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AIBU?

To have had a go at the ice cream lady???

39 replies

macdoodle · 10/08/2008 19:30

Bit of background..
single mum to nearly 7 year old DD1 and baby 7 months DD2
live in quiet cul de sac loads of kids play out including my DD1
my DD1 is grown up and articulate and as far from shy as you can get
bloody ice cream van comes every day in the summer and twice on the weekend with a queue of kids every time - they take a £1 each time irrelevant of what they get (eg same for soft serve, ice lolly or even dipper licker etc only exception is the double scoop soft serve for which they take £2) is costing me a fortune even making DD1 pay for some herself with money from GP's, dad etc
the usual ice cream man is nice and pleasant to kids

Tonight am in middle of putting baby to bed when in comes DD1 crying her heart out with soft serve covered in sauce (she hates sauce) - says she told lady (new) that she didn't want sauce but got it anyway and when told her that she didn't want one with sauce she told her to "lick it off" - it is very unlike my DD1 to cry over something like this and she says ice cream lady was "mean"

She is so upset that out I go with poor baby who was in middle of bottle (single mum so no one else in house)...and politely tell ice cream lady that DD1 didn't want sauce - she gets quite arsey with me saying she didn't hear her - am getting bit pissed off myself now - trying to hold onto temper in front of queue of kids - and say but there was no need to be mean to her you get quite a good business off these kids and if we stop letting them out to you will lose business...she continues to be arsey at which stage am afraid I did lose my temper and threw ice cream at her (luckily it just skidded on serving surface and splattered her leg a little)...also shouted that I was fed up with ice cream van and if they couldn't bother to be nice to the kids not to come back and I would ring council and complain....
She then did an abrupt about turn, apologised said she was just winding me up and replaced ice cream...
So AIBU - am a but ashamed for losing my temper but not for standing up for my DD1...

OP posts:

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Hecate · 10/08/2008 19:33

Well, you were unreasonable to throw it at her! but not unreasonable to challenge her.

singyswife · 10/08/2008 19:34

As my mum says there is nothing fiercer than a mother protecting her cubs. I think you were quite right to yell at her, dont know that I would have thrown the ice cream (I might have in those circumstances) but I would def have had a go. Well done you for standing up to her.

unfitmother · 10/08/2008 19:35

Of course you should stick up for your DD but you don't expect anyone to say you were being reasonable by throwing it at her do you?

Notalone · 10/08/2008 19:35

YANBU for sticking up for your DD but the throwing ice cream thing was not such a good thing to do. I suspect you know this though and we have all done things when we have been angry and regretted them later. Chalk it down to experience, get the kids off to bed and get yourself a glass of wine later .

ScottishMummy · 10/08/2008 19:36

so to teach her good manners and listening skills you had a berky and threw ice cream

Kerching!
not the right thing to do at all

But hell probably very very satisfying

Bumdiddley · 10/08/2008 19:36

Maybe dd one needs less ice cream?

ThingOne · 10/08/2008 19:36

Of course you were unreasonable but she does sound like a right cow. And it does seem that being unreasonable got you the result you wanted! Shame she wouldn't be helpful until you lost your rag.

Bumdiddley · 10/08/2008 19:37

dd1

macdoodle · 10/08/2008 19:39

Yes I do feel bad for throwing it - was one of those spur of the moment things you regret as soon as you have done it ...not a good thing for my DD1 to see...luckily it didn't actually hit her .....feel a bit silly now TBH just was so shocked to see my DD1 crying over an ice cream - she is hard as nails usually and hardly ever cries !

OP posts:

ScottishMummy · 10/08/2008 19:39

well you are very probably banned anyhow for being a flake (geddit!)

QOD · 10/08/2008 19:39

I would invest in some decent freezer lollies! I can't bear to buy decent ones, like smartie ones and stuff but wow, £1 a go is steep.
The meanies should have different pricing!

Luckily I live in a village about 5 miles from any others so no one wastes fule driving out to us!

WallOfSilence · 10/08/2008 19:39

Does your dd really have ice-cream every day?

Well, I have to say I wouldn't have thrown the cone at her but I would just stop buying from her.

Perhaps dd didn't say it loud enough for the lady to hear? Maybe she thought dd was one of those kids (like me ds!!) who changes his mind every 2 seconds and once she saw the sauce decided she didn't want it?

I would've stayed out of it tbh....

macdoodle · 10/08/2008 19:41

She definitely needs less ice cream...but try telling her that when all the other kids in the close are queuing for one...doesn't help when her dad and grandparents are forever giving her pound coins for ice cream which she sqirrels away !

OP posts:

WallOfSilence · 10/08/2008 19:44

Oh I know, it isn't easy when all the others are doing something & she wants to be the same.

macdoodle · 10/08/2008 19:45

QOD - I have a freezer full of nice ice cream and jubblies/freezer pops for sharing - not as much fun as the ice cream van - I have told her only every other day but she sqirrels pounds away and goes without me seeing...

Wallof - I almost always stay out of the "street politics" and let the kids sort it out themselves...but an adult being mean to a kid must have woken the mother instinct..
DD1 is quite loud and well spoken - she may not have heard her the first time but def did when she said she didn't want it (her response just "lick it off")...DD1 hates the sauce they put on soft serve always has ...

OP posts:

Goober · 10/08/2008 19:46

Find something else for DD to save her money for and buy a big pack of lollies to have in your freezer. Our local Co-op does 2 packs of strawberry-split lollies for £2, that's 10p each.

flubdub · 10/08/2008 19:47

at throwing the ice cream
(you're going to get a flaming though you realise)

Dont worry about it. Its done. Nobody got hurt.

Hecate · 10/08/2008 19:57

flub. This is mumsnet. She'll get a bigger flaming for allowing her child to eat icecream every day! , thereby causing diabetes, obesity, eating disorder, global warming and causing the sun to collapse in on itself...

pointydog · 10/08/2008 20:00

SOund s like the sort of argument I'd enjoy seeing.

IllegallyBrunette · 10/08/2008 20:00

YANBU

We have a van come round once a day in the week and twice at weekends and holidays, summer and winter and it does my head in.

Next doors kids have icecream every single time and I mean every time.

It just makes me look bloody mean because mine get it once in a while.

dittany · 10/08/2008 20:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Idoubtit · 10/08/2008 20:12

I'd be more worried by a 7 year old sneaking out frequently without you noticing.

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pointydog · 10/08/2008 20:18

Was she 'sneaking out'?

(I would not buy anything that was called 'soft serve'. Is that like Mr Whippy? Yeuch)

flubdub · 10/08/2008 20:18

Of course Hecate. Im so sorry.
MacDoodle, you baaaad thing you!

Idoubtit · 10/08/2008 20:19

Sounds like it to me:

"I have told her only every other day but she sqirrels pounds away and goes without me seeing..."

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