To have felt patronised by the man in the deli today?

[LittleMyDancingWithTheDevil]

I went into the deli and asked if the feta in their salads was made with pasteurised milk (currently pg). the man said no, it wasn't, and that he obviously wasn't a woman (well, er, no) but that he wouldn't take the risk even with pasteurised feta.

So then when i said something about how come it was all the nice things that we weren't allowed he said 'well maybe it's a good lesson in thinking about something other than ourselves, isn't it?'

Erm......what? [hmmm]

Is it me or was that a bit patronising?

[harpomarx]

heavy-handed humour, I think - perhaps just a tad hormonal

[anyfucker]

lol

you are being hormonal

he is obviously a father

if this is your first, you will soon know what he means

[LittleMyDancingWithTheDevil]

I think that's why I'm so indignant - this is my third pregnancy, I think I have given up all sense of doing ANYTHING for myself any more.....

[anyfucker]

aww, lol

[BlueBumedFly]

Perhaps he is a churchgoer and that is the way he lives his life thinking of others? It does sound like something my ex-step-mother would say and she is overtly religeous (which I don't have a problem with I just want to state for the record!).

A tad hormonal perhaps?

[Hassled]

No, I would have felt patronised - and am most definately not pregnant (though possibly hormonal).

[monkeymonkeymonkey]

I think it is patronising.

[LittleMyDancingWithTheDevil]

I laughed it off with something about giving up alcohol and how I thought DP should give up booze too for the duration, and he said 'Oh yes, he should'.

He seemed quite serious.

Clearly he is a little holier than thou

[BloodshotEyeballsintheScarySky]

I would have been a bit pissed off by that. Cheeky sod. You might do 40 hours a week voluntary work and let your house out to refugees for all he knows.

[TheArmadillo]

I would find that patronising tbh, but not enough to lose sleep over (not that I was suggesting you were)

[nickytwoooohtimes]

He sounds like an arse.

[ilovemydog]

waitrose in Henleaze?

[onepieceoflollipop]

No idea if YABU as I wasn't there to assess the situation properly.

However I would like to reassure you that you are still "allowed" many of the nice things, in particular chocolate and cakes.

[LittleMyDancingWithTheDevil]

No

shan't name it in case he googles himself!

but you know it. small chain of posh independent delis - begins with C

[LittleMyDancingWithTheDevil]

onepieceoflollipop - am eating chocolate right now!

[TheArmadillo]

I know who you mean.

[LittleMyDancingWithTheDevil]

I should have expected them to be a)unpasteurised throughout and b) holier than thou, shouldn't I?

Serves me right. Shall go to Greggs in future.

[hecAteTheirBrains]

Well, it's true - parenting IS about taking care and thinking of needs other than your own - and as well as your own obviously but yes, sometimes putting other needs over yours. imo he was dead right in his sentiment, so I guess it comes down to how he said it did he speak slooooowly and in a slightly high tone?

[TheArmadillo]

still not as poncey as the olive shop we have by us.

Never open and sells only olives. Olives with different things in, but still, bit of a niche market.

Never known how they manage to stay in business.

I hate olives.

[LittleMyDancingWithTheDevil]

olives? is it called something witty using an olive-based pun?

I don't like olives much. they're ok. I wouldn't go in a shop that only sold olives though.

capers, now.......yum yum yum.

HecATETheirBrains - the thing is, he said it twice. and it was in a tone that made it sound like I should learn the lesson he was kindly imparting to me.

I think he thought it was my first baby. Keen to share his parental wisdon

[Gettingbiggernow]

Errr, yes he was patronising IMHO!

What's it got to do with him? How does he know you aren't the least selfish person in the local area? Why should there have to be a "Lesson" at all and why is he the chosen one to remind you of it if there is, when actually, you just went in there to buy some farkin feta?

Does he have a sign up saying "Moral lecture - Free with Feta Cheese"? Who appointed him head boy for the day?

D'ya know, I cannot stand preachy do-goodery moral high grounders in the guise of delicatessen staff. It is a pet hate.

PS can you tell I am also pg?

[LittleMyDancingWithTheDevil]

PMSL! I think I shall make him a sign just like that

Maybe we should get together and growl at deli staff who dare to do anything except give us our FARKING FETA!

[Gettingbiggernow]

Good job he doesn't work in my local deli hey or he might get a few more "lessons" on customer relations....

[ilovemydog]

ends in 'os?'

Ah yes. Had a bit of a 'debate' - asked the same sort of question 'is this pasterurised?' and he made snide comment, so I reminded him that actually the only reason I was asking is that he is obliged, by legislation, to distinguish non - pasteurised, which he clearly failed to do.

he did backtrack, but what a tosser...

[LittleMyDancingWithTheDevil]

That's the one ilovemydog.....which branch were you in? maybe it's the same man