To ask for some advice about something (also posted on chat)

[tellmedad]

Well ok where do I start....I'm in my thirties DW is in her forties and my best mate is in his twenties.

He fancies DW and is always making sexual remarks about her quite openly to me and her. although we have a laugh and joke about it I know that if given the chance he would iykwim!!

Now he does has a larger then average, manhood to say the least (mens showers and all that, before anyone asks!!) and have told DW this which she does like but only in jest...I think

Has anyone had the same thing and what do you think about it all?

[MrsThierryHenry]

I get the feeling that you've not asked the question you really want to ask...or am I reading too much here?

[lulumama]

no, i have never discussed the size of my male friends penises with my DH

do you want a threesome? what do you think?

sounds a bit bleargh to me, but then i am mundanely happily married

[tellmedad]

We are happily married lulumama and I only told DW about the size because it is unusually large, but then maybe I'm being to sensitive and reading too much into it, MTH.

As for a threesome I think DW would benefit more then I would! and not really sure how I feel about that

[lulumama]

i am not really sure what you are asking for really.

if someone finds your wife sexually alluring, discussing his penis size with her might make her feel you are ok with him desiring her and maybe taking things further

something that you and your DW need to talk about really

[Kaedsmum]

Oh dear... I think there's a lack of trust on your part, which is down to insecurity.

Honestly, women do not care about sizes of willies. We just care about finding a fantastic man who loves us. Of course sex is important but I think it's just that people click if they're right together and then it's fantastic sex.

I also think that if you are worrying about whether she's interested, then it's more than just jest now isn't it?

Talk to your wife about it.

And keep him out of your relationship. If he's the kind of 'friend' who will cause problems between you and your wife I'd get rid of him.

[MrsThierryHenry]

I second what Kaed said. I don't think this best friend is going to do your relationship any good. Is he quite a strong character? and your DW? I'm wondering whether perhaps you're used to him and your DW being more dominant than you in conversations, etc - in which case perhaps you might be finding it difficult to tackle the situation head-on.

[tellmedad]

Thanks Kaedsmum...the thing is tbh i have mixed felings around this

which does include a litle bit excited by it is that normal? I think DW is as well

[Kaedsmum]

Well if you already know he's got a whopper, I wouldn't really risk going into the bedroom and feeling inadequate or like a spectator. If your wife is excited by it I'd be inclined not to trust either of their intentions.

Also, I've been fairly adventurous in my time, but I do think that 3sms ruin relationships and would never do one with my DP.

I think it's normal to enjoy the fantasy, and if that's what you want to do, you will, but in my opinion it's best to keep it as a fantasy as it could maybe ruin your marriage.

Or do you mean your excited about it as in enjoy the drama a bit and quite like that he likes your wife and you have competition and she likes the attention etc?

Either way I think you have to way up how much you value what you could lose.

[Kaedsmum]

Just to clarify, when I said I wouldn't do one with DP, I wouldn't do one full stop now that I've settled down. It sounded as though I was saying I'd do one behind his back or something lol.

Do you have any children together?

[tellmedad]

Yes we have children together and a solid marriage. DW and I do joke about it and do fantasise as well which is normal I know.

[MKG]

The only person who would benefit from the threesome would be your friend, as he would leave without the emotional baggage you and your wife would have to face.

If you value your marriage don't do it.

[honeybehappy]

you know you best maye wants to shag your DW and you joke about it?
I don't think my dp would find that funny.

[rebelmum1]

is this for real? big dicks and being attractive are not synonymous, I can't imagine anything worse than a cocky 20 year old with a foul mouth making sexual comments.

[MamaGLovesMe]

I have reported this as it is ridiculous.

[tellmedad]

He's not foul mouthed RM1 quite mature for his age and he does like older women. DW feels flattered by this which is fine by me

[rebelmum1]

oh gawd you're thinking of going up against him cock against cock with your wife .. sounds a bit dubious to me.

[MrsThierryHenry]

Rebelmum, you have put it beautifully.

MamaGLovesMe, please tell me you're joking. You are, aren't you?

[honeybehappy]

do you respect your wife?

[MrsThierryHenry]

Can I just clarify - I was responding to rebelmum's first post! x-posting and all that!

[rebelmum1]

you'll walk away with a complex

[rebelmum1]

ha ha

[tellmedad]

Firstly MamaGlovesMe I apologise if you felt the need to report me and thank you MTH for your support.

I was told that mumsnet was here to help all life situations and get different perspectives on it. what does everyone else think?

[honeybehappy]

personally i think you are acting like a child and you need to grow up.

[rebelmum1]

You have got different perspectives on it.

[MrsThierryHenry]

Yup! I'd agree with that summary of MN! Even though the 3sum thing is not my bag I wouldn't report you for discussing it!

(Still think you need to ditch your best 'friend', though. The guillotine outta do it!)