I was going through my emails earlier today, deleting old ones, and came across an email from my ex from 2014 that I ignored at the time.
I was in an abusive relationship with him, until I was contemplating leaving and having a discussion with my sister about whether to leave him. He read my messages one day and told me that if I left him, he'd kill me. So I ran with nothing a few days later and went to my mums. This was in 2012.
We stayed apart and I divorced him circa 2013. I met my boyfriend, now husband, later in 2013.
Ex emailed me in 2014 basically apologising for everything he'd done, wishing me and my family members well, and saying that he hoped I'd forgive him. The email said that he wanted to apologise because he's not well and it might be the last chance he got. He'd moved back to his home country by this point (I think, the adverts at the side of the page were telling me I could transfer money to this country by Western Union, so assumed it had picked up metadata or cookies or however it worked from his IP address).
I ignored it at the time as it was all quite raw, I was happy with my boyfriend, new life basically.
However now that I have re seen that email from a few years ago, I'm wondering if I was unreasonable in not responding.
I assumed at the time that he was trying to guilt me in some way, but now I'm wondering whether he was actually very ill/dying as he indicated in the email.
Should I have responded at the time? Should I have told an ill, possibly dying man I forgave him? Tbh, I'm not sure if I even have. There's nothing I can do now of course, and there's no way I'd rock the boat of my happy family and very different life now, I just feel guilty that he may have gone to his grave waiting to hear from me.
Was I unreasonable?
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AIBU?
To have not responded to this email?
38 replies
Eileen101 · 18/05/2021 18:39
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
308 votes. Final results.
POLL
You are being unreasonable
6%
You are NOT being unreasonable
94%
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