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If 1st child has 2 middle names does 2nd child need to have the same?

(33 Posts)
LarkinSky Tue 23-Oct-12 11:47:11

Just that really: I insisted that DD had two middle names, overruling DH, because I had 2 myself.

One of the middle names is a lovely and meaningful family name (my mums and my middle name), the other is a hormone-influenced more random choice that we're slightly embarrassed about. (old, though not unusual, welsh name).

So dc2 is due any day, we have lovely first names lined up and one middle name per gender,but does our second child need to have 2 middle names because our first does? Could it cause sibling issues in future?

It wouldn't be too hard to pick a second middle name at this stage, although it could be yet another hormone-influenced choice of course!


notMarlene Tue 23-Oct-12 11:49:20

Yup, I'd say so. Friends of mine argued about this as children a lot the second DD had one NN and her sister insisted it was because she was less important sad

MolotovBomb Tue 23-Oct-12 11:55:27

^ ^ I agree.

Also, it would drive me mad because there wouldn't be the sense of evenness, IYSWIM. But it's not absolutely necessary. it days more about my need to pair!

MolotovBomb Tue 23-Oct-12 11:57:01

'says' not 'day's' flippin' iPhone...

Felicitywascold Tue 23-Oct-12 11:57:21

Absolutely not necessary, why would it be? FGS treat your children equally, don't treat them the same.

javotte Tue 23-Oct-12 12:24:49

My parents didn't give me a middle name, but both my siblings have got one. I must say I am a little resentful, as if they couldn't be bothered to think of another name.

AlphaBeta82 Tue 23-Oct-12 12:26:33

I'm in the same boat. DH insists next child (currently pregnant) has to have 2 middle names as DS does. If it is a girl I can cope with that, another boy and we've used all the middle names we like!!!

hanahsaunt Tue 23-Oct-12 12:33:20

Our first three all have one middle name. Our fourth has two - she's the last and the only girl so we just used up all the names. The boys don't feel hard done by because they are all the same.

LarkinSky Tue 23-Oct-12 13:09:07

Thanks for the replies. So the verdict is child no. should also have 2 middle names? I can live with that, just need to pick 2 more nice names (one girl and one boy).

DH may think its a bit pointless. He always thought having 2 middle names was unnecessary but i overruled him. Typing from my maternity ward, and all that entails, I'm feeling a bit non-plussed at this stage too though!

At least we have first names in hand this time....

LarkinSky Tue 23-Oct-12 13:10:25

Sorry "child no. 2 should also". I checked before posting as well.

eBook Tue 23-Oct-12 13:19:07

Yes I think do the same again.

BikeRunSki Tue 23-Oct-12 13:23:30

Yes, the younger one would always feel short changed otherwise. My DC2 has 2 MN for this reason. My mum only has 1 mn and her brothers both have 2. 65 years later she is still miffed by it. Shows the patriarchal nature of my grandfather's family.

MrsBungleBear Tue 23-Oct-12 13:27:38

My DD has 2 middle names - one of them my mum's name another one which is meaningful to us.

My DS has only one middle name but his middle name is my maiden name (lots of people do this with boys in Scotland) and he only has one. Because his middle name has my maiden name, adding any other name sounded like another whole name in the middle. I also thought that since his middle name is a surname it kind of evened out!

If I had had another girl, though, she would have had 2 middle names.

Gwennan Tue 23-Oct-12 13:28:37

For what it's worth, I think it is possible to have different naming traditions for boys and girls - e.g. all the boys' get their father's middle name, all of the girls' get their maternal grandmother's first name, or whatever. On that basis, I'd definitely pick two middle names if you have another DD and I'd make sure at least one of them had a family connection (your DP's mum's middle name, perhaps?).

I'd think about giving your DS his dad's middle name as a second middle name to even things up so he's got a family name too, like his sister.

Gwennan Tue 23-Oct-12 13:29:11

Excuse the stray apostrophes in the above post. Lunchtime-induced grammatical mindfog.

LarkinSky Tue 23-Oct-12 16:18:56

Good ideas here, I think I need to write some names out and see how they look. Am so last minute with this!

kilmuir Tue 23-Oct-12 16:20:22

really? why would the children care

LarkinSky Tue 23-Oct-12 16:24:49

That's sort of what I'm asking kilmuir, would you mind having just one middle name if your sibling had two?

LarkinSky Tue 23-Oct-12 16:32:24

I would have minded, you see, but I might be a bit strange and fixated on middle names... As a child I even invented a third middle name ('ruth') and persuaded my teachers it was real until my parents corrected them. blush
I thought more middle names = better more princess like
I am no longer stuck with that view!

Hence the thread as otherwise there is no real need for this (2nd) child to have 2, and No obvious choice for a second name although it won't be hard to pick one from our short list/family names.

AlwaysHoldingOnToStarbug Tue 23-Oct-12 17:16:11

No. I have 2 middle names, my brother has 1. Dh and his 2 brothers have 1 middle name, his sister doesn't have one. DS1 has 2 middle names, my other 4 boys have 1.

I was given middle names after both my nans. DS1 was given family middle names as I wasn't sure if I'd have more boys (ha!)

I don't think it's ever bothered anyone in our families that they have different numbers of middle names.

Yika Tue 23-Oct-12 21:07:19

My bro has 2 middle names, everyone else in my family has one. It's never once occurred to me that this might bother anyone! (perhaps because he's the youngest and my sister and I also got a say in the names discussion, even if our favoured name was overruled in the end!)

nemno Tue 23-Oct-12 21:13:03

1 of my siblings has one less than the other 2 of us. I know he used to mind.

eurycantha Tue 23-Oct-12 21:21:18

My brothers had middle names ,I know that I was a rush job baptism in hospital with the priest as I was very ill, anyway I always wanted a middle name when I was younger.

SpecialAgentSpade Tue 23-Oct-12 21:31:07

I'm the eldest and I have 1 middle name. My brother (younger) has 2. Go figure...

bramblina Tue 23-Oct-12 21:39:14

If that is the reason to be giving a child a middle name then IMHO I believe it's a daft reason for having a middle name at all. Why actually have a middle name?

OK so some people like to give the child a name of it's own then a family name- it's not for me but I can see that it is for others. But to only give a child 2 or any amount, just because a sibling has....? What if you end up "having" to choose a name that doesn't really mean as much to you as your older child's middle names do? How do you find one (two) that is/are equal?

You can tell that our 3 children do not have middle names, yes?!

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