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Baby Names - why are some people so rude?

(152 Posts)
Metrobaby Mon 17-May-04 12:41:37

OK a bit of a rant here. My ds was nameless when he was born, but now 3 weeks on dh and I finally compromised on a name - Isaac.

Now I know whatever name you pick there will always be people who like it, and other people who don't. However, I am really surprised by some people's reactions to the name we chose. I've had some that have laughed, someone who asked if I was serious, someone who said 'oh dear', MIL who decided she's going to call him Ben (one of our considered alternatives) regardless, and my family who keep coming up with alternatives.

It just makes me fume - especially as I don't think the name we chose is that unusual. If people don't like the name why can't they keep their opinions to themselves? Or am I odd in that I would never dream of telling anyone that their baby's name was not nice?

I think I could do with one of Twinkie's famous put down lines ...

Fio2 Tue 18-May-04 08:29:36

I got told that my ds's name was girly. I dont know why people have to comment

Egypt Tue 18-May-04 08:33:17

one of our choices for baby if its a boy is Isaac. I have an Isaac in my class at school (teaching) and it is a lovely, lovely name. However, had a call from my sister the other day to tell me that she had something on her mind...."one of the names you are thinking of" - yes Isaac! couldnt believe she had the gaul to ring me and tell me that! shouldnt say what she said about it, but was quite racist, and said she would have a problem telling people that her nephew was called Isaac. Felt she would have to immediately explain that his father was white!!!!!!!!! and English!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am fuming.
I really don't want my family to dislike my baby's name, but at the same time - how rude????????

You go for it metrobaby. (havent told dh this story as he would probably go mad)
thinking of sending her this thread actually

aloha Tue 18-May-04 09:25:45

Busybee, I think Bryony is a pretty name.
Isaac is a nice name and as people have said, not even that unusual. I know a couple too. Classic and simple and abbreviates well.

Davros Tue 18-May-04 09:35:38

I think if you give a child a name that can be shortened itsn naive to think that people won't shorten it, especially at school where you have no influence. Best to pick a name you like all the versions of. MILs who use completely different names are another kettle of snakes though!

Janh Tue 18-May-04 09:41:36

Wedgiesmum, LOL at "That Burglar"

(Stripy T-shirt and sack labelled SWAG? Looks like Burglar Bill?)

How old is DS?

toddlerbob Tue 18-May-04 09:42:26

Davros you are right, I was naive, especially given that my MIL doesn't use the prefered version of dh's name. We do like all the versions of Robert - it's why we chose it. If he comes home from school with any of them (possibly except Berty) I would be happy. Next time though I am going for a name that can't be changed by her.

susanmt Tue 18-May-04 11:04:44

We got a funny reaction from some of dh's family when we called our ds Aidan. It was only after a few days that we realised it is seenin N.Ireland as a 'catholic' name! Well thy just had to get used to it and they did. I think it was partly that our daughters are Katherine and Rachel, very 'normal', and Aidan was a bit outside the box for most people in our families. It took dh's Grandma about 4 days to say it out loud, apparantly!! LOL

My FIL liked Katherine's middle name (Morna) better than Katherine and insisted on calling her that for a good couple of years - luckily he's a bit odd so we don't see him very often. Eventually I phoned him and said that if he kept on doing that he wouldn't get to see her and I wouldn't pass on cards, letters etc as it would be too confusing for her - he's never done it since and he didn't do it with either of the others!

Stick to your guns, Isaac is a lovely name and quite well used these days, I know 3! I was sorting out baby clothes that don't fit, returning others etc last week and the list of names I had to put on bags were : Daniel, Jacob, Isaac, Benjamin, Hannah, Rebekah, Rachel and Esther. DOn't tell me Old Testament names arent in.

You could always tell them is was going to be Nebuchanezzar! And if he was a girl it would have been Jezebel!

quicknamechange Tue 18-May-04 11:31:29

We had the same thing for dd. Her name is Francesca and my great aunt kept saying that it was awful and she couldn't imagine why we had chosen it - after several weeks (she is 96), we found out that she thought we had named her Manchester! It was painstakingly explained to her that she'd misheard, and she then came up with "oh, not Manchester, Granchester!".

The snob in her was better pleased with that as she thought Granchester was a nicer place...

lilymum Tue 18-May-04 11:42:24

Have come to this one a bit late, but totally out of order of your MIL metrobaby. Absolutely none of her business, YOUR son, not hers. Isaac is fab name, one I would definitely consider for a boy.

Similar experience with my MIL got my blood boiling when she came to visit us after dd3 was born. We called her Emilia on her birth certificate, but told everyone from the word go we intended to shorten it to Milly, a name which I really love. MIL, announced to me in a room full of people (was dd3's baptism and first time MIL had visited us since she was born 8 weeks previously) that she loved Emilia, but thought Milly so old fashioned, reminded her of someone who had been murdered and an old maiden aunt, so if I didn't mind, she would call her Emilia. Managed to answer "call her what you like" and stormed off. FURIOUS with her. Still, comforted myself with the fact that she only sees us about twice a year, so she could call her Noodle if she wants and I would hardly notice.

I think it's a control question that prompts people to want to interfere - they should have the wit and the tact to keep their mouths closed.

Right. Rant over.

Demented Tue 18-May-04 11:47:29

Isaac's a great name, my two have Celtic names but if I had another baby I would either go for another Celtic name or a more unusual Bible name. You can't let your MIL away with it, loads of good suggestions here to deal with her though.

marialuisa Tue 18-May-04 12:00:23

what happens when people turn into grandparents? My mum is mad with her mum for insisting on calling Dsis "Elena" (full and correct) rather than "Ellie" (been used since day 1) and even chose the Elena spelling because gran insisted on pronouncing it "Elea-NOR" before dsis was born!

Gran is mad though, she calls another sister's boyf "Alexander" even though she's been told it's Alex, shortened from Alexei....

nightowl Tue 18-May-04 23:33:41

my baby's shortened name is Ari. people think im calling her harry and that shes a boy! oh well! i think isaac is a lovely name btw.

fisil Wed 19-May-04 07:19:56

My name was changed - twice. Before I was born my Granny (mum's mum) simply said "you can't call a child fisil." So instead I was called Katsil, with Fisil as a middle name. But after a few days and adverse comments about Katsil my parents decided to revert to Fisil. Throughout my childhood I wanted to change my name to Katsil (as I didn't want to have an unusual name). By the time I decided I preferred an unusual name, Fisil was no longer all that unusual! Don't let your ds know about all this silliness about his name - I would rather not know all this stuff about my name - I would rather it was just my name without people's comments.

And Isaac is a gorgeous name - stick with it. You chose it for him, so it's his name.

SoupDragon Wed 19-May-04 07:57:33

Given that my mother managed to saddle me with a name that rhymed, she really couldn't comment on my (I mean our) choice of names for our DSs. And no one *has* said anything negative about them.

Fio2 Wed 19-May-04 07:57:33

fisil you have a beautiful name, only belonging to beautiful women

Soozi Tue 25-May-04 21:19:06

A lovely name. And I have to admit to quite liking Apple too. Cinnammon is also nice. Think how boring the world would be if we were all called the same non-risque names. I traced my family tree and every generation was either Robert or Andrew for the males and Mary or Sarah for the females.

I'd love to have been given a real wacky name.

dejags Tue 25-May-04 21:37:45

Metrobaby - completely out of order in my opinion!!

However I sympathise with not knowing what to say. We called our DS Caelan (pronounced without the A as "kehlin" )- it drives me nuts that my best friend insists on pronouncing his name phonetically despite the fact that she must hear us saying his name differently. I don't have the guts to say anything though .

Somebody mis-pronounced his name last week and he turned around and corrected them in a loud voice - I was so proud

We have had loads of people complain that his name is awful - I don't care we love it and combined with his second name and surname its quite lyrical. DS2 is due in 15 weeks time and we are having such a hard time coming up with a name - trying too hard to strike the balance between something original and something which nobody can mispronounce...

Isaac is gorgeous btw... Just try to take no notice...

stringbean Tue 25-May-04 21:46:57

I think Isaac is a lovely name - it's on our list of potential boys names (I'm 22 weeks pg); but it does annoy me that people think they can offer their opinions like this when it's none of their business.

The other thing that annoys me is people vetoing potential names for unborn babies, such that I'm no longer going to tell my family what's on our list, as my mother vetoed Eleanor as a potential girls name recently. Her reason? She had an Aunt Eleanor, who she liked, but Aunt E was married to Uncle Tom, who my mother loathed, so the name would be a constant reminder....I can't win!

woodpops Tue 25-May-04 22:01:15

What a lovely name. We kept our choice of names secrect until ds was born he was then introduced to all family and friends by his name Ellis and no other choices we're ever revealed they couldn't then say, such and such was a much nicer name. There were however a few turned up noises. But stuff um. It would be boring if we were all the same. I do like unusual names though. Go to the park and call 'Ellis' my ds turns round, go and call 'Jack' on the other hand and half the kids on the park turn round!!!! That's not meant as a critisium to anyone who has a Jack!!!

Paula71 Tue 25-May-04 22:37:37

Oooh Soozi I like Cinnamon, that would be lovely for a girl born at Christmastime.

Apple, however, I am still at odds with. I suppose it depends on the accent saying it.

Aero Tue 25-May-04 22:44:53

Have just read most of this thread and haven't seen ds2's (19wks) on it amongst the old Biblical names. People can be so rude - even if they are not meaning to be. Having given our ds1 and dd irish names (though easy to spell), we couldn't find another one that we liked enough for ds2 and decided to call him Noah which I love. It's a bonafide name, not a car or a place and I feel totally comfortable with it. Even if it were a car or a place, it's no-one elses place to be rude no matter what their opinion (and that's all it is - an opinion) is. Someone had the audacity to say "What have you done to him?". grrrrrr!! Isaac was also one we considered as was Jonah. Nothing wrong with it. You should hear my middle name!! Am glad it's in the middle, but am proud of it's unusuality and have passed it to dd (also in middle).

Easy Tue 25-May-04 22:56:23

How's this then ... When I was born I had to be admitted straight away into a children's orthopaedics ward for surgery. There was already a baby on that ward called Elizabeth (my first name), so the nurses started to refer to me by my middle name.

Because I was in so long, my middle name stuck as the name I am known by. So really, I was named by a bunch of strangers !!

jampot Tue 25-May-04 23:10:26

Stringbean - my daughters name is Eleanor which I think is absolutely beautiful. She is known as Ellie at school which suits her (for now).

Chandra Wed 26-May-04 01:59:44

No need to say that Isaac is nice because it is, however, I have found quite reasuring all the responses about your MIL. My MIL also uses a diferent name for my ds. I have asked her not to use another name but she has replied that she would call him whatever name she wants because she found his name "unatural", I mentioned about changing her name and she said she wouldn't care as she doesn't like her own name, however Twinkie's advice seems more promising. Sadly, being so rude with all our family she is not getting many opportunites to use the name she has chosen for our son...

marialuisa Wed 26-May-04 09:55:17

to reassure anyone else who has given their children unusual names

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