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AIBU?

to want to deck the manager of a West End cinema?

41 replies

lottiejenkins · 26/08/2009 18:55

Last night i took my son to the cinema in the West End while we were in London for the night.... So far so good. He is very over excitable (ADHD) and profoundly deaf so isnt aware of how much noise he makes........ He was quite noisy while we were queueing up, when we went to go down to the screening the manager of the cinema called me to one side and said "Madam your son wont make too much noise in there and disturb the other patrons will he?" I was quite upset understandably and said "Trust me he wont be!" I have been to the cinema with him before and there have been people in there who have made more noise than he does! AIBU to be upset??

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LaurieFairyCake · 26/08/2009 18:57

But he was polite?

I can see nothing to complain about if that's all he said - it's a perfectly reasonable question to ask if he's noisy in the queue surely?

bibbitybobbityhat · 26/08/2009 18:58

Unfortunately the manager of the cinema is not aware of your sons conditions, is he?

Please don't be upset because strangers are (literally) ignorant of your particular circumstances.

It sounds like he was rather polite when addressing you, Madam .

lottiejenkins · 26/08/2009 18:59

I forgot to say he knew my son was deaf because he had been watching him signing!

OP posts:

KIMItheThreadSlayer · 26/08/2009 19:00

Sorry but I think you are being a little unreasonable as he had no idea about your sons needs at the time of asking you. Does not sound as if he was rude to you in the least.

hercules1 · 26/08/2009 19:02

THe manager doesnt sound unreasonable at all.

YouLukaPrettyAmazing · 26/08/2009 19:03

I would be upset too Lottie, even if it was unreasonable to be so
Did you enjoy the film?

vjg13 · 26/08/2009 19:20

I think the manager should have waited to see if there was a problem when the film was actually on rather than saying this. YANBU!

Lots of kids are very excited when waiting to get tickets too. My daughter has LD and can be very loud but does calm down once it's dark.

I was put off having a party for her at our local cineworld cinema becuase of the poor attitude displayed by the staff when I mentioned a group of 10 kids with special needs.

junglist1 · 26/08/2009 19:20

Instead of panicking straight away maybe he could have waited and kept an eye once they were inside? My 6 year old is a complete madman but will zip up when the lights go down

bruxeur · 26/08/2009 19:23

In what way on earth is politely asking "Madam your son wont make too much noise in there and disturb the other patrons will he?" panicking?

violethill · 26/08/2009 19:33

All sounds very reasonable to me.

The manager has a job to do, which is to ensure the enjoyment of everyone at the cinema, and he was doing his best, politely to carry out his job.

If that had been my child, I'd have responded politely and said ' No I think everything will be fine thanks'. Not wanted to punch him.

junglist1 · 26/08/2009 19:44

Because he jumped on them before they'd even gone in. He made assumptions that didn't need to be made. That's not polite at all. It's saying he thinks the child is about to ruin the film for everyone else

chegirl · 26/08/2009 19:44

YANBU.

He was assuming that your son would be a problem. When he was asking 'will your son make too much noise' he meant 'I think your son will make too much noise'.

This could be applicable to all children and we dont all get asked this when we are taking our children to the cinema. Generally staff wait and see if there is going to be a problem before acting.

Wouldnt the other posters be a bit if this had happened to them because they had a chattering child with them. Would you not expect to be trusted to keep your child under control? Wouldnt it piss you off if someone assumed you were going to allow your child to jump around and shout?

YANBU.

junglist1 · 26/08/2009 19:46

Whappen che we are agreeing yet again

allaboutme · 26/08/2009 19:46

YANBU
totally agree with Chegirl
He should have waited to see if there would be a problem rather than assuming there would be one!

LaurieFairyCake · 26/08/2009 19:47

Er no.. he was already being noisy in the queue - perfectly reasonable to ask if it was likely he would continue.

he is not saying he 'thinks the child is going to ruin the film' he is politely asking a question.

Just cos people get all defensive and make stuff up in their heads doesn't change the fact that he only asked a question.

junglist1 · 26/08/2009 19:49

No no no no. He made up something in his head

TotalChaos · 26/08/2009 19:49

agree with Chegirl and Junglist. YANBU.

LaurieFairyCake · 26/08/2009 19:52

How did he make up 'quite noisy while we were queueing up' in his head

Child was noisy.
Manager asked if it was likely to continue inside.
Mum said No.
All accepted.

junglist1 · 26/08/2009 19:55

I was just about to log off aswell. Dammit.
But she is left wanting to deck him so is offended.
OP maybe don't deck him, maybe a pinch or something

bruxeur · 26/08/2009 19:56

Perhaps some people are just mindless thugs who can only respond to a situation violently?

junglist1 · 26/08/2009 19:58

Come on we have all decked someone in our imaginations. Haven't we....

lottiejenkins · 26/08/2009 19:58

Ok perhaps saying i wanted to punch him was being a bit over the top! It was the way he assumed my son wasnt going to behave himself !

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lottiejenkins · 26/08/2009 19:59

FGS Bruxeur I wouldnt have really punched anyone! Particularly not if i had my son with me! It was a way of saying i was unhappy with him!

OP posts:

vjg13 · 26/08/2009 20:01

Lottie, I don't think anyone thought you were serious!

bruxeur · 26/08/2009 20:01

Eloquent.

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