Feeling disappointed that cranial osteopathy seems to be making no difference to my ds. Was I expecting too much?

[peggotty]

He's had two of the three sessions that the osteopath recommended. Has cried and whinged/wriggled throughout them both, with no real change afterwards either . I had heard/read so many positive things about CO. The osteopath said he felt that there was 'tightness' around back of ds' head and would be working on that and that 3 sessions should help. DS has also been teething - got first tooth through a couple of weeks ago, and second one just popped out of gum over yesterday and today - would that interfere with effects of CO?

TBH part of me is just wondering if I am grasping at straws with it anyway and that I just have to accept that ds' personality is basically demanding and quite whingy. I think it's actually me who needs CO! I've stuggled to cope with him since he was born and I don't know how much of it is just that I don't seem to manage babies very well (also have dd, 3 yrs, who is playing up a lot at moment). Any advice?

[Octothechildherder]

Give yourself a break - sometimes everything seems to go wrong and the kids play up - mine go through phases all the time - and its never just one of them, its all three!

I would ditch the CO and try some teetha powders whenever baby is grumpy as they are a really good homeopathic remedy for when the whinging makes you feel irate - iyswim!

[posieflump]

how old is he?
tbh babies are demanding and clingy at times
sometimes it's better not to be always looking for a solution or 'cure' but just to learn how to cope
have you spoken to yuor health visitor?

[peggotty]

he's 21 wks. Unfortunately it's part of my nature to look for solutions and cures, but I totally understand what you're saying posieflump. I do have to learn to cope better, and I keep trying to just give in to it and go with it but I find it so hard. Octo have tried teething powders, nothing but a good bloody dose of nurofen seems to help tbh! I just find young babies such hard hard work! Makes me feel so inept!

[Dottoressa]

My DS had CO when he was very tiny (recommended by the midwives and health visitor following v traumatic delivery). I can't say whether or not it made any difference to him - DH swears it was a complete waste of money, though I am going to give it another go if we can ever afford it again (said DS, now six, is still v demanding and prone to sudden outbursts - it may be that CO won't make the blindest bit of difference, but it would be worth a go!)

The thing with CO, to my mind, is that even if it's not doing any obvious good, it isn't doing any harm either - and it may be doing good in other, less obvious, ways. I'd stick with what the osteopath recommends, then review the situation. And I'm sure teething would interfere with the effects of CO!!

You have my sympathies!

[Octothechildherder]

Personally, I would make more time to be with him and arrange to meet other mums for a coffee.

[Octothechildherder]

ds3 did have cranial osteopathy btw - just once as he was a bit colicky in his first week - they guy was amazing but we didn;t go back.

[peggotty]

Octo, I get out of the house with him and dd every single day and see friends most days. One of the things I did learn when I had dd was staying indoors with a young baby is fatal

[Octothechildherder]

I was like that with my first - had to go out every day - with ds3 I love staying in with him and just rolling around on the floor! I think because I know am not going to have more I am making most of the baby time I have left!

[glamourbadger]

My girls had a few sessions of CO. I also hoped it would help with their problems - they were poor feeders and seemed to cry endlessly for the first few months. TBH I didn't see any real difference - I was hoping for some sort of miracle cure. Babies go through so many stages and everything is "just a phase" - you must have experienced this with your DD. I think once I accepted this and got on with it life became easier. They stopped crying eventually and become interesting little people .

[peggotty]

Glamourbadger - my dd was a 'dream' baby, very easygoing, brilliant sleeper/eater etc. I think that's just compounded my problem with ds - he's just more normal in many ways, because my dd was really really easy, I can see that now!! And of course I didn't appreciate it because she was my first baby and I hung over her fretting the whole time - aarggghh, if I could have that time back! I obviously had my babies the wrong way round! Him being my second has given me the ability to see beyond, and to know that most things are just 'phases'. Unfortunately I seem to have lost that ability at the moment...!

[blueshoes]

peggotty, if your ds is fussing because (as you alluded to) of his temperament, cranial osteopathy is not going to make a blind bit of difference.

Does your ds have any of these traits of a high needs baby?

If your first baby is easy, it can be difficult for you to judge how normal your ds is. The traits I posted represent a baby at the other end of the easy scale.

[CristinaTheAstonishing]

I tried CO for DS's colic. Of course it didn't help. He did poo every time during the session. He was also constipated at the time, but £40 per poo is pretty poor value for money.

[TheMadHouse]

It worked on my eldest, but not my youngest. I think that it can not be a suit all situation

[Meandmyjoe]

I tried CO when my ds was 6 months old. Like you Peggotty I had read so many positive stories and although I wa sceptical, part of me convinced myself that it would be the magic solution to ds's whinginess and crying.

I even got excited before the appointment thinking that I'd leave with a happy baby. The ostepath said ds had a slight tightness/strain in his neck which he sorted out over 2 sessions.

Sadly, it made no difference whatsoever and I was heartbroken! I, like you, tend to look for reasons and the 'cure' all the time. My dh gets frustrated with me doing this as he knows I am setting myself up for disappointment but I can't help it.

DS is still a huge whinge bag. He's 10 months old now and can barely go 5 minutes without whimpering and whingeing to be carried. He still won't sit still on me, I have to stand and carry him around. He still hates the car seat/ highchair/ buggy.

I try everyday to make ds happy but I really think he is just always going to be this way.

Just wanted to sympathise, I know how deflaiting it is when you hope you have found the solution but nothing changes.

[peggotty]

Thanks for the further replies! He doesn't fulfil all the criteria for a high needs baby, but does some. Part of me thinks the problem lies with me needing to accept him the way he is. He can be contented and happy but it only seems to last for short spells. He is hellish atm because of teething. He sleeps ok at night so that's something to be grateful for, his 'difficult' behaviour is mainly confined to the daytime. MeandMyjoe, I have seen some of your other threads. You certainly seem to having a 'baptism by fire' into motherhood! At least you can safely assume that any other babies you may have will not be as hard work as your ds, and even if they are, you know you can cope! Part of my problem is being spoilt by an easy first baby!

[LavenderMist]

Sympathy to peggotty and meandmyjoe. If this is any consolation, it sounds like my little brother was exactly the same as your difficult, miserable boys. My Mum was despairing and thought there was something wrong with him. Then when he was 15 months he learned to walk (or actually, dance). Apparently the change was immediate and he became a sunny, happy delightful little boy. So there is hope. Although he is a geography teacher now so I don't know if that's much consolation after all

[Meandmyjoe]

My ds doesn't fulfill all the criteria of 'high needs', he usually sleeps well and doesn;t feed often but is deffinitely hyperactive and very over sensitive to things and people. He certainly is not like anyone elses baby that I have met but he has mellowed a little since crawling, although whinges a lot instead of full blown crying which is just as infuriating!

[christywhisty]

I went to a cranial osteopath with DS when he was 5. He had an awful birth etc
The first thing the CO said was he makes no claims whatsoever because he once had an appointment for a 6 year old with gigantism and also had never ever spoken. The appointment was cancelled because the boy was not well. When the boy came in for the next appointment his mother said he had spoken for the first time. If the original appointment had been kept, then then CO would have been given the credit for the "miracle" when it had just been a coincidence.

[NotABanana]

I would give it another appointment.

Like anything, it will help some children and not others. I know it helped my son so I am a big fan.

[MsDemeanor]

You don't need CO (total and utter con IMO, and I'm ashamed to say I was so desperate that I fell for it myself) you need CALPOL! Of course a baby us whingey when in pain with his teeth. SO am I!
Give yourself a break - get him some pain relief and instead of wasting £40 on someone droning on about 'tightness in the head', book a pedicure or a facial for yourself! You deserve it. And a happy mummy does equal a happy baby, or if it doesn't at least you have pretty feet!

[Meandmyjoe]

Lol msdemeanor, you could be right! I do feel a bit conned by it but I was desperate and would have tried anything for just a small improvement. I have heard it has worked miracles with some babies though but as christywhisty says, it could just be a coincidence. No harm in trying it though, just very expensive and disappointing if it doesn't work.

[MsDemeanor]

I think the real problem is that it costs quite a lot of money - also no cranial osteopath anywhere has EVER said, 'this baby has no tightness in his head anywhere. He doesn't need treatment'. It's always 'ooh, tightness blah blah, three sessions and see how it goes la la'
I think it makes you think something is wrong with your baby that is fixable with this miracle cure, and babies aren't like that. THey are whimsical little buggers. Happy one minute, sad the next. They are their own people, and they go through phases. They get really tricky around the four month mark in my experience, when they are suddenly developing really fast, maybe learnign to roll or sit or getting the odd tooth. And these phases of whingeyness can disappear overnight so people say, 'omg the CO worked miracles' when of course, they have no idea if the same effect would have occurred without Mr/Ms 'ooh, I feel tightness here' doing their mysterious stuff.

[MsDemeanor]

I'm a huge believer in spending your cash on yourself, on the grounds that you are working really, really hard right now. Sod the baby massage, bring on the mummy massage!

[NotABanana]

Actually, our CO never said our baby had tightness but he did tell us a lot about DS2's time in the womb and birth that he couldn't possibly have known.