I think I may have inadvertantly given my DS a wierd sexual fantasy......

[Bensonbluebird]

The other day DS1 (almost 3) and I were playing with his new tool box. We were bored of bolting bits of wood together and I was pretending to fix bolt some wood on to his tummy button. Then DS1 got the saw out and said 'Mummy cut my leg off', so I did (why did I go along with this?). I cut off all his limbs and stacked them up in the corner. Then he said 'Mummy cut my willy off' and took off his trousers and pants. He had a huge erection! I was trying not to snort with laughter and tell him that sometimes it wasn't appropriate to get his willy out without making a big deal of it....

Who has done worse? own up.

[geekgirl]

ROFL!!! It'll all come out in therapy, mark my words

[Bensonbluebird]

Am I really the worst?

C'mon make me feel better!

[Jamstar]

I'm sure it was just a co-incidence... No toy handy tools though, just in case.

[KaySamuels]

ROFL! How funny!
If it's any consolation I think my ds would find that game equally 'exciting'. You best hope he doesn't ask his nursery teacher to chop his arms and legs and willy off with a saw like mummy does!

[Ozziesmom]

Hi Benson
no your not the worst, my sisters ds at age 4 told her that he liked her tickling his back cos it made his willy "go hard" (blush) erm, don't think she has done it since!

[thinner]

My DS started "Humping" at about 2 years, like a dog on heat! Chairs, toys, anything. The worst was when I had friends round and he would start "humping" their legs. Boys and their toys! He still humps,but only his blanket in bed!

[JingleyJen]

I thought the very same thing yesterday DS2 was holding a balloon whilst I was changing his nappy he started bouncing it against his willy whilst I got a clean nappy together and his willy went all hard.. OOhh balloon rubber fetish - Hmmm all my fault!! He was really cross when I put his nappy on.

[Bensonbluebird]

Thank goodness I'm not the only one. Not sure any of these are as bad as taking a saw to your bits though....

[hollyhobbie]

My DS is only 9months old, but laughs like a drain when I insert a (paracetamol) suppository.

I do worry that he will end up with some sort of perversion: first he has something put up his bum, then he's made to feel all sleepy and nice with breastmilk.

Ah guilt. You can't win as a parent, can you?

[JossStick]

My Ds also 'humps'.

I told him every time i catch him doing it 'im going to smack his bum.

DH said 'No - i'm not sure you should do that'!

LOL

[confuzed]

Little boys eh? My son makes a grab for his wotsit the moment I take his nappy off!

[loopylou6]

omg im actually pleased ot see this thread my dd lies on things and humps them, its so embarresing i dont really think she should be doing things like that...well i know its normal but to that extent really?

[Janos]

Ha ha ha...what a great thread!!! My DS (also 3) gets excited when he's lying in the bath and I pour letters on him.

[discoverlife]

Oh the memories, the memories.
Great thread.

[dividedselfridgesxmaswindow]

Rofl - particulaly at 'when i pour letters on him'

[tinx]

this is all sooooo funny.
i have been laughing like a nutter
for 10 mins

its all normal behavior my ds is 1 half,
and he humps peoples feet when there sitting down

[Janos]

LOL....these are type of things I mean

bath letters

[dividedselfridgesxmaswindow]

Better confess on behalf of ds2 now I guess...

For as long as I can remember, ds2 has got an erection from coming anywhere near my wobbly tummy.

He also likes to put his hnds under my drooping norks in the bit where your undewire goes usully. I think this makes his willy bigger too.

More worryingly, he tries to kiss me like he has seen me and dp do and says "have you gone bigge too mummy?"

[ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands]

DS2 is 7, has various SN and his speech is very delayed and not that clear. The other day he was sitting on the sofa saying "there's something wrong with my willy!"

DH and I were v impressed with the clarity of this sentence! I said to DS "what's wrong? Have you hurt it?" (seeing as he had shed his trousers some time before - was near bedtime - and his nappy was hanging off..)

I peeped inside his nappy.. the "something wrong" turned out to be a rather impressive erection! We did laugh... and probably not as discreetly as we should have as DS got rather over excited and kept shouting "Willy!" for the next half hour..

Good to know that of all the things wrong with him. something's in good working order..

[CrushWithEyeliner]

This thread is cracking me up LOL

[Bensonbluebird]

Oh lordy! I didn't mean to run away, DS2 just got chicken pox and I haven't been online for a week.

Janos - Your son's future sex life is going to involve some very unusual toys...

DSXW - that must do wonders for your body image!

[Ellbell]

It's not just boys... I recently had this conversation with my dd2 (nearly 6).

dd2: When we play chasing games I think I'm the only girl who deliberately lets herself get caught.

me: Are you? Why do you do that?

dd2: Because when the boys grab me it gives me a nice feeling in my tootie (=fanjo).

me:

[comfytoast]

I once caught my dd humping a fimble

[Linz2]

My DS aged 2 had chicken pox recently or chichen pops as he called them, anyway obviously was covering him with calamine including on his willy wonka and hollyhocks which were also covered in spots. In order to get his nappy back on asap I would (without thinking) gently blow over the area to dry the calamine luckily this did not have a reaction if you know what I mean but was mortified the next day when I forgot to do it and he said "mummy blow willy wonka"! Immediately stopped doing this as you can imagine and luckily he has not repeated it since!

[UnquietDad]

Congrats for doing this without making the obvious "getting wood" joke.