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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

Does a 1 year old need to go to nursery?

35 replies

kerala · 24/08/2007 17:02

The majority of my mum friends are putting their 1 year olds into nurseries for up to 4 days a week. They are all talking about active play, yoga for babies, interaction.

I am lookng after dd at home. We go to lots of groups and playgroups and spend time with other mums and children. But is she missing out by not being left in a nursery? She is at the separation anxiety stage and gets upset when I leave the room, I cant imagine how she would be if I left her.

Not looking to open the whole to work outside the home or not debate, just wondered what others thought.

OP posts:

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dustystar · 24/08/2007 17:05

Thers no need for her to do all those things. If you are going out and meeting other people then she's getting lots of experiences to help her develop. Do what you are happiest with and don't worry about the others.

beansprout · 24/08/2007 17:05

She doesn't need all that at her age, but if you wanted to have a break sometimes, that would be fine too. Do what works for you both - you know best!

EscapeFrom · 24/08/2007 17:06

It won't harm. But she doesn't need to either. Those mums are doing it for themselves, not their babies. Nothing wrong at all with that, and given that option i probably would too, but dobn't let them lie and justify their choice by saying their babaies 'needed' to go. They didn't.

BridgetJonesKnickers · 24/08/2007 17:06

Relish the fact that you are able to be at home with her and take her to these places yourself. I would have loved to have been in your position as felt guilty for leaving them at nursery (had to work p/t).
Ignore wht others are doing and do what makes you and your dd happy.

EscapeFrom · 24/08/2007 17:07

Baby yoga, btw, means rolling around on the floor

Can't think of where else A baby would ever do that!

juuule · 24/08/2007 17:09

There is no need for her to go to nursery at one year old. Some interesting articles here about why it might even be better for them to be at home in the early years.

Isababel · 24/08/2007 17:10

Personal choice. End of.

aloha · 24/08/2007 17:10

However, my dd who is 2.6 does 'need' to go to nursery, I think. She wants chums and to make a big mess with paint.

aloha · 24/08/2007 17:11

she's starting pre-school for two-three mornings a week in sept. I think we are BOTH looking forward to it!

LIZS · 24/08/2007 17:11

No imho it is more for the benefit of the mums , unless they are working, than the children. Similar sort of interaction and activities can be had with mum. Mums sometimes need a break though, if only to visit the dentist or do food shopping, and if there are no family or friends around not assist, a creche or nursery for a limited period may provide some respite. From about 2 to 2 1/2 they get far more out of being more independent and in the company of peers and are usually able to articulate their wants and needs. But it will vary from one child/mother to another.

kerala · 24/08/2007 17:11

Thanks for your posts.

Am happy with what we are doing but when you suddenly realise you are very much in the minority in your peer group you start to wonder...

DD is at her happiest when its just us playing at home despite all my efforts to drag her around the baby circuit.

OP posts:

pistachio · 24/08/2007 17:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bobsmum · 24/08/2007 17:15

Kerala - I know what you mean. I was very much bullied by my HV to get ds into nursery from a young age. I didn't because he wasn't ready and so he went for his pre school year at 4.

With dd though, she's confident and would love it, but she's 2 now and can tell me exactly what she wants.

I wouldn't have contemplated sending either of them for "socialising" as a baby.

But as others have said if you don't have friends or family to take them for an hour or so while you have a haircut or go to the GP, then maybe a nursery is the only option.

We couldn't afford the childcare anyway - hence I"m at home. Plus I love it

whompingwillowinthedewmeadow · 24/08/2007 17:18

Wise up! is my gut reaction.

Isababel · 24/08/2007 17:19

"But as others have said if you don't have friends or family to take them for an hour or so while you have a haircut or go to the GP, then maybe a nursery is the only option." I think that is a very fair point.

Caroline1852 · 24/08/2007 17:35

Personally, I would not dream of sending a one year old to nursery. My DD is now 22 months old and she does not go to nursery. She would hate it.... (I might love it though ).

Tapster · 24/08/2007 18:06

My DD nearly 9.5months old - won't send her to nursery until she is 2/2.5 depends when she is ready for 2/3 mornings a week. Seems that most of the academic evidence shows its best for babies to spend their days one-to-one care. If you can afford to do it both in terms of your own sanity as well as financially then go for it. The other mothers are justifying their decisions - its for the mothers benefit at that age not the childs.

cylon · 24/08/2007 18:07

no. she does not need to go to nursery.

Wordsmith · 24/08/2007 18:11

Are they putting them into nursery for up to 4 days a week because they need childcare to work? If so, what else are they supposed to do?

bobsmum · 24/08/2007 18:16

Wordsmith I got the impression they were SAHMs.

It's fairly common round here. Although it's been from much younger than 1 with some. A lot of the mums do it for their trips to the beautician/gym/time at home to themselves. Not something I could do, but so many do it nowadays I've always figured I was in the minority.

Isababel · 24/08/2007 18:25

Ooooohhhh. My nosey neighbour complained about me doing that. Problem was that being only looking from her window she couldn't see that Ds was at the nursery because I was completing the research part of my degree, she couldn't see I was working in my dissertation every day past midnight, she couldn't see I didn't have anyone in the whole city that I knew well enough to leave DS to pay a trip to library (in the city centre (by the shops)), to go to classes, to simply be able to concentrate in a chapter, or to try to catch up with some rest or relax a bit between the stress of the degree made worse by PND. From her rather limited perspective I was sending DS to the nursery to enjoy myself.

If you don't have the full facts, don't judge, actually, even if you do, don't judge either as it is difficult to get the full picture unless you are going through the same.

bumbling · 24/08/2007 19:00

No she doesn't need to. Nothing wrong with nurseries, but there's nothing more natural than a chid being looked after it's mother. Anyway, most SAh mums I know do tons of stuff with their kids,k so they get lots of socialising with other kids and regular playdates, and can go and do messy play with paint etc at playgroups and similar.

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Heathcliffscathy · 24/08/2007 19:02

no

indiasmum · 24/08/2007 19:32

absolutely not.
what he/she needs is their mum.
any mum who says its for benefit of child is lying and trying to diffuse any gulit they have over not wanting to be with their child.
your child can have interaction with oother children with you present. eg at toddler groups or at friends houses or soft play.

why have them if you are going to put them in a nursery? if you want a break from your child, say so, dont pretend its fro the childs benefit because its not.

indiasmum · 24/08/2007 19:34

just realised that sounded very shouty and aggressive. it wasnt meant to. its just my opinion and i know lots of other people feel the same way and many completely disagree with me. its just something i feel very strongly about. sorry if i got anyones backs up

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