O.k so a bit of background. Towards the back end of last year we were visiting my bonkers SIL in Germany for a couple of days and I had a conversation with my DN whereby he was saying he was really excited about coming to our place and listing all the places he wanted to go in London. I was a little bemused by this as I wasn't aware of any impending visit so I asked DH about it and he had no idea what he was talking about either. So we asked SIL who laughed and said that DN had 'ruined the suprise' and went and got their flight details to show us. They had booked flights to London for the half term holidays on the assumtion that they would stay with us and we could take them round to sightsee. Except that, not knowing that they were even thinking of coming, we had also booked a holiday that week. All was not lost however as they were arriving on the friday night and we were flying the saturday morning so we offered them the use of our house and they would just have to do the sights on their own.
A few weeks later they arrived (and were monumental arseholes on arrival, but lets not rake that muck) and I was asking DN what they were planning to do first, to which SIL answered that they wouldn't be sightseeing as she had 'seen all the places before and didn't want to see them again' and 'taking children round a city is too much hard work' (her DS's are 9 and 14 btw) and she and BIL wanted to go shopping. It did cross my mind that this was a little selfish but it's their life, their kids so whatever.
Right, so a couple of weeks ago SIL rang up to give me DN's(14) flight details....eerr say what? SIL had booked flights for DN to come and stay with us for 10 days, again without bothering to ask us whether it was it was ok. I can't say I was thrilled by this prospect as I have two DS's of my own who are 4 and 2 and have no idea how to entertain teenagers and can't imagine why said teenager would want to hang out with toddlers for over a week but in the interest of familial harmony I thought 'suck it up and get on with it, it will be good for DS's to spend time with their cousin as we don't see them all that often'. He arrived on Friday night. Saturday we went to the park, today we've been swimming, all normal activities for us but DN is not happy. He complained to DH this evening that he was bored and said that he had 'plans' for his time here and when were we going to start doing the things he wanted to do? Namely, sightseeing - the London Eye, London Dungeon, Museum's, Buck Palace, etc, etc. A couple of problems with this....
One, we are brassic at the minute and I'm not talking 'just don't really feel like spending the money' skint but 'just cancelled my mobile phone contract, sold some jewellrey, set up a ebay account to sell crap desirable items from round the house', skint! Excluding our weekly swimming trip, DH and I had already decided to have an ice cream summer. Basically if a trip out cost us more than the price of some ice creams, then we're not doing it. This is no real hardship to my lads as they're at the age where a trip to the city farm or climbing trees in the park is the stuff of dreams anyway. Yes, I know, stop shouting that 'there's plenty of free sightseeing to be done Museum's etc' because this brings me to the second problem.....
DH works 2 jobs during the week and has to catch up on paperwork at the weekends so hasn't the time and I am 5 months pregnant, have chronic SPD and just don't feel I could physically cope with both DS's in the crowds, on public transport and chasing round museum corridors (I'm blessed with the kind of lads who would much rather be running, climbing, hiding blah, blah, blah, than looking at stuff) for several hours, on my own. Infact I'm positive it would cripple me, a couple of hours down the park had me almost in tears so a whole day would be agony.
The only other person who could do it is my BIL but he doesn't get on with his sister and had already said that he's not even going to visit DN, nevermind take him out. DH is going to ask round at work and see if anybody would help out but we're not holding our breath (I mean why would they?). I can't help feeling a bit bad for DN (even though he's being a bit of a shit typical teenager ) but DH reckon's I shouldn't as we didn't promise him anything and it's SIL who is BU by expecting us to do something that she wasn't prepared to do herself.
So I ask you, is it reasonable to tell DN that he's just going to have to hang out with us and if he's bored, he's bored or should I brave one trip to the ninth circle of hell city centre?
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AIBU?
to not take my nephew sightseeing? Sorry it's long.
52 replies
Rosesinautumn · 09/08/2009 22:58
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