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AIBU?

to not want to 'go shopping with the girls'

55 replies

duelingFANGo · 25/10/2009 09:51

Does anyone else here feel a rising dread when it's suggested that you spend time with the wives/partners in your group of friends?

Am off out to a thing this weekend which will involve eating, drinking and being merry in the open air. When I said I wouldn't be wanting to get rat-arsed because I am TTC my DH suggested that I would be ok because I could go 'shopping with the girls'.

Arrgghhhh... I can't think of anything worse than ambling round shops looking at things I don't want or can't afford. I'd rather be having good conversation about things that are more interesting...

OP posts:

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pointyhat · 25/10/2009 09:55

I've never been in that situation where the men do one thing and all the women are expected to socialise too. I don't think I'd like it at all.

I do what I want to with my own friends and I have never gone shopping with them.

If I were you, I'd sit in the pub, gassing.

Prinnie · 25/10/2009 09:56

No - I am exactly the same - I hate 'out with the girls' stuff (unless it's myvery small group of girl friends that i've been friends with for 10+ years).

I generally prefer male company - I often find women's chat very unintellectual and I often find it very difficult to strike up a rapport with new women I'm introduced to as I'm a bit of a geek in truth!

teameric · 25/10/2009 10:00

YANBU hate those kind of situations!
Prinnie you sound like me!

Seuss · 25/10/2009 10:00

Can I go?

deaddei · 25/10/2009 10:01

I'm not surprised you find it hard to strike up a rapport with new women, Prinnie , if you find their chat "unintellectual". How pompous.

borderslass · 25/10/2009 10:04

YANBU I hate going shopping on my own even.

pointyhat · 25/10/2009 10:05

women's chat very unintellectual . Heaven help us

ScaredOfEverything · 25/10/2009 10:06

Shame on your prinnie. "Unintellectual"? Heaven help us.

OP - YANBU if that is not your kind of thing.

ScaredOfEverything · 25/10/2009 10:07

sorry should say "shame on YOU prinnie"

Perhaps I am "unintellectual" after all

teameric · 25/10/2009 10:08

I meant being a geek and not being able to strike up a rapport because of that when I said Prinnie sounded like me, not the unintellectual part really cos I'm not exactly intellectual myself .

duelingFANGo · 25/10/2009 10:35

I am sure what prinnie means is the experience she has had with women who just make small talk about hair and lipstick? they do exist.

OP posts:

SorciereAnna · 25/10/2009 10:36

I never go shopping with other women! Only with DP or DD, or on my own.

fizzpops · 25/10/2009 11:08

I think I can understand what Prinnie means - she just wants to talk about something more than the usual chitchat of women who don't know each other very well.

Unfortunately it is necessary to persist with the chitchat until you know people better.

Personally I prefer a superficial conversation when getting to know someone . There is time for more serious stuff once you are friends imo.

ImSoNotTelling · 25/10/2009 11:19

I'd go and sit in the pub if I were you OP. Can't think of anything worse than trawling round the shops for hours with anyone, unintellectual or otherwise

Missy8c · 25/10/2009 11:43

I know exactly what you mean. I hate being pushed into any event with the WAGS of my partner....as if you're supposed to get along just because you're the same sex. And I understand fully the all-female 'highlights and eyeliner' chatting which I hate. Some women really are like that. I'd stay in the pub too (shopping is best alone or with nearest and tolerant dearest IMO), drinking or not. Anyway, you never know, there might be another like minded soul among the female contingent who you will strike up a rapport with.

Lavenderfleurs · 25/10/2009 11:48

I hate being lumped in with "the girls" like that. My in laws were horrendous for it. They are Welsh and for some reason have extremely clearly defined Gender roles that don't seem to have moved with the times. We all went on a family trip to Brussells and ex and his Dad pissed off to the pub while we girls were all expected to shop till we dropped! I still fume about it today and it was 4 years ago! There were many occasions like this though.

CymbidiumHybrid · 25/10/2009 11:52

I love going out with 'The Girls', but, they all know that I despise Shopping in any way shape or form so don't bother asking.

I love sitting in a wine bar though and chatting about nothing in particular.

I also have some friends that don't like talking about fashion, family etc and love talking about art, music, books etc and I love having afternoons with those too.

Hassled · 25/10/2009 11:52

I can't abide shopping with friends - either they walk to slowly or they walk too quickly or they spend too long dithering or they don't let me spend enough time dithering. I shop alone or with DD, who is well trained and usually quite tactful .

Hassled · 25/10/2009 11:52

too slowly

skidoodle · 25/10/2009 11:53

If it's your groups of friends, then surely you can hang out with whomever you please? If you'd prefer to eat, drink and be merry just go for it. Nobody will think ill of you for that.

I really don't enjoy shopping (although I do very much enjoy the company and conversation of women) and I would not be pleased if it was expected that I would traipse around shops because that was what other women were doing.

Prinnie · 25/10/2009 21:15

I'm sorry if I sounded pompous - I really didn't mean to - this is exactly the kind of awkwardness I have.

But yes - duelingfango & teameric I find the small talk about lipstick and fit men who have just walked into the bar really difficult - at home me and DH discuss, software, technology, gardening, science, politics all the time and like you say - people don't tend to talk about those things to start off with - especially women, the men I know tend to get heavier earlier on.

I really didn't mean to offend anyone, really sorry.

LetThereBeRock · 25/10/2009 21:17

YANBU. I hate shopping with anyone other than a few select friends and my mother. I hate most clothes stores and don't enjoy shopping for them.

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LetThereBeRock · 25/10/2009 21:17

Shopping for clothes not clothes stores of course.

pipWereRabbit · 25/10/2009 21:20

I hate shopping with anyone else - it's a private pleasure....

But I'm all for 'shopping' when it's a euphemism for 'find the nearest bar/eaterie and sit around talking for an hour or two'.

2rebecca · 25/10/2009 21:22

Never been in this situation. My friends are my friends and my husbands' are his. Sometimes friends overlap, usually they don't.
I wouldn't go away with my husband and his mates and their wives.
I'm not a "girlie" sort of woman and hate shopping. I'd stay at home in your situation, but our social life generally doesn't revolve around doing group coupley sort of things so have never been put in this sort of situation.
If the women don't know each other well why are you all going?

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