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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

where can i find a specialist re one year old ignoring his mum

32 replies

bumbly · 23/07/2008 08:37

my little one's ignoring of me really worsening and i don't think it is a phase

it is making life difficult now as am resenting him and feel well if you do't bother with me at all - and i mean at all

so before the mumsnet police critise me

think of handling a baby who clearly does not want to be with you in any circustance then that is me

anywya need help and my gp has always been crap - anyone else had specilaist help over this?

OP posts:

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Flier · 23/07/2008 08:38

Your health visitor should be able to assist.

bumbly · 23/07/2008 08:39

she is crap as she didn't even know re how bad head control of my little one was months ago and shas seen literally thousands of children!

OP posts:

wessexgirl · 23/07/2008 08:40

Yes, ask the HV first - she will know your situation. Have you had/do you have PND?

2point4kids · 23/07/2008 08:40

Are there other HVs at your baby clinic? or go along to a different clinic nearby perhaps?

hockeypuck · 23/07/2008 08:41

Does he/she still have problems with head control now bumbly?
Any other concerns - other than the ignoring?

Twiglett · 23/07/2008 08:42

I think you need to speak to someone and a health visitor sounds like a good start

wessexgirl · 23/07/2008 08:43

If you don't have confidence in your named HV, can you see another one at your GP practice? Or there might be one attached to a local playgroup/Sure Start/Children's Centre you can go along to talk to.

AbbeyA · 23/07/2008 08:43

Do you have any help bumbly? It sounds as if you are depressed. Have you always felt this about your baby or has it suddenly come on? I would go back to your GP in this instant and explain that you need help.

Twiglett · 23/07/2008 08:44

Do you feel bonded to your son?

mrsruffallo · 23/07/2008 08:44

Hs he always been like that bumbly, or is it a recent thing?
He is very young, it is possible to change this.

mrsruffallo · 23/07/2008 08:46

Yes, I think that if your HV is useless then conmtact Sure Start, they have many options for you.
In the meantime, tell me about your day

TotalChaos · 23/07/2008 08:48

at this age I imagine the appropriate specialist would be a developmental paediatrician. you would have to go through HV or GP to get a referral though. If you are unhappy with both HV and GP then Surestart isn't a bad idea. Some Surestart centres have child psychologists working there (who teach on courses etc), so they may be useful for you to chat to.

do you have any other worries about your baby's development?

LIZS · 23/07/2008 08:50

this isn't a new concern, is it ? He's what , a year-ish now ? Can't remember if he's had the more obvious checks such as hearing. Some babies are more fiercely independent than others. If he can interact with other adults and children it is unlikely he has a problem but may simply take your presence for granted. If you dontl want to speak to hv or gp (and you could always ask to see a different one or change practice) who could refer you to the community paediatrician or hospital for any tests then you are probably looking at a private peadiatrician.

MadamAntisDerelicte · 23/07/2008 08:54

bumbly - One year olds just do ignore their parents. Honestly. MY DCs went through looooong phases of being extremely uncuddly and defiantly ignoring/disobeying me.

You do sound like you need external help though, and perhaps a specialist counsellor for you would be a good idea? It must be very very hard for you if you feel that your DC 'doesn't want to be with you' I am absolutely sure that's not the case though.

AbbeyA · 23/07/2008 09:00

You will be the most important person in your DC's life, but I appreciate that you don't feel this at the moment. I do think it is important to get some help and not just struggle on with these feelings.

sweetgrapes · 23/07/2008 09:03

Who else do you have in your family and is he attached to them?
If he goes to nursery then how is he there?

Does he wave, smile? Babbling?

I agree you need a developmental paediatrician. It's not necessarily that your ds is ignoring you, but may be a symptom of something else.

Slouchy · 23/07/2008 09:04

Hearing?

If it really worries/distresses you see your GP and make your feelings clear. Push for referrals.

AttillaTheHan · 23/07/2008 09:09

I would definately approach your local surestart centre. If there is no one available they might be able to point you in the right direction for some support.
In the meantime try to look at your son's behaviour from a different perspective, ie how you think others might see it to see if you can spot anything that you have so far missed.

Flier · 23/07/2008 09:15

surestart info and finding your local surestart centre

2point4kids · 23/07/2008 09:34

I agree with surestart. I go to groups at my local surestart centre and they are brilliant.
Have seen them help so many people with worries about their children by getting them on courses or getting them in touch with the right people to help.
Please do give them a call or drop in.

HonoriaGlossop · 23/07/2008 10:38

I'd go to another GP at the surgery and request a referral to a paediatrician.

It can be a cyclical thing - baby doesn't respond so you stop smiling and interacting, so the baby doesn't smile and interact etc

I'm assuming you have got past all this and tried keeping on interacting and smiling though - if it's been an on-going problem.

I'd want a Paed to check my child if this was the case.

bumbly · 23/07/2008 11:00

not depressed as such but this is now starting to get me depressed

in the past been worried about loads of things but was never depressed now am..he has eye probs and had head control probs yes but has no ear probs and interacts well with daddy and grandmothers - i think too much to the expense of me

my life this last year has been so changed so much and now am just viewed by my little one as the one doing all the nasty things - changing, nappies, injections, feeding when wants to play, stopping him from going to places he will hurt himself etc and etc and etc

so when with me always crying

now the nights he keeps waking up and all he wants is daddy

had enough

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HonoriaGlossop · 23/07/2008 11:09

How do your DH and grandmothers interact with him that is different to you?

Is it worth considering childcare for him, so that you get some of the fun time too; his other needs being taken care of in the day and you get to come in, throw him about and tickle him etc?

bumbly · 23/07/2008 11:17

they never do the chores just play with him and he loves them to bits

always happy smiley chappy apart form when i ome in the circle unfort

OP posts:

HonoriaGlossop · 23/07/2008 11:21

can you leave the chores? Just play with him?

It really does sound doesn't it as if there's no problem with him if he can relate normally to people.

Is it that you are so disheartened that he has stopped looking to you for anything other?

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