Your advice is really needed......I am feeling really really upset
DH and I have been together for 13 years, married for 3 years. His mum has always had a drink and anger problem since the death of my DH brother from a cot death. As DH and I were dating I often saw her aggression and violence towards my DH and his dad and me on one occassion, this was always hidden from the rest of the family. The rest of the family appaered very close, every christmas together, never did anyone go to their inlaws etc, headed up by DH nan. They are all heavy smokers but nobody was aware just how bad DH mums drinking was.
When we married we I surpose broke the tradition by spending half the time with my family too, it was hard work being around his mum and putting on an act everything was ok. Over the years we saw less and less of his mum as she worked unsociable hours and to be honest was hard work to be around. DH saw lots of his dad but if his mum found out she went mental so it was hard.
Then the time came for our first baby and I knew DH was very very worried about this and his mum. He called her and explained we were worried about her smoking and drinking and she needed to sort this out.......this was the first time DH or anyone had confronted her about this.
The day our son was born she arrived drunk and crying he was going to die, it was just terrible she finally left and I just cried all night, then days later we were left wondering why the rest of DH family hadn't visited..........she had told them she had been banned from seeing our baby!! This was not true at all.
All his family refused to believe our version of things, massive arguments followed and his nan died in this time. We are now 2 years on, most of his family have never seen our LO and live yards away.DH has tried and tried. He has worked hard to encourage his mum to visit and she says she will next week........I hate her but will do anything to make DH happy.
We are due to have our second baby soon, Christmas is coming and DH has never been so low.
This evening one cousin who had once or twice visited our son (under cover) popped up on facebook. I said she must pop round.......she replied only when YOU applogise to my family for banning x from seeing your baby!
I hate this evil situation where people seem to love making others so unhappy.
Thank god we have my family but DH is so sad.
What do I do......feeling so lost.....
Please or to access all these features
Please
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AIBU?
to feel so so so very sad for DH and that its all my fault
27 replies
tryingtobemarypoppins · 02/09/2009 21:16
OP posts:
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