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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

do your dc's have imaginary friends?

58 replies

lucykate · 17/04/2007 20:54

dd had a whole gang of them when she was 3, then they went away. now she has a new gang, she's 5 now btw. i know its most probably normal, don't remember having any myself though, but jusy wanted to check with other mums.

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rarrie · 17/04/2007 20:58

Yes! We have lucy who is very naughty, and encourages my daughter to be naughty too! and then there's Charlie, a little girl who comes from Australia to stay with us from time to time. We have a few others too. Perfectly normal, and is supposed to be a sign of a very fertile imagination!

feetheart · 17/04/2007 21:02

DD is 4 and has one although she only makes a rare appearance at the moment. Between 2 and about 3 1/2 she was MUCH more prominent in our lives
I don't remember having one either but it fascinates me.

lucykate · 17/04/2007 21:10

i'd also be intrigued to know if more kids have them since charlie & lola have been about, wanting to copy soren lorenson. wonder if there's been any research on it?

OP posts:

Hulababy · 17/04/2007 21:14

DD has two. The first, Cotcha, first ca,e around when she was pretty small - before 2yo I am sure. The second, Bella, came about a few months later. They were very prominent for a good while. DD is now 5yo and although they do still exist they are talked about less and less. DD has always said her friends are invisible and not real, so is in no way deluded about it all.

fransmom · 17/04/2007 21:24

it depends on what you believe.

young children are naturally very psychic and can see many spirits that their parents can't. it's nothing to be afraid of - i believe that they are seeing guardian angels or members of their family that have passed away before or even spirit children. i know for a fact that my dd has seen her nannies - my m passed 8 years this year and dp's m passed about 4 years ago.

sometimes, as children grow up they realise that their being able to see things like this kind of upsets their parents in some way; so they mention it less and less and may even forget their abilities. it may, therefore, seem that these friends are imaginary.

MrsWho · 17/04/2007 22:01

dd2 has loads, dd1 has never mentioned any.Dd2s are naughty ones too

Bambiraptor · 17/04/2007 22:03

fransmom, you are scaring me! My ds has started blaming naughty behaviuor on someone called 'Beastly'. I hope he is not seeing something like you described.

fransmom · 17/04/2007 22:05

it's not meant to be scary _but- if he is genuinely seeing this "beastly" then you may need to visit your local church and ask vicar type person to come and bless your house. alternatively, ask Archangel Michael to reside in your house and to help you to protect it from unwanted presence.

Bambiraptor · 17/04/2007 22:25

I am now terrified!!!

lucy5 · 17/04/2007 22:27

My dd used to have Granpa Bowl who came down the chimney and whizzed round the ceiling when we weren't there. I was a bit worried. She made up a really elaborate story and does ocassionally talk about the time whe he did this or that.

fransmom · 17/04/2007 22:30

please don't be terrified.

it may well be over active imagination if it isn't just have word with local church

pickledpear · 17/04/2007 22:44

dd is 7 now but when my husband left 3yrs ago she created a whole family and her new mum lived down the road we passed her house every day she would comment on whether she was home or not as we past. 1 day she told me very casually that they had moved her caravan from the drive so she cant go home now as she has no where to sleep. i was her aunty for a year.... her mother never knew her name just called her a little s.h.i.t as she choose to stay with me (apparently). The health visitor assured me this was a good sign of her dealing with what was going on in her life and now it is a joke in the car when we pass

Bambiraptor · 17/04/2007 22:51

Children's brains are amazing. They can make a way to deal with incredibly difficult situations.
I think my ds's creation must be to do with starting the foundation unit at his school.
He sometimes is 'Beastly' and says don't call me "his name' I am Beastly. I think it must be the stress he is feeling from starting pre-school. He is only 3, and is very imaginitive.

hotcrossbunny · 17/04/2007 22:56

We have Naney who tells dd to do naughty things. It's always 'Naney did that, Naney told me to do x,' We even have Saney, and Taney too for good measure ( when behaviour is truly awful!) Dd is very clever we think She is 3.5 and ahead of us....

lillochum · 17/04/2007 23:10

I remember my bro had a useful fall guy - it was always "Fred did it". Fred didn't figure in any other sense, but it worked a treat at diffusing mum's rage - she had to struggle not to smile, (wish I had thought of that!) My youngest (4yrs) has an imaginary house of his own, (a purple one) with all sorts of desirable features he is constantly adding to (including a helipad doncha know!). The only worrying one was dd2 playing with "pretend friends" at school when she couldn't or wouldn't play with real children in the playground. Seems to have been a passing phase thankfully. She has always loved games with lots of imagination and "pretend".

nallydoolally · 17/04/2007 23:13

dd1 used to have one called Ghosty (which freaked me out for a while) who was very disruptive, messing up her room, blocking the toilet.... ds has one called My Pretend Friend Owen. My Pretend Friend Owen is good at football and is a ninja.

nallydoolally · 17/04/2007 23:16

Oh yes and ds often talks about his other house, the blue one, in Nigeria, where his other daddy lives... where the roads are green and the grass is blue and everything is green and blue (he is loving his globe atm).. he has a whole other family there.

fransmom · 18/04/2007 19:39

sometimes children talk about past lives but there isn't many distinctions between that one and this one but like i said it depends whether you believe certain things - or not, as the case may be.

fennel · 18/04/2007 19:44

I found dd2, aged 4, crying once. Apparently her imaginary friend was better than her at reading and numeracy work at school.

not that she's competitive or anything....

Marne · 18/04/2007 19:50

Dd1 (3) has started to talk to Lucy, she was shopping with us the other day.

LindzDelirium · 19/04/2007 14:39

For the past two years we have lived with a family of imaginary crabs,head of the family being called Charlie. DD is 4.5. I put it down to her being an only child, although I don't think I ever had an imaginary crab!

Rosylily · 20/04/2007 09:24

My dd had a friend called Emma from age 2 to 3.5 now she is 4 Emma is gone. She used to say Emma was already 'deaded' . I even found myself pushing an empty swing once!

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adath · 20/04/2007 09:32

Yes we have one here too.
He is called....pretend friend. Sometimes he is given a name but usually just pretend friend.
We also have a little boy who did it and ran away (thank my dad for that one) who is extremely naughty the things he gets up to and dd is left standing at the scene

Caroline1852 · 20/04/2007 09:46

My ds (now 11) had an imaginary friend when he was about 3. His name was Cooper (not sure where he got that from). We used to have to set a place and leave an empty chair next to DS for Cooper and he used to come with us on trips in the car. There was never anything troubling about it, we all accepted Cooper as totally real. We lived overseas at the time (perhaps the move overseas was material in his arrival?). We were there for 2 years and DS announced that Cooper was staying on in the country we were leaving to live with the expat family that would be moving into our house. Never to be heard of again. Except now occasionally, we tell him about his old friend Cooper (oldest son often says "I can't sit there because Cooper is sitting there") but I don't think he really remembers it - just laughs at the story.

Norfolkinhope · 20/04/2007 09:46

Lucykate - I think you should be sneakily very proud of her. When DW was small, she used to have 50 imaginary horses - each with their own colour, temperament etc.

DW is a v. creative person and I think the imaginary friend thing is just a manifestation of not a mind which doesn't limit itself to tangible things.

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