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to think that "but what if you get raped?"

(45 Posts)
SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Mon 28-Jul-08 22:25:28

shouldnt be a question that needs asking when you are discussing a potential job with your dh?

now i know that he is only concerned about me, though atm it feels like he is attacking me, but should we really have to live in a society where this is a consideration when looking for work? and where do you draw the line? should women never walk anywhere unattended? what if i went for a job at the pizza shopisnt that more dangerous? i would be walking home at midnight or late alone, albeit along a busy well lit road not a bridge in an industrial park

the job i am was looking at is quite a walk away unless you walk over a bridge which is quite enclosed but imo well lit and just as safe as walking to the shop late at night, dh needed to "what if you get raped walking over that bridge?" when discussing how i would get home from this job. AIBU to think that its really sad this should have be a consideration when looking for work?

charliecat Mon 28-Jul-08 22:27:23

It is really sad but it is a fact of today isnt it?

bythepowerofgreyskul Mon 28-Jul-08 22:29:00

people get raped for all sorts of reasons.
I would bet all the moneuy I have that NONe of the reasons are anything that the victim could have done anything about.

NorthernLurker Mon 28-Jul-08 22:29:13

Yes it is really sad. To side step that issue though - could you cycle - you and your dh might feel more comfortable?

CuckooClockWise Mon 28-Jul-08 22:30:41

It would put me off doing the job. Doesn't matter that your dh was the one to mention it. Could have been your mother or sister or father.

It's a risk walking about on your own late at night. What is the job and why would your attire be relevant? Put on a coat over your outfit on the way home. Change into trainers.

solidgoldbrass Mon 28-Jul-08 22:31:29

It's a bit uneceesarily paranoid as the majority of rapes are not committed by masked men leaping out at a woman in the street. Most rapists are known to their victims. Point that out to your DH and tell him, as well, that it's actually men who are more at risk from random street violence.

charliecat Mon 28-Jul-08 22:32:16

Oh yeah..I used to cycle home with a hoody on. And jeans. On a blokes bike, always felt much safer.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Mon 28-Jul-08 22:32:48

yes i could cycle and that would include being on mainly well lit busy roads, why had that not occured to me? duh!!

i just thought that it was really sad that this needed to be a consideration when looking for work!

that was my point to dh greyskull, it could happen to anyone at anytime so where do you draw the line on keeping yourself safer? i can only work at night so would need to get home from where ever early on a morning/v late at night and alone!

copingvquietly Mon 28-Jul-08 22:33:45

oh great.just what i needed to see sad

LittleBella Mon 28-Jul-08 22:35:54

Why doesn't your Dh come and meet you if he's scared about you getting raped/ mugged/ attacked?

Will you be working in the evenings? If it is daytime and he'll be at work, then he is being v. paranoid.

hester Mon 28-Jul-08 22:36:13

you ok, copingvquietly?

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Mon 28-Jul-08 22:36:30

i dont think attire was mentioned, but it was reception work at a hotel so would be smart wear, trouser suit or similar.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Mon 28-Jul-08 22:37:10

he would be looking after the dds so no he couldnt come and meet me

theSuburbanDryad Mon 28-Jul-08 22:37:44

cvq - you can hide the thread with the link above.

Hope you're ok.

bythepowerofgreyskul Mon 28-Jul-08 22:37:46


copingvquietly Mon 28-Jul-08 22:40:36

i might asd well just top myself,sob>

ravenAK Mon 28-Jul-08 22:42:47

I'm a bolshy 'Reclaim the Night' type - wherever we want to go, whatever we want to wear etc.

So I wouldn't let it put me off the job but would give serious thought to cycling?

Or, if it's walking distance - minicab? It's possible the employer might even cover the cost, I used to when I had a pub.

PeaMcLean Mon 28-Jul-08 22:42:50

CVQ I know you have lots of friends on MN. Hide this thread and start a new one telling us how you're feeling.

bythepowerofgreyskul Mon 28-Jul-08 22:43:02

CvQ walk away from this thread NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

copingvquietly Mon 28-Jul-08 22:44:35

im going.i need some fresh air

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Mon 28-Jul-08 22:45:22

yes me too raven i think that is why he asked the question, he already suspected that i would be walking home and considering the route i think he knew id be planning on walking over that bridge.

sorry cvq i didnt mean to upset you sad

theSuburbanDryad Mon 28-Jul-08 22:46:25

I'm with Raven on this - in 10 odd years of walking wherever and whenever I wanted to, the only hassle I ever got was off the police!!

My male best friend, OTOH, was stabbed on his way home from my house. sad

lucyellensmum Mon 28-Jul-08 22:46:25

cvq - you have been so kind to me on my threads, can someone please link me to an alternate thread - would really like to know cvq is OK.

bythepowerofgreyskul Mon 28-Jul-08 22:47:42

LEM CvQ over here

Alambil Mon 28-Jul-08 23:00:56

a woman was attacked at suspected (as in they found a knife on scene but she was too scared to remember if it was brought on her) knife point only 5 mins walk from our (very busy) train station last week.

In broad daylight.

In rush hour.

With MANY commuters near and around her.

Nowhere is safe, really - if it's going to happen, it's going to happen... all you can do is take precautions to the best of your ability I guess.

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