to be upset that the postman let himself in to my house?!?!

[hereidrawtheline]

I turn the doorbell off every midday while DS naps as we live in a bungalow and the bell is very loud & the front door right near his bedroom and it closes very very loudly. It is stiff double glazing.

I have had the same postman for ages and he knows to just leave any packages outside the front door and I will get them later. I am the last house on a very quiet cul-de-sac.

Just now I was putting DS to bed and my heart sort of stopped because I heard someone open my front door. To add relevance there is the front door, then a double glazed porch thing and then an inner door which doesnt lock it just opens to the hallway.

I got up to see what it was and across the road I see a new postman. And in my porch, leaning up against the inner door to the hallway are 2 packages.

Now I am pretty upset about it. Firstly, on a practical level, I have the doorbell off in part so it doesnt ring but also because the door is so loud, you have to slam it to get it to close, that it always wakes DS up. DS is SN btw and his rare naps are the only breaks I get so they are sacred. So had DS already been asleep when this happened it would have woken him up.

But secondly I am just really upset the new postman let himself into my house!!! I mean I understand certain country ways that are less formal but I dont know him from adam and I have a long gravel drive on a very quiet road so it isnt like any packages left out are high theft risk. And dont you think its just wrong to walk into someone's house like that?!?! I feel really upset and I know it might be an irrational overreaction but I really did not like it. And I am not an overly precious person I am very laid back but I do draw the line and a total stranger letting himself in! AIBU?

[franklymydear]

No he didn't - he let himself into a porch because he was advised to leave them outside by whoever sent him on the round

it is standard for porches to have two main doors that lock not just one so he wasn't to know

it's an honest mistake and you should just ask him to please leave them outside

[kidcreoleandthecoconuts]

I'm the wrong person to ask as my postman always walks into my house and throws the mail in the utility room. If we're out he shoves it through the window. Or failing that puts it into our usually unlocked car!
I'm used to it now.....it's an Irish thing I think!

[hereidrawtheline]

well I will just make sure the front door is locked from now on when I put DS down for a nap.

[FranSanDisco]

I get annoyed when my parcels are left beside my plant pots but then my front door is locked. I guess he thought he was doing you a favour and as the door was unlocked put package inside property. Why did you have your door unlocked?

[mumblechum]

For goodness sake! He left them in the porch, he didn't let himself into your house. How was he supposed to know there wasn't a lock on the second door, there usually is.

YABVU

[GrimmaTheNome]

YANBU, but my guess is the postie saw the thing he opened as a porch door and assumed the inner one was the real front door. So long as he didn't come further in I don't think he was totally out of order - and he's not to know about the noisiness of the door and your DSs needs.

Why don't you lock the outer door when you turn off the doorbell - that might be the simplest way to stop a reoccurrence?

[peppapighastakenovermylife]

Wouldnt bother me I'm sorry. I would be pleased that my parcels weren't left outside to be stolen / get wet and that I didnt have to go to the post office to pick them up. He didnt go through the main door of your house but put the in the porch which is the action of a nice postman to me. Sorry

With regards to the heavy door being noisy I would maybe tell him or leave him a note so he doesnt do it again? I can understand being irritated it might wake DS up but he didnt know that.

My postmas is lovely but the replacement one put my parcels in the food/compost bin which had been left outside the door....was full of flies and bits of old food. Ewww!!! Now thats unreasonable lol

[hereidrawtheline]

ok I guess!

And I had it unlocked because I had recently used it.

[hereidrawtheline]

me and my postman have ticked along in a lovely way for a long time so I was very surprised that this new one did it this way! That's all!

[leonifay]

if it were me delivering i wouldnt want to leave them outside so i'd have probably dont the same thing if it were left unlocked. have you thought about putting a sign on the door or even ringing up royal mail and specifically telling them to leave them outside?

[franklymydear]

nice to see you pulling back from the brink

[hereidrawtheline]

I had a sign on the door ages ago but my postman and I know each other's ways now so there was no point anymore & I took it down. It is easily fixed I will just lock the door now when I turn the bell off.

[ZZZenAgain]

I wouldn't worry about it too much, if it has freaked you out to think someone might walk in off the street, then maybe you should just always keep the inner door locked during the day?

[hereidrawtheline]

there is no lock on the inner door. It is just decoration I guess, it was there when we moved in.

[hereidrawtheline]

nevermind. it freaked me out but I think I have realised I reacted out of a panicky feeling rather than logic.

[Tidey]

I would just have a word and say you'd prefer it if he just left them outside in future.

I wish our postman would do that instead of just shoving one of the those cards through and making me have to drive to the sorting office to get parcels. He doesn't even bother knocking first so someone can go and collect them.

[TrinityRhinoIsInDetention]

it's a porch
its normal

our postie just opens our actual front door (we dont have a porch)

and pops the post on the side

not just parcels, everything

fine by me, very nice in fact

[hereidrawtheline]

well in 8 years of living in this country it has never happened before so I didnt know it was normal! so there

[Longtalljosie]

It is normal. It's the sort of thing porches are for...

[LouMacca]

Our postman is lovely and I would much prefer that he popped a parcel in the house than leave it outside to get wet or stolen.

I do usually lock the front door though so it rarely happens but I certainly wouldn't be annoyed about it.

[Greensleeves]

My postman uses his initiative rather than leave me with a little slip telling me to pick up my parcel from the depot, and I appreciate it

he sometimes goes round the backj and leaves stuff undewr the tarpaulin outside the back door - he'll put a note through the door telling me where it is, signed "Postie"

or if I've left the front window open he'll post it through onto the window sill

if I'd left a door open I wouldn't be at all bothered if he opened it and slipped the package inside

I think it's very considerate of him and he is doing his job really well by finding ways of getting my parcels to me without me having to go out and fetch them

I wish more people were like him!

[myredcardigan]

I think you know YBU about the porch thing as that's one of their functions and he was not to know either about the door being noisy or the front door having no lock. He obv thought he was doing you a favour.

I think you're probably more upset about the sleep thing esp as your DS has SN. The time must be very precious to you. Can you consider either swapping his bedroom with another or putting a note at nap time saying plese don't ring/knock at the moment as baby is sleeping. Firstborns are always fragile sleepers. DS definitely was. DD2 on the other hand (my third) would sleep through a party in her bedroom. I can even hoover her room whilst she naps!

Glad you're less anxious that when you first posted.

[MollieO]

I miss my old postie. He used to leave packages at my mum's if I was out (live in the same village). Now I have to trek down to the sorting office or pick up soggy packages that have been tossed over the (high) garden gate with no thought as to what is inside.

[lizziemun]

My postie has been known to close and lock my front door and come and find me to give me my keys having a baby realy turn my brain to mush.

[Onlyaphase]

My postie opens my front door (no porch) and puts letters and parcels on the bottom of the stairs and then gives the labradors a biscuit each. I love living in the country.