XH and I are in the midst of a nasty divorce, he is/was a verbally/emotionally abusive aggresive useless husband and father!
He uses the access arrangements to hurt and control me, and does pretty much as he wants without contributing financially or practically!
we have 2 DD's aged 8 and 19 months, DD1 absolutely worships him!
She doesnt get a lot of time alone with him, usually her, DD2, OW/new GF and their baby (who is 5 months older than my DD2 who he had with her while still with me)!
He sees them 3 weekday mornings (takes DD1 to school and DD2 to CM), alternate sundays 9-4, and has DD1 ONE overnight a month (all he can manage he says for her)
He hasnt contributed at all to school holiday childcare, other than to cause problems, DD1 has been really upset so I suggested to him that maybe he could have her a few nights this month as she isnt in school!
His reaction was to say he will have her thur and sat night (now I know this is just his convenience as she swims thur night till 6:30 and he works sat till 6) !
I do all the activities/running about with poor DD2 in tow - he doesnt help at all!
SO he INFORMS me that I can drop DD1 off at his after swimming on Thur ...
So ok its not far but from swimming to my house is about 2mins drive, to his there and back to mine will be at least 15 mins prob more like 20 or more depending traffic (its not far but in the opposite direction through town)
I will have DD2 with me, by 6:30 after an hour in the hot pool watching DD1/trying to entertain her/stop her falling down stairs/jump into pool etc etc, me and her will be beyond frazzled....if I drop DD1 off we prob wont be home till 7:30-8 rather than 7 if I dont!
He has given me a earful of abuse saying I am a fat, lazy cow, I never go out my way, he does all the running about , and as always I am doubting myself and wondering whether its me But he just doesnt care about DD2, he will have been at the pub which is why he wont want to drive, OW/GF wont want to drive him (as usual) because its later and am guessing she will want to sort her DD out, so it will be muggins here who does it because I dont want DD1 to be disappointed yet again
I have spent years of my life running around at this arseholes whim, and am still doing it - AIBU????
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AIBU?
to not want to drop DD1 off??
30 replies
macdoodle · 05/08/2009 20:14
OP posts:
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