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Another child bit my child

(146 Posts)
bordellosboheme Mon 22-Apr-13 11:48:38

Hard on the finger. It has swollen up and is purple. My ds is 17 months and the offender is 6 months older and is a serial offender... Ds is such a gentle soul. I feel pissed off.... Talk to me please and help me feel better......

bordellosboheme Mon 22-Apr-13 13:02:26

It's a real issue actually Colditz. This is mumsnet I am posting about my sons finger which is bleeding, bruised and swollen and as a first time mum I am after advice about the practical and parenting side of biting. The majority have people have given me reassuring advice (thank you).

bordellosboheme Mon 22-Apr-13 13:03:31

Nottreadinggrapes..... Er yes, it's bleeding, it could be infected. They cleaned it up and bandaged it. What's your problem with that??????

showtunesgirl Mon 22-Apr-13 13:04:32

My DD was bitten by another child at her CM the other week but as far as I was concerned, it's not the CM's fault, it's not the mother's fault and it's not the child's fault. It will just require monitoring.

When I picked DD up, the CM told me what happened and the mother of the child was apologising profusely but it's not her fault so why should I make her feel bad about something that she was obviously rather distressed about?

From what I've read, biting is very, very common and a bitee can well become a biter so don't be too quick to judge.

NotTreadingGrapes Mon 22-Apr-13 13:05:35

Do they know you well at the doctors?

(and most of the posts have told you not to be so silly btw)

bordellosboheme Mon 22-Apr-13 13:06:01

Klou111 that sounds awful. You do wonder why some children are so antisocial.

AnyaKnowIt Mon 22-Apr-13 13:07:10

Welcome to the world of toddlerhood. grin

bordellosboheme Mon 22-Apr-13 13:08:35

Nottreadinggrapes.... Be nice please. It's a wound ffs.... Toddlers mouths are full of bacteria like step and staph.... I'm not just going to leave it am I (and no, the doctors hardly know me).

houmousandcarrotsandwich Mon 22-Apr-13 13:08:38

I don't usually get involved in this sort of thread, but this is a subject very close to my heart.
I currently have a 3 year old biter (and other violence too, but that's on another thread). It is making me very sad. My logic says it's a phase etc etc, but in my heart it hurts. I dread going anywhere with him, but I get that I just need to get out. I stick to him like glue, but I cannot always stop him despite my best efforts.
I'm sure my invites to play dates, parties etc has declined because of this.

So yes your pissed (prob more at yourself because you didn't want to go before you even went) & your child has been hurt (but toddlers make a living out of minor injuries, isn't that how they learn certain things?!). But that Childs mother is probably feeling like the world is her judge and is questioning her parenting(even if not while you were around).
I think it is she who needs a sympathetic ear

showtunesgirl Mon 22-Apr-13 13:09:36

You do wonder why some children are so antisocial.

Of FFS, they are just little, they are NOT being antisocial. Biting is a developmental phase for some!

DreamsTurnToGoldDust Mon 22-Apr-13 13:11:42

This is mumsnet I am posting about my sons finger which is bleeding, bruised and swollen and as a first time mum I am after advice about the practical and parenting side of biting

No your not, you posted that you wont be going to your friends again, the child has issues and compared it to a dog and said parents of bitees should be more vigilant.

You didnt want advice, you wanted a bitch about toddlers who bite, and to judge parents who children are going through or have gone through a biting stage.

Im sorry your son is hurt, its horrible and is upsetting, no one likes to see their LO hurt, but it wasnt a deliberate act, and your child could very well turn into a biter before you know it.

Themobstersknife Mon 22-Apr-13 13:13:06

Its bleeding? Really? How come you didn't mention that in your first post? I have never known a toddler bite to cause a wound. How strange.
I have two girls, both have bitten at nursery. What would you suggest I do about it, to cure them of their issues?

Bumply Mon 22-Apr-13 13:13:17

DS1 had a period when he was at nursery where another toddler was jealous of the attention DS1 got and would bite him at every opportunity.

Nursery staff did everything that they could to keep them apart, but the other boy would do things like waiting until another child fell and nursery staff went to assist before rushing in to bite DS1 while they were occupied.

Some of the bites were nasty. It was upsetting to DS1 and everyone else involved. It resolved by the Mother of the other child going back to original nursery where he had had no issue.

About 9 months later my DS1 started biting other children at nursery. Possibly learned behaviour, probably more just to his hitting the age at which such things are typical. Nursery staff did their best to deal with the issue, although some suggestions like putting him in with the after school kids in the hopes he'd be intimidated by their size didn't help - he just bit the older children too. Eventually he grew out of it.

There's not a lot you can do about it when they're toddlers. Just endless patience in getting across to them that it's not to be tolerated and limiting the chances of it occurring wherever possible.

bordellosboheme Mon 22-Apr-13 13:13:55

Sorry to hear that houmousandcarrots it must be awful to be on the other side of it too..... hmm

Themobstersknife Mon 22-Apr-13 13:13:58

It should have said 'wound' and 'issues'.

bordellosboheme Mon 22-Apr-13 13:19:27

Are you saying I haven't come on here for advice dreamsturntodust? I think I know my intention and I think I have! I might also be bitching, but that's because I am human and I am angry.

Northumberlandlass Mon 22-Apr-13 13:19:40

Bordello - I am not being mean saying this, but your child will probably bite / smack another child in the face with a light saber / throw lego at another child quite soon.....DO NOT judge.

AnyaKnowIt Mon 22-Apr-13 13:21:22

Why the bitching? Its normal for toddlers to bite.

You comfort your child and get over it.

bordellosboheme Mon 22-Apr-13 13:21:23

Themobsterknife...... 'I have never seen a toddler bite cause a wound'..... Are you kidding me?

NotTreadingGrapes Mon 22-Apr-13 13:21:35

You want practical advice?

OK, soap, water, a cuddle. Sorted.

And be careful of the hubris. It will bite you on the bum for sure. (no pun intended)

NotTreadingGrapes Mon 22-Apr-13 13:22:46

And seriously....(and I am trying to be nice now) you sound a leedle bit over anxious. Maybe try not to see bacteria and death and gloom in every little mishap?

IwishIwasmoreorganised Mon 22-Apr-13 13:23:29

OP - you didn't initially say that your dc's finger was bleeding. I have never heard of or seen a child's bite breaking the skin, especially on a fingers where there is little flesh for the teeth to actually sink into. That aside I hope that you bled the wound and ran it under clean free flowing water to minimise the infection risk. I assume you did a first aid course in preparation for your pfb's arrival?

Comparing the child to a dog and calling them anti social is an extreme over reaction and smacks of one who struggles to see much further than the end of their nose.

If you're lucky your dc will never bite, snatch, hit or push but as all of these things are normal toddler behaviour you might find very soon that your little treasure is also undergoing these normal developmental phases.

I hope that any victims of your dc have suitably understanding parents otherwise you could soon be seeing a great reduction in outings with your dc.

Themobstersknife Mon 22-Apr-13 13:23:37

No. I am not kidding. Maybe we have been lucky on the number of occasions have been biter or bitee.

DreamsTurnToGoldDust Mon 22-Apr-13 13:27:04

Well, tbh it doesnt sound as though you want advice, everyones telling you that biting is a phase some children go through. It doesnt mean that the other child has issues though does it? But there really is no need to bitch as very soon it could be your child biting or hitting, snatching etc... you wouldnt want your friends bitching about you would you?

gonedeafinoneear Mon 22-Apr-13 13:28:07

bordello you should read through some of the previous threads on this topic. You will see the response is pretty similar every time someone brings it up.

It is upsetting when your child is on the receiving end, especially if it's your first child as it's a bit of a shock. But it is also not at all unusual. If you don't like this child and her mother then yes, probably best you don't go round again.

Hope your DS's finger gets better soon.

Struckachord Mon 22-Apr-13 13:29:38

My dc has been the biter and the bitten. I was horrified the first time it happened (both being bitten and dc biting). I now realise that it is very common and a developmental phase. Although it sounds fairly bad, OP, unfortunately this is normal.

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