, whom I haven?t seen for a while. Even she was clapping, pointing and waving (which I know is very early for a 9.5 month old). It was literally like a stab in the guts, and it ended up being an awful day (for me anyway).
I just want dd to be first at something too for a change! And for her abilities to be exclaimed over, like the other babies. Sigh. Both me and dh are highly educated, and yes, I will admit that it is a very unexpected surprise, and severe dent to my pride that she is the laggard of our group. My balloon has been well and truly pricked, and maybe I deserve it. I find I am starting to not want to go to our weekly meet-ups, which I'm aware is completely pathetic. But I spend the whole time there secretly comparing what all the other babies can do compared to mine, and always come home feeling down.
I wonder if part of it is that I have not been stimulating her enough. I have tended to just park her in her playroom while I get on with jobs around the house, although we do go out to activities every day where we get ?quality time?. I?ve been trying to show her how to clap for the last couple of months, but she just doesn?t seem to want to copy me (though she will with other things) - it's as if she just doesn't 'get it', or isn't ready yet to get it. I think I need to be teaching her more names for things, showing her books, pointing at things etc.
So what does this mean? Is my dd less intelligent than her little friends? Will she catch up and hold her own, or even excel at something? As I said, she is inquisitive and sociable, very smiley and laughs a lot, gives me things she?s holding if I hold out my hand for them etc, clearly is not actually delayed as such, just a little slower than her peer group. But I am starting to obsess about all this now, to the extent that it really isn?t healthy. Sigh. I just love her so much!
What can I do to stop myself from obsessing? As I said, I am a bit of an obsesser anyway, unfortunately that just seems to be the way I?m built. I just want to be able to just chill out and enjoy my time with my mummy friends. They really are lovely girls, and none of them would ever be mean enough to say anything derogatory about my dd.
Can anyone help me?
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Behaviour/development
Feeling low because my beautiful, PFB dd (11.5 months) seems to be the slowest developer in my antenatal group
ChunkyChick · 23/09/2008 14:08
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