to think that "but what if you get raped?"

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

shouldnt be a question that needs asking when you are discussing a potential job with your dh?

now i know that he is only concerned about me, though atm it feels like he is attacking me, but should we really have to live in a society where this is a consideration when looking for work? and where do you draw the line? should women never walk anywhere unattended? what if i went for a job at the pizza shopisnt that more dangerous? i would be walking home at midnight or late alone, albeit along a busy well lit road not a bridge in an industrial park

the job i am was looking at is quite a walk away unless you walk over a bridge which is quite enclosed but imo well lit and just as safe as walking to the shop late at night, dh needed to "what if you get raped walking over that bridge?" when discussing how i would get home from this job. AIBU to think that its really sad this should have be a consideration when looking for work?

[charliecat]

It is really sad but it is a fact of today isnt it?

[bythepowerofgreyskul]

people get raped for all sorts of reasons.
I would bet all the moneuy I have that NONe of the reasons are anything that the victim could have done anything about.

[NorthernLurker]

Yes it is really sad. To side step that issue though - could you cycle - you and your dh might feel more comfortable?

[CuckooClockWise]

It would put me off doing the job. Doesn't matter that your dh was the one to mention it. Could have been your mother or sister or father.

It's a risk walking about on your own late at night. What is the job and why would your attire be relevant? Put on a coat over your outfit on the way home. Change into trainers.

[solidgoldbrass]

It's a bit uneceesarily paranoid as the majority of rapes are not committed by masked men leaping out at a woman in the street. Most rapists are known to their victims. Point that out to your DH and tell him, as well, that it's actually men who are more at risk from random street violence.

[charliecat]

Oh yeah..I used to cycle home with a hoody on. And jeans. On a blokes bike, always felt much safer.

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

yes i could cycle and that would include being on mainly well lit busy roads, why had that not occured to me? duh!!

i just thought that it was really sad that this needed to be a consideration when looking for work!

that was my point to dh greyskull, it could happen to anyone at anytime so where do you draw the line on keeping yourself safer? i can only work at night so would need to get home from where ever early on a morning/v late at night and alone!

[copingvquietly]

oh great.just what i needed to see

[LittleBella]

Why doesn't your Dh come and meet you if he's scared about you getting raped/ mugged/ attacked?

Will you be working in the evenings? If it is daytime and he'll be at work, then he is being v. paranoid.

[hester]

you ok, copingvquietly?

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

i dont think attire was mentioned, but it was reception work at a hotel so would be smart wear, trouser suit or similar.

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

he would be looking after the dds so no he couldnt come and meet me

[theSuburbanDryad]

cvq - you can hide the thread with the link above.

Hope you're ok.

[bythepowerofgreyskul]

WTURN AROUND AND WALK AWAY CvQ
Please........

[copingvquietly]

i might asd well just top myself,sob>

[ravenAK]

I'm a bolshy 'Reclaim the Night' type - wherever we want to go, whatever we want to wear etc.

So I wouldn't let it put me off the job but would give serious thought to cycling?

Or, if it's walking distance - minicab? It's possible the employer might even cover the cost, I used to when I had a pub.

[PeaMcLean]

CVQ I know you have lots of friends on MN. Hide this thread and start a new one telling us how you're feeling.

[bythepowerofgreyskul]

CvQ walk away from this thread NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

[copingvquietly]

im going.i need some fresh air

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

yes me too raven i think that is why he asked the question, he already suspected that i would be walking home and considering the route i think he knew id be planning on walking over that bridge.

sorry cvq i didnt mean to upset you

[theSuburbanDryad]

I'm with Raven on this - in 10 odd years of walking wherever and whenever I wanted to, the only hassle I ever got was off the police!!

My male best friend, OTOH, was stabbed on his way home from my house.

[lucyellensmum]

cvq - you have been so kind to me on my threads, can someone please link me to an alternate thread - would really like to know cvq is OK.

[bythepowerofgreyskul]

LEM CvQ over here

[Alambil]

a woman was attacked at suspected (as in they found a knife on scene but she was too scared to remember if it was brought on her) knife point only 5 mins walk from our (very busy) train station last week.

In broad daylight.

In rush hour.

With MANY commuters near and around her.

Nowhere is safe, really - if it's going to happen, it's going to happen... all you can do is take precautions to the best of your ability I guess.

[NotQuiteCockney]

Stranger rape is really rare.

I once asked a lot of women on another general woman's site sort of place, about rape. Lots of women had experienced date rape etc etc. None of them had been raped by a stranger.

I've seen stats showing that men are at greater risk of physical harm, walking around alone - because other men will hassle them or pick a fight. And that's a lot more common than stranger rape.