Advanced search

to think I am going to have to change my identity and leave the country because of this...

(60 Posts)
VerityClinch Tue 30-Jun-09 11:38:59

Am 38+3, and booked for an elective CS the day after tomorrow due to major placenta praevia. Am somewhat anxious, suffering from pregnancy brain, melting in the heat and all-round a bit out of touch with reality.

Spent the morning so far lying in bed, in a tshirt which now covers not much more than my boobs, under the fan.

The doorbell rang, and, without even thinking, I got up out of bed, went downstairs and answered it. It was the Ocado man. I stood there, in just the tshirt, my hairy fanjo on display (for clarity, one of the items in my order is VEET) to the entire neighbourhood without even realising.

To his credit, Ocadoman did not bat an eyelid, although he certainly wasn't in the mood for chatting and was in and out of the house very quickly!

I only realised once I had shut the door.

And now I am mortified. AIBU to think the only practical solution to this is to get immediate facial reconstructive surgery, assume a false identity and leave the country forever? What ON EARTH must that man be thinking?

Madmentalbint Tue 30-Jun-09 17:04:27

grin Fantastic. I bet you made his day grin

Don't worry about the facial reconstructive surgery....he probably wont even recognise you with clothes on! grin

Rhubarb Tue 30-Jun-09 16:44:26

Perhaps he thought how calm and collected you seemed since you were obviously in labour? Just make sure you've had it by the time he comes again!

Ripeberry Tue 30-Jun-09 16:41:23

Come on you made his day! I bet he's seen worse things grin

Rhubarb Tue 30-Jun-09 16:38:43

LOL! Ooh that's funny!

The worst I ever did is when an old male college friend decided to pay me a surprise visit soon after I had dd. I went into the kitchen to make him a brew and when I gave it to him I noticed him looking at me very strangely. I looked down and saw two huge wet patches on each breast, rapidly spreading...

I told him it was because I'd run out of milk for his brew so had to think creatively! grin

DontCallMeBaby Tue 30-Jun-09 16:35:03

They have some sort of database you know, we have 'difficult parking' against our details. Imagine what they've gone against the OP's now ...

Tummytuckrequired Tue 30-Jun-09 16:31:33

My friend had just had her first baby as we all know was glued to the sofa breast feeding/expressing and generally having a nervous breakdown.

They also happened to have builders in at the same time rennovating the kitchen. She said she spent 30 mins on the sofa talking to the builder about the extension - apparently for the first time ever he was quick to agree to he suggestions etc.. When he went the baby woke up and as she stood up she realised she still had her electric pump sucking away at her right nork which had been firmly in place throughout the whole conversation!

Needless to say the builders finished in record time.

SheDancesTheFlamingo Tue 30-Jun-09 16:27:19

Am just googling for recent posts on
Bet the forums today are buzzing wink

sarah293 Tue 30-Jun-09 16:20:29

Message withdrawn

MaggieBeeBeau Tue 30-Jun-09 16:19:11

ha ha, I used to have to bend down and rummage to make sure they hadn't sent chicken and fish all about to go off in half an houre!!

Did he give YOU a tip!?

"put your pants on love".

Maybe in 3 weeks you can greet him with a flat (well, ish, maybe) tummy and say, I ordered champagne for my sister who's having a baby!!!

VerityClinch Tue 30-Jun-09 16:13:43

And there was me thinking everyone would chime in with comments along the lines of "oh, not to worry, this sort of thing happens all the time when you're pregnant..."

Ahem. blush

Time to change the regular delivery slot*, I think.

*"delivery slot" being just that, not a euphemism for fanjo...

sarah293 Tue 30-Jun-09 16:10:50

Message withdrawn

differentID Tue 30-Jun-09 16:10:33


don't stress about it.

Just keep a loose skirt handy next delivery!

Baisey Tue 30-Jun-09 16:08:45

Yes at least it was Ocado.
Heaven forbid if an ASDA delivery man had seen your fanjo. grin
And also you do know if you do keep getting the same delivery man now, you've pulled!

audreyraines Tue 30-Jun-09 15:29:42

if it makes it better i order ocado nearly every week, and hardly ever get the same driver. just mix up your days and time slots and hope for the best!

merryberry Tue 30-Jun-09 15:28:05

>sits on hands<
>sits on hands harder<
>nails hands to floor<
>rips them out<

...he got there for your delivery slot OK then...

>apologises and leaves the planet<

If your pubes are as overgrown as mine were at the end of pregnancy when I could no longer properly reach nevermind see, he probably thought you were wearing dark knickers anyway until you turned round grin

KerryMumbles Tue 30-Jun-09 15:23:35

You know....

I bet these guys see


bellavita Tue 30-Jun-09 15:22:15

Oh bless you grin you have made me laugh..

giveloveachance Tue 30-Jun-09 15:21:44


and yes pregnancy brain does get worse when baby brain takes over....

leave notes out for yourself....

step 1 - get DRESSED

step 2 - check in the mirror that you are in fact DRESSED

step 3 - open the door

good luck with your elective c section and try and get as much rest as you can - you will need it!!


oh and no need to leave the country - when the ocardo man gets back to his depot, no-one will believe him!! they will think its a wind up!!

leothelioness Tue 30-Jun-09 15:18:26

Oh i just snorted tea up my nose, that is so funny.
I have to give the delivery man credit for being too polite to mention it.

PricklyVelvet Tue 30-Jun-09 15:15:51

most hilarious thing i have read all day...sorry

dawntigga Tue 30-Jun-09 15:12:17

OMG that made me laugh


Deeeja Tue 30-Jun-09 14:51:32

This has made me laugh so much grin
Was having a really terrible feeling sorry for myself sulky day, you snapped me out of it.

Lilyloo Tue 30-Jun-09 14:29:54

Lol makes my going out with two odd shoes on with pg befuddled brain a minor blip grin
Hope you have another source of grocery shopping for the future!

funtimewincies Tue 30-Jun-09 14:26:17

But I don't were wearing a t-shirt. Sounds suitably respectable to me, anything else is just accessorising grin!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now